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January 07, 2006


I am very touched and moved by all the kind and encouraging comments. Many thanks..
For the new year… I have decided to relocate to a new blog… link
Till I pop in WB again…

December 30, 2005

The End

I have been hesitating for a very long time. I receive an e-mail which has made me decide to stop blogging. As I write this tears well in my eyes. Why is there so much hatred in people.
I am shocked and very shocked. To receive the e-mail below:

A new comment was posted on your entry: 'Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer'

Name:Mathew Mannion


Fuck you Pee Lee. Go fuck your fucking nigger family. Why do you all have fucked up eyes? huh you fucking chinese dickhead. I didn't know that you could had such a sick name as "Pee" but you know, down in your fucking nigger country your name can be anything right? oh and your family looks like a cheap bunch of whores. I bet your mom owns one of those stores where you can rent a whore as your wife for free, all you have to do is to feed her with food and sperm, and she will be yours forever. or at least until your out of money. Fucking whore. So please tell your slutty whore mom that im gonna rent her for a gangbang with me and all my mates. Fucking bukkake whore!

To the person who sent me this. My name is not Pee. It is Pei. Go get your eyes checked for blindness. And shame on you for insulting someone else's mother. I feel sad for you mum for having a bastard son like you. There is a proverb that says insulting others mum is insulting your own mum. To me all mothers are amazing because they have to endure the worst pain in the world to bring a baby into the world. Insult me all you want but don't you ever insult my mother! I might be Malaysian Chinese but I am proud of my roots and my country.

Goodbye Warwick Blogs. It has been so much fun having a blog but things are getting too personal. Many things bloggable but not suitable. For now I shall disappear into my Real World…

Au revoir..

December 22, 2005

Away In A Manger

It is nice to be away from Coventry for a while.
It is nice to be suprised with a cake by my lovely cousin when I arrived at Eggham.
It is nice to do the touristy thingy in London again.
It is nice to let my breath be taken away by the view of London from the top of the London Tower Bridge.
It is nice to sit and admire the works of Van Gogh and Monet at the National Gallery.
It is nice to sit in the train and wonder what kinda life lies behind those strangers sharing the train.
It is nice to be at Harods even though I can afford to buy nothing there.
It is nice to walk around beautiful Windsor and joke about the Royals.
It is nice to take a break from all the work and trying not to worry about the stressful time after Christmas when I will be rushing to finish my assignments.
It is nice to laugh it off with my brother about the past, present and future.
It is nice to see couples walk along the River Thames and wishfully hope that one day I will too.
Actually it is quite nice to be single, to be able to enjoy certain things in life that otherwise I would not have noticed.

December 20, 2005

Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer

The plan yesterday was to go do the touristy thing in Coventry since my brother and I will be heading down to London today and I have been so busy nerding that I have not had the chance to show him around here. Before going to the bus stop we decided to take some pics of the beautiful Warwick Uni. ZS then wanted to go play piano for the last time. As we were going to head off to town, he complained that his nose really hurt and he felt really sick. So we aborted our plan to go to town and head back to Claycroft. I decided to make some hot drink for him. When I went to the kitchen…

I am very touched that all you lovely people woke up so early to prepare a traditional birthday breakfast for me, with red eggs and noodles. Thank you all you wonderful people of Flat 27. I heave a sigh of relief that my brother's nose is ok, he only collaborated with the rest to suprise me.

After breakfast we watched some animal talking movies on BBC. Then, head off to Coventry and ate again at Wetherspoons. Walked around a bit then head off to market to get food.

Diner with everyone. It was really cosy dinner with the few friends that really mean a lot to me.

Thanks for all the presents, cards, phone calls, text messages, e-cards etc. I am very touched. It is always at birthday time, you realise that you are much loved and feel truly blessed. Thats how I feel anyway.
Sorry to you guys who have been checking this site but no updates from me for a while. I have been an absolute nerd since coming back. My brain don't seem to be working very well though I try very hard to try to do my assignments. The 2 happening thing I did was going to LCGC concert, which was awesome ( Thanks Ali for getting the tickets.) and also having the last 2005 potluck. Thanks for all the good food! Special mention that Stella made home made profiteros! Home made!!! She is unbelieaveble! I can't find the profiteros pic that I took but they were yummy. It was combo diner with Spanish rice, my bro's chicken soup, Joanne and Fel's meat dishes. Looking forward for more potlucks next year. Did I mention I received 3 cook books as presents! ZS said that it is because everyone is probably hinting how awful cook I am and that I should start following recipes strictly and stop torturing my friends. Hmmm… anyway, I can't wait to torture them again with my food when I come back next year!
Going off to London soon! Very excited to see my cousins again. Have a good holiday and a very blessed Christmas everyone.
A big hug from me to you all.

