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July 27, 2006

Jets Game this Sunday

The last home game of the season is this weekend guys so lets make it a big one. Entry to the game is completely free of charge so not even Justin can make an excuse about this one. Gates for the Butts Arena open at 1.30 Sunday but kickoff isn't til 2.30pm so I should be there around 2ish getting a good seat on the 45yard line. Come and join me!!

Everyone's welcome. Bring a friend, bring several, bring money for beer and chips and death burgers, it's going to be a fabby afternoon. AND, as if the prospect of seeing the last home game of the season for the best team in the country wasn't enough, they'll be receiving the BAFL (British American Football League) trophy at half time. PLUS – not more I hear you cry – there are cheerleaders. In not very much.

So what's stopping you?!?

Butts Arena, Butts Road, Coventry 2.30 Sunday 30th July!!!!!!!

July 21, 2006

Update of sorts…

So, I have a job. Yay for me. I had an interview at 2.30 today and subsequently had to walk back from Tachbrook Park which took me about 50 mins and before I'd even got home I had a call from my agency to tell me I had the job. Yay! Think that's a record for me.

Anyway, just realised I haven't blogged in a while because I've been internet–less for such a long time. Even this connection is cutting out every now and again. Humph. This is also because I've been helping Geordie move house. He was handing everything over today at 12 so he's officially homeless. Bless him. Plus, I'm on emergency cat standby type thing. The boys (Sam and Sprocket) are at Geordie's friends house with him at the moment but unfortunately this friend happens to be allergic to them so if he collapses or his head explodes or whatever they're going to be evacuated to mine (albeit undercover because it's not really allowed)

So, yeah, I'm employed, I have a new room and I am getting happier. Not quite happy yet because of the 2 Masters courses I want to do I can do precisely none of them. Ho hum.

x x

July 01, 2006

Football – Shame

I thought I'd just add insult to injury considering the England loss today by completely ignoring it because it means nothing to me and talking about another sport altogether and bringing up the old argument….

For shame all of you who have yet to attend an American Football game. For Shame. The only person I've managed to drag to a game so far this year has been my Dad. He lives in London for crying out loud! You lot live 10 minutes away!

For shame.

Although yay for Lucy who came to the Bulls game, albeit not technically with me so I can't take credit for it but yay all the same.

Next game is the sunday after degrees, 16th July. Who's with me?

(cue tumbleweed…)

June 12, 2006


Yay. For many reasons.

1. We did it.
2. It's over.
3. Its unlikely to be that bad ever again.

To name but a few. I'm with Lorna on the whole taking it too far thing. Members of the submissions panel should read the pack in detail before attending the meeting to get rid of unnecessary questions and the chair should be given more power to control the meeting and help to keep the length of the meeting down to sensible amounts of time.

Ho hum.

But yay!

May 31, 2006


The entry below is why Ellie shouldn't be allowed to be bored. I just re–read the rambling madness that I managed to create earlier today. Oh dear.

Post Exams

Ok, so all this time (the past few months of general hell) I've been looking forward to this week. Honestly. Well, ok, maybe last week, but this week is just the same as last week for me, just bear with me. Ok, so, looking forward to this magical 'after exam' time has been all that I could think about, when I wasn't thinking about isomorphic knots and CG–modules of course. But now that I'm here I'd rather like not to be. I'm so bored. I'm bored out of my tiny little mind. Honest to God I'd rather be studying, not the crazy 'just before finals aaah I've done bugger all all year' studying, but just something. But no. I have nothing. I should be finding a job and, oh yeah, somewhere to live might be an idea too, but they are, quite frankly, dull things to do. I'd rather be learning. Never thought I'd say that after the past three years, least of all this soon after the past three years.

Anyhow, I've been working up to 2 things; the first was the game on sunday, which the Jets won by the way. They kicked the Bulls' asses 27–0. Hahaha!!! Division 1 get their arses kicked right royally by Division 1A team. Hahaha!!! Anyway, the other thing was plucking up the courage to ask Geordie if he would like to do that whole moving in together thing. Anyhow, I did both of these things at the weekend and now I have nothing to do. I've been working on finding somewhere for me, Geordie and the cats but now I just need to find somewhere for me and let him worry about himself following our conversation on Sat and the game is over and the next home game isn't til the 18th June :( I have nothing that I need to work towards. It's really silly because I know I should be applying myself to this whole job thing the way I applied myself to the home game on Sunday but I really can't. It's dull. Real dull.