December 14, 2005

Hark The Herald

I know it is not my brithday yet but I already got 2 presents and loads of cards from all you wonderful people. My lil brother got me a very cool glass earings. And look what my angel sister gave me…

A very sophisticated looking baking set. And she baked me a pineapple pie! Plus the hand made card. Merci beaucoup Stella.
I was going to suprise her by giving her her present in advance before she goes off to London but she beat me to it by suprising me before I got to suprise her. I was truly suprised and very touched. I like the gift very much. Many million thanks Stella!

Worked for The Constant Gardener just now. It is quite a long movie. Thought provoking movie indeed. The story might be fiction but I guess it is true that the world is controlled by the rich and powerful which causes much oppression and injustice to the poor and the weak.

O Come All Ye Faithful

Yes I am back from the amazing Italy.
Exhausted. Foot sore with blisters all over because of all the walking and the rain did not help as I kept stepping into puddles. It is only 8am. I can't sleep anymore even though I am really tired. I think my brain is conditioned to wake up early now. Have been waking up early to get good photos as the sun sets at about 4ish. I now walk like a Duracell battery rabbit. I never thought I could walk so much! We walked most of the time and hardly took any public transport in Italy except for the water bus in Venice. I still can't quite believe how I walked from one end of the city to the other, how I climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa, St Peter's Bassilica, the Duomo in Florence…

Our first stop Venezia..
Venice which is my favourite.It is not smelly at all and I am glad I saw it before it sinks. It feels very old world. It is a special city in itself with little streets and no roads or motorways, only canals. Oh ya and loads of 'ponte' ( bridges). We also spent half a day at the island of Murano, nothing much there but it was quieter than Venice which was bustling with tourists.

Next up is Firenze @ Florence. It took a while for me to get used to crossing busy streets. I really missed the peacefulness of Venice where there is no cars and all you hear is the gentle flow of the waters in the canals.
But Florence is a must visit for people who love art. We saw the real David and the 2 fake ones. Je te presente Monsieur David…

The pic above is the fake one which we can see for free. The real one is ten times glorious. Not allowed to take pics in the Galleria D'Academia though.I always read and hear about him. Finally I get to see him. I never understood all the hype until I saw him. I bow in admiration to Michelangelo. Went to a couple of museums but my favourite is still Raphael's angels. Had diner at an award winning Oysteria at the other side of the River Arno. ZS had 'bambi' ( deer meet as the waitress described it ) with home made spaggeti and I had a very nice mussel soup. The crostini ( bread with load of cheese on top) was really yummy too. The food is really good and reasonably priced too. The view from the other side from Piazza Michelangelo took my breath away..

Took the train for half a day at Pisa. Saw Leaning Tower of Pisa. Climbed to the second most top level and was in awe and busy taking pictures. When I wanted to climb to the very top. People on top were busy coming down so I had to wait for them to come down because there was only one narrow stairs leading to it. Finally when I wanted to climb up, the guide shouted at me ' Time is Over!' What the hell!! I was only a few stairs away from the top!

More of Pisa….

Our final destination.. Roma.
Walked for almost 1 hour from our hostel to Vatican City.
It was amazing to attend Sunday mass at St Peter's. We also got a glimpse of Pope Benedict XVI when he appeared at his window to say the weekly Angelus. There were so many people there. I never saw such a big crowd all my life. I could feel joy in everyone there. After the Angelus, everyone started singing Alleluia in Italian. It was so beautiful that I can't stop the tears from my eyes.

I love these trees along the Tiber River..

It was raining but we went still made it to The Colloseum. I hate to imagine the Barbaric Sports the Romans love so much.


Trevvi Fountain..

We visited the Vatican Museum. The Last Judgement by Michelangelo in Sistene Chapel was unbelievable. It is the work of a genius. The painting felt 3D like they were going to pop up. The view from the Cuppola ( Dome) after a breathless climb to the top..