So anyway, if anyone is reading this and needs to get out and do something suggest something and let me know because, lets face it, I'm not going anywhere. With the exception of the hours of 5–7 on Thursday I have BUGGER ALL TO DO!!! and it's driving me insane.

Ho hum.

May 26, 2006


Ok, so I'm copying Lorna with the capital letter title thingy but it got my attention so here goes…

Ok, so as most of you know already I am manic about American Football and I am aware that I am in a minority here. I am also aware that there's Rugby on the telly on Sunday and that it is a Sunday and should be spent in bed but go with me here.

On Sunday at 2.30pm the Coventry Cassidy Jets (your local team for those of you at Warwick) will be playing the Birmingham Bulls at home. This means that one of the most important games of the 2006 season is going to be played on Sunday in the Butts arena in Coventry. The Jets are 14 games undefeated and, having just moved up to Division 1A and played their first game of the season last week (thrashing Staffordshire Surge 39–0 away) they now face the best team in the Division, local rivals Birmingham. Although you might be unaware of it there's a lot of rivalry between Birmingham and Coventry teams so this game is a really important one for the Jets. If they can beat the Bulls they can look forward to more wins this season.

So with that in mind it's important that they get the support they deserve. They should be able to pack out the Butts Arena but they need your help. You may not understand the game, you may not care about American Football, you may think it's Rugby with pads on but don't knock it til you've tried it. This is a game that's making a big comeback in this country and it's your chance to see two of the best teams in the country battle it out. It promises to be a good game, possibly very high scoring and without doubt it's going to be a game that comes right down to the wire, every play is going to matter.

So even if you've never even seen American Football before, if you don't think you could understand it but if you need to get out for a few hours on Sunday, escaping revision or maybe your exams are over get in touch!! You can buy tickets on the Jets website Coventry Cassidy Jets but hopefully there will also be tickets available on the day. Get in touch with me by email if you fancy giving this a try, I'll be getting the bus from Leam and can meet people on Campus or in Cov and I'll explain the rules as we go along if needed.

Tell everyone!!! It's going to be awesome!!! GO JETS!!!

May 18, 2006

Soooo, this whole failure thing….

With every exam I sit the possibility of me getting the thing I've been working for for ages gets slimmer and slimmer. After getting kicked off the Masters course last year the thing that comforted me was the possibility of getting a 2.1 at the end of the 3 years. Now that seems to be disappearing. I'm so close to the end and so close to my goal, just a couple of percentage points here, the odd mark there would do, and yet it seems like I'm running uphill and with every single exam that I take, every day I cross off the wall planner the hill keeps getting steeper.

The biggest problem I have is that my exams (and I guess my degree) is all over in 4days. If I stopped working now and just did a half hour blitz before each of the remaining 4 exams I'd get a 2.2 because I'm confident that I know enough to get the marks I need to get that. The problem is that I could work my arse off this week and still get a 2.2. Why should I bother? If I get 50% or if I get 57% it's still a 2.2. I know employers sometimes probe to find out whether you were just off a 2.1 or if you scraped your way out of a 3rd with a lot of hard work at the end but at the end of the day it still goes down as the same thing. Fucking annoying.

Failure fucking sucks. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that getting a 2.2 from Warwick is a bad thing, hell no. Any degree from Warwick is not something to be scoffed at. I just know I'm better than that and I'm not even going to achieve my second best now. If anyone has anything that could make me much much happier I would appreciate it, whether it be a hug or a slap and some good advice.

Even Kerrang! ads aren't making me smile as much as they used to. I can now listen to the sarcy–voiced woman say hilarious lines such as "About as welcome as a call from an ex telling you to get down the clinic" and "Would you ask your mum for advice on how to please your partner? Really?" without even so much as smirking. It is a sad day.

May 10, 2006

Clinging to my sanity

Panic! At the Disco are my new Gods, solely because their two singles that I have on my PC are the only things keeping me sane.

I hate summer, why won't it just go away, it's just making my life miserable. I'm sat in my room hot and bothered, sweating like a complete pig, sneezing and sniffing like a revolting snot machine and tweaking due to my pro plus dependency trying to make myself do work without breaking down in tears.

Ho Hum.

In other news….oh no, wait, I have no other news, my life is ridiculous at the moment, it's virtually non–existent.

2 down 5 to go…

12 more days…


DISCLAIMER: I am not as depressed as my Blog implies, I am merely losing my sanity and subsequently making no sense. My A-level maths teacher told me I'd never work harder than I did for my A-levels. HA! When I have completed my exams I am going to hunt her down and beat her with my Mathematical Economics textbook until she admits that she told me a barefaced lie.

April 21, 2006


One down, six to go.

It didn't go that badly either!! YAY!!! After feeling nauseous for a whole day and getting about 3 hours sleep due to my boyfriend coming over before he went off to Italy (he's just going on a trip to train with one of the best teams in all of Europe all paid for by the sponsors, you know, the usual…) I feel much better than I have for a while. I am just looking forward to getting this over and done with. I will probably have to accept the fact that I will not be having a social life for the next month and my next phone bill may well be as big as the last one. Oh well. It's all about getting a job in July and buying the pretty skirt and those peep toe shoes I want. Think positive.

So, how's everyone else?

April 11, 2006


So I got a bit of a shock today – I looked up the dates of my graduation, which in itself is scary enough, but the scarier thing is that on my dip into the big surf that is the internet I found the provisional timetable for my exams. Words cannot express the ouch I felt when I wrote these babies down. In 6 weeks exactly I will be finished. Totally finished. I mean woah! I have 5 exams in 7 days in 5 weeks – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

So, panic over (with help from copious amounts of chocolate and a long chat with my mother and my boyfriend) I'm now moving on to the wonders of what to do with the 6 weeks I have between the exams finishing and my graduation, I mean really, what is a girl to do? I'm so up for a good time now and that's nothing! In 6 weeks time I won't have had a good knees up for months, I'll be gasping!! So, plans for how to spend the rest of my savings and loan and anything my parents and grandparents wish to give me for surviving that long are more than welcome. Also, any ideas on what I should wear to the Final Fling? I've got the time to piss around with a sewing machine but I've got no ideas!!

Ok, boredom spat over, back to work, or alternatively to bed, it is rather late….

March 30, 2006

Bored out of my mind

Ok, so I know I should be working, revising or something but I have a killer of a stomach cramp and every attempt I've made at working have resulted in me being in pain so I've decided to curl up on the sofa with a hot water bottle stuck to my tummy watching the tv.

This brings me onto the reason for blogging. Daytime TV. Honest to God, who watches this crap? I understand that there are bored housewives and people like my grandparents who do nothing much more to do than watch TV and drink tea but couldn't they make something better? Anything better? Watching cockroaches race up a damp wall would be more interesting than this assortment of overly made-up weirdos with no dress sense combined with some films that should never have got the green light in the first place. I'm watching one at the moment, while I'm blogging obviously. It's entitled "Danger Island" and it has noone in it of any interest and it's about being stuck on a deserted island with a creature that was created by the CIA, escaped and killed the doctors 20 years previously. It's all very amusing, or at least I'm sure it would be if I was watching with friends and a few beers. I feel so awful today I can hardly stand up straight so I can't even go and buy chocolate :( I'm sitting here, chocolate-less, beer-less and watching a film called Danger Island. It is a sad day my friends.

So on a lighter note, my birthday party was a complete success, it was truly awesome. I was so happy so many people came, even Geordie despite telling me for days that he wasn't going to be able to make it – Lorna conspired to keep me in the dark and I will hate you forever for it missy!!

Oh the island isn't deserted apparently. They've found some tribe or other that apparently the sea/swamp/lab monster doesn't like the taste of. What a spectacular film, how did this seem like a good idea on paper?!?

More procrastination…

1. Were you named after anyone? 2 great grandmothers Eleanor and Sarah, so yeah

2. Do you wish on stars? I used to every night but that was when I was little and didn't understand they were GIANT BALLS OF FIRE

3. When did you last cry? Last night, I am a complete pansy

4. Do you like your handwriting? Oh yes, it took me ages to perfect it

5. What is your favourite meat? Pork, or any other sort of pig you wish to fry and cover in brown sauce for that matter

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? Kylie? That's probably the worst, and yet Britney is probably a close second

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Haha no, I'm an attention whore who is particularly highly strung, but if you can look past that then I make a super friend

8.Are you a daredevil? Chicken. Totally.

9. How do you release anger? I get drunk and do embarrassing things

10. Where is your second home? Home home, Tooting, it'll always be home but I prefer being far far away from my parents.

11. Do you trust others easily? I am quite trusting but it takes a lot for me to truly trust someone

12. What was your favourite toy as a child? Thomas the Tank Engine toys :)

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless? Media studies, sorry to anyone who does it but I had a taste of it at GCSE and it was a complete waste of time

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, never…

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Once, it was an accident

16. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Intelligent conversation

17. Would you bungee jump? Good God no

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Some of them

19. What's your favourite ice cream? Ben & Jerry's Phish Food

20. What are your favourite colours? Blue, Black, Purple, Red – does black count?

21. What are your least favourite things? Inexcusable stupidity and a lack of consideration

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now? Only one – so childish :)

23. Who do you miss most right now? Do cats count? Sam and Sprocket, they were helping me revise a couple of days ago and now I have to do it alone

24. What are you listening to right now? I'm watching TV but if it counts the washing machine is making some delightful noises

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Green

26. What is the weather like right now? It's grey yet sunny – work that one out

27. Last person you talked to on the phone? My ex

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes….mmmm…. pretty eyes

29. Do you like the person who sent you this? I like the many people I could have stolen this from :D

30. How are you today? Knackered and fed up of revising

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink? Probably cola, or something like pineapple juice

32. Favourite alcoholic drink? Malibu, or sambuca in moderation

33. Natural hair colour? Yeah, because that's not obvious…

34. Eye colour? Blue.

35. Wear contacts? Nope

36. Siblings? One younger brother, Alex

37. Favourite month? February

38. Favourite food? Cannot choose one. All food is good, except everything I have cooked

39. Favourite day of the year? Boxing Day

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? Nope, always ask, you never know what you might be missing, or that they might feel just as shy

41. Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies, all about the scary movie

42. Summer or winter? Winter

43. Do you want your friends to write back? Stupid…

44. Who is most likely to respond? More stupid

45. What book/magazine are you reading? Notes from a big country by Bill Bryson

46. What's on your mouse pad? My mouse pad at home has Bagpuss on it :)

47. What did you watch on TV last night? A film called Alive that was quite depressing

48. Favourite Smell? Can I say Geordie? I would say the smell of his flat but the cats kinda ruin that fairly frequently

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone? Yes, yes I have, but not for long

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done? tiresome – Mass? Being Catholic generally.

Loving these quiz things x x

March 29, 2006


Played Spin the Bottle?:
Oh dear, yes
Toilet Papered someone's house:
Um, no
Played Poker with money:
No, I have no poker face so nooooo
Gone swimming in a white T-shirt:
Over a swimsuit because I am ginger….
Been tickled so hard you couldn't talk:
Um, with Lorna on this one
Liked someone but never told them:
No, I always say something
Gone camping:
I was a Guide so that's a big fat embarrassing yes
Had a crush on your brother's friend:
Oh dear God no
Walked in the rain without an umbrella:
Yes, in Prague, in summer skirt and sandles
Told a joke that nobody thought was funny:
Oh dear, yes
Been in a talent show:
Started laughing at someone's bedtime:
Worn somthing your mom didn't appove of:
Still do
Been to a nude beach:
Oh Good God NOOOOOO I hate my body
Drunk Jack Daniels:
Yes – eugh!
Cursed in a church:
All the time, sorry!
Been called a slut for kissing someone:
Yes, by my best friend at the time
Burnt yourself with a curling iron/straightner:
Wanted to be a police officer:
Dumped someone:
Been hit on by someone too old:
Wanted to be a model:
Bought lottery tickets:
Made out in a car:
Wanted something you couldn't have:
Yes, plenty
Had sex on the beach:
Not on the beach, something to do I guess as I can't sunbathe….
Had the drink sex on the beach:
Seen someone shoplift:
Not that I recall
Hung up on someone:
Yelled at your pet:
Bought a thong when the cashier was a guy:
Yes, tres embarrassing
Tried to strip when drunk:
Haha, um, yes
Gotten seasick:
Nope, never, pansies
Had a stalker:
Played a prank on somone that had them really scared:
Been embarassed by one of your family:
One? Can we go with all instead?
Felt bad about eating meat:
Hell no
About top-up fees, but I just went because it was a chance to see my friends from home
Been to an island:
We happen to live on one, but that aside, yes
Been in love:
Eaten just because you were bored:
I am doing so right now in fact
Looked at something everybody thought was ugly and said "aww":
No, ugly things are ugly…..only kidding, probably
Screamed in a library:
Made out with a stranger:
Ah, my misspent youth
Been Dumped:
Wished a part of you was different:
Do we have to be specific about one part?
Asked a guy to dance:
Been asked out by a really hot guy:
Laughed so hard you cried:
Yes, wonderful thing
Went up to a complete stranger and started talking:
Oh hell yeah
Been sunburned:
No comment
Kicked a guy in the nuts for being a pervert:
Yes, but before I truly understood the mechanics of all that down there
Threw up in school:
Recieved an anonymous love letter:
Yes, a valentines actually
Had to wear something you hated:
Upon seeing the pics my mother fished out for my birthday I'm gonna go with yes
Been to a luau:
Yes, I threw one in Tooting when my parents were on the beach in Hawaii :(
Saw your ex and wanted to kick his ass:
Haha, did, well tried to, but couldn't stand up so settled for throwing up in KFC instead
Cursed in front of your parents:
Yes, still get a slap for it too
Been in a commerical on tv:
Watched a movie that made you miss your ex:
Everything I watched for 6 months after Matt?
Been out of the country:
Been honked at by some guy when you were walking down the
Won at pool:
Yes, when I was wasted at 3am in a pool hall against Tom – WOO!
Went to a party where you were the ony sober one:
I went for a curry but all the other times I've been the drunk/dancing/stripping/embarrassing one
Went on a diet:
Weightwatchers for 3 months – 10lbs, baby
Been lost out to sea:
Cheated on your bf:
Only a snog, which was drunken, does that count? I'm a good girl really
Been cheated on:
Yes but I don't know to what extent
Tanned topless:
Been attacked by seagulls:
A goat, yes; seagulls, no
Been searched in an airport:
Been on a plane:
Been pants-ed:
If Lorna is infact correct then perhaps when my little brother learned how to do that
Thown a shoe at someone:
Broke someone's heart:
Yes :(
Sung in the shower:
Define singing, my voice seems to sound awful in the shower
Bought something way too expensive:
All the time – and then regret it
Done something really stupid that you still laugh about:
Probably did this weekend :)
Been walked in on when you were dressing:
Ran out of a movie theatre because you were too scared of the movie:
I did sit with my head buried in someone's shoulder for almost all of Ring2 and I had nightmares following screaming out loud (the only idiot to do so in the cinema, I might add) during the Village
Been kicked out of the mall:
At closing time?
Been mean to someone then instantly wanted to take it back:
Been given a detention on the worst day that you could get one:
Done something stupid when you were drunk:
Fell off your roof:
If I did that I'd die, the terraces in Tooting aren't really built for it
Pretended you were scared so you could cuddle up with someone:
Um, maybe…
Had a deer jump in front of your car:
I don't drive but the car infront of my dad did run over a young hog (what is the equivalent of piglet for wild hogs/boars?!?)
Threated someone with a water gun:
I have a water gun in my cupboard in the kitchen, for emergencies, clearly

That was fun, I should do more of these, but I am now out of boredom food – back to the kitchen!! x x

March 23, 2006


Yesterday was my 21st birthday and it was super. I was woken up at 6.30 by my mother singing "Happy Birthday", which, for those of you who haven't heard my mother singing before, is an interesting way to wake up. I then had presents to open at breakfast including pretty things like a treble clef brooch from my brother that is just gorgeous, its silver with marcasite in it – to die for – and a promise from my parents to pay for me to pass my driving test, partly because it's what I really, really wanted and partly because they're fed up of giving me lifts places when I'm at home.

Then I went back to bed because it was wasn't even 8am yet. Stupid time to be up on any day but especially my birthday.

But my aunt came round and woke me up (Grrr) but she gave me more pretty things – an incredible morano glass necklace and bracelet and a mulberry purse – so I forgave her. After that I made my brother drive me over to my Nan's to show her everything I'd got and thank her for the large amount of money she'd given me and then I had a lovely meal with my family. It was lovely. Even the call from Lorna, who was (seemingly) surrounded by drunk people, was lovely. Everything was, surprisingly, lovely.

Today it's all over, baking cakes for my shin-dig tomorrow, receiving texts from people who forgot (including my old best friend – bitch) and moving all my stuff into my new purse (no space for a condom – stupid stupid stupid) so I'm sat in my pyjamas watching the commonwealth games and blogging to my hearts content. Lovely.

Amazingly I don't feel any different today, even though I'm old and wrinkly now…

March 11, 2006

Time wastey thingy from Lorna's blog

1. I need some: Alcohol, junk food and all things bad for me

2. Sex: I vaguely remember what that's like…damned hormones

3. Relationships: Are the most important thing a person can have

4. Your Last Ex: Is asleep downstairs :)

5. Power: I'm a woman, a red-head and a williams, you're preaching to the choir

6. Marijuana: Smells a lot

7. Crack: Is more-ish

8. Food: Is fucking awesome, seriously, could eat myself to death

9. The President: Is on a mission from God…apparently…(if someone else said that and killed as many people they'd be locked up)

10. War: Is a frightful business and I hope never to be affected by it directly

11. Car: I know what I want and I know how to get it – soon….

12. Gas Prices: Are indeed ridiculous

13. Halloween: Is a great excuse for me to dust off the goth clothes and march around looking pale and incredibly sexy and leave black make-up on everything :D

14. Politics: Can be interesting but can be awful

15. Religion: Is a waste of time 99% of the time

16. myspace: Is something my brother wastes his time on, promoting his band, I think

17. Worst Fear: Knives/Spiders

18. Marriage: Is great provided you don't go crazy and go getting engaged at 16 :S

19. Fashion: Can be useful, but generally not designed for slightly bumpy pale red-heads with long legs

20. Brunettes: See below


22: Work: I would like some, or just some money without having to do the work thing

23: Pass the time: Sleep, Economics, Maths, Listening to music

24: Football: Is a silly sport. End of.

25. One night stands: Are terrible. End of.

26: Pet Peeve: People who have the ability to be smart but choose not to

27: Pixie Stix: Aren't they those straws full of sherbet?

28: Vanilla Ice: Is silly. End of.

29: Porta Potties: Are the gateways to hell, especially at festivals. And yet, they are also the most wonderful things at 3am in the middle of a cold muddy field

30: High school: Was a wonderful place, although the uniform was a bit crappy

31: Pyjamas: Are the best thing in the history of the world, I am currently sat in mine, which consist of comfy baggy trousers and a British Bulldogs game shirt with no. 75 on it :D

32. Wood: Same as Lorna I'm afraid, so filthy

33. Surfers: Can be cute and ARE NOT ALL STUPID!!!!

34. Pictures: Preserve memories.

35. boyfriend/girlfriend: Andrew Smith, who is wonderful, very understanding, sexy, loving and one of the most amazing people anyone will ever meet.

March 08, 2006


There is something about March that makes me feel decidedly glum. I was born in March and that in itself should make me somewhat happy and excited. However, it does not. March is glum. I was in all day today (officially did not leave the house, not even to go to the shops) and I had my massive curtains open all day to my wonderful view of my nice large garden. But all day I had to have the light on because it was so dreary I couldn't work with the light from the window.

How depressing is that?

Anyone who says that the weather doesn't affect people is a bare faced liar. Or they might just live in a box and think that it's always sunny. That would work.

So anyway, I can't deal with summer because I'm allergic to it and spring showers and gloomy skies depress me so I think I should just hibernate from February to September, but then I'd miss all my finals….this is becoming a better idea by the second…..

February 17, 2006

Busy busy Ellie

I haven't blogged in forever and as I have a shite load of work and I'm running out of expensive belgian chocolates (fucking awesome boyfriend of mine) in order to procrastinate further I thought I'd post on my own blog instead of commenting on everyone else's…

There's lots of things on my mind at the moment:

  • degree (this is a biggie)
  • PGCE application (not doing much at the moment)
  • possibly getting a job next year
  • my grandparents being on death's door
  • Orpheus (not much to worry about but something that needs doing)
  • finding the money for tour
  • finding the money for driving lessons
  • finding the money for a car
  • finding the money for Geordie's 30th birthday present
  • finding the money for the Bulldogs tour to LA
    (noticing a theme here….?)

Ok, so the long and the short of it is at the moment I have a lot to do. The only problem is I have precisely no motivation anymore. I really hate it because when I'm inspired by something, hell, even someone I'll go to the ends of the earth and I'll do whatever's necessary and I can do so much stuff without feeling put out. (That's a terrible sentence, just ignore it) I just don't feel like the maths I'm doing at the moment with the exception of one module and the production I'm in is rapidly becoming a blight on my life. I felt really inspired at the beginning. I literally hopped, skipped and jumped into the role and into the cast but now it's all a bit shite with the exception of the cast social life, which is the best partying I've done since I got to uni.

So instead of working my arse off to get the seminar work and assignment done before next week when I have show stuff to be done I'm sat here blogging and watching deal or no deal, which, is the best show ever

Plus, I'm really worried about next year. Seriously, what the hell am I doing? I have the mental age of 12, I can't be responsible and get a job and stuff. I'm dating a guy with a kid for fucks sake. How fucking petrifying is that? I'm having one of those days where the next year is stressing me and I feel like running out of the door and down Tachbrook Road and getting a train home to my mummy and never leaving home ever ever again. I'm really happy with Geordie, don't get me wrong. (For those of you who were unaware he had a kid he has the cutest looking cheeky 4 year old son in the world with big blue eyes - so booful!) I'd like to think that next year whatever I'm doing I'll be with him, here in the midlands where I'm enjoying life and it's not too far from my beloved London. It's all a bit up in the air but people are growing up around me and it's so fucking petrifying. My mate Dan's gf is expecting at any moment, I have 2 married friends, Lorna just got a new job and all that jazz, it's all a bit frightening. The thing is, my parents got married at 22 and I always thought that by the time I was 25/26 I'd be married and with a job and thinking about kids (because I don't want to leave it quite as late as my parents) but FUCK ME - thats like 5 years away!!!! (Apologies for the multiple !'s, I know it's naff but it's entirely called for)

So yeah, does anyone by any chance have some spare Valium on them?

January 27, 2006

Abusing the follow up…

Follow-up to fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck from My mind and other oddities...

About 5 mins ago the Captain of the AF team posted on the forum that the game this sunday is at home so I am now officially less stressed as that removes one of my 27 1/2 reasons for being stressed at the moment. I could edit the last post but it was the calmed down version of such a fantastic tirade of fury and tears that I rather fancy leaving it there.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck

Follow-up to Bad day from My mind and other oddities...

I love singing, don't get me wrong, but now I'm just pissed off. I'm missing the one thing that I was looking forward to all fucking term basically as a favour for some wonderful people and it's not even my "thing" and now when I ask for a break I can't fucking have one. I am so fucking pissed off right now, for anyone who's going to see me, don't talk to me, there's a great chance I might either kill you or cry and snot all over your shoulders.