After loads of walking, with loads of pizzas, gelato(s) , paninis , risoto and pasta, the much look forward trip has come to an end. It feels good yesterday to come back here. Thank you Shu for making me and my bro diner. Seems like ages I had rice and I have been craving for it.

I am grateful to God for making this trip happen. It has been so unbelievable. I realised that God has a time for everything. He planned everything so beautifully and All we have to do is trust Him. Somehow there was mass almost everytime we enter a church.I felt very touched by His grace. Loads of concerned family and friends have warned me about pick pockets in Rome but I felt really safe walking around Rome, even at night. Perhaps there was an angel watching after us when we were travelling.

This trip would not have been the same without my lil brother. He always made sure we have enough water. He was always a comfort when we got lost in the streets. He makes me laugh when the rain gets me down.
Grazie and God bless you always.

December 05, 2005

Little Drummer Boy

I remember when I was little, my brother loves to drum the tables with his hands just to annoy everyone at home. I guess he has always had a musician soul in him. When he got older, I taught him to play the piano, until he got better than me and started playing organ for church. I always felt so proud to see him there making beautiful music in church.

It is really nice to have him here this holiday. It is amazing To know how much he has grown… To know that he has such strong faith and love for God… To know that even though he has grown and is no longer the little kid brother that I used to bully, some things will always remain the same… like the smile he brings to my face, and the little little things he does to warm my heart. I really look forward to travel Italy with him tommorow. It is like a dream come true. I was inspired when Edwin ( ex-badminton first team captain) told me he backpacked Europe with his sister before she graduated. I had always wished that one day I could do that too. Dreams do come true !

Had diner with my dear sister Stella yesterday and she gave me a card made from ang pow (Red Packet). I had to control myself from not crying when I saw the prayer inside – Priere Avant De Voyager ( Prayer Before Travel).

Then today, Shu gave me fruits to eat when I travel tommorow. Joanne just drop in and she kindly loaned me her camera's 256Mb memory card which will allow me to take more pics than my 64Mb card.

I feel so blessed. Thank you Jesus for thy loving grace here on earth. Guide me and my brother in our travels in Italy. Continue to shower Your Love upon my family and friends. This Lord I pray. Amen.

December 04, 2005

Deck The Halls

Flat Xmas Party..
Share some 'crackers' jokes before the pics. Fel's cracker joke:

Q: Why is it that Robots don't have brothers?
A: Because they all have transistors.

Oh and I love Joanne's 'papaya' joke but not sure if it is ok to publish it here for copyright reasons.

The gals…

The food..

All of us..

My last xmas diner in Warwick. Can still remember my first one was with the lovely people of AV 2 that I wish I had had the chance to get to know better. Last year was with my housemates in Coventry. We ended up watchin LOTR.

This year is really special, I get to spend it with a group of friends that are very special to me. I love you all very, very much. It was a very cosy diner even though it was a big group. I always felt out of place in big groups but yesterday I felt so at home. There was hell a lot of food. All made with lotsa Love which made them all tasted so good.

Head hurts from the trip down to Wales, must be the Welsh beer taking effect now. The scenery on the train was so beautiful. Was mad that the train to Birmingham was delayed and I missed my train to Cardiff. I had to wait one hour for the next train.

But when I got home, I saw the news about the death of the two young girls knocked down by the train somewhere near Birmingham which probably caused the delay, I felt numb for a moment.

I thought to myself; at that time when I was mad that I missed the train, there are people out there who lost someone precious to them.

Missing the train seem all so insignificant. I missed the bloody train but my brother was there with me. I will always remember today and remind myself to be more mindful of my emotions.

My deepest condolences to the family of the girls. I pray that they are resting in heavenly peace.

December 01, 2005

Santa Clause is Coming To Town

Yes Brother Santa is here..
Look what he brought me..

Almost 20 kg of food!! I am not going to starve this winter.

Kuala Lumpur landed 16.33.

My heart skipped when I saw that on the screen.

Thank you Lord for the smooth plane flight. Thank you Lord for blessing me everyday. Thank you Jesus for your Love for me. Amen.

November 29, 2005

All I Want For Christmas

They took my breath away…
Hearing and seeing them sing just now took my breath away…
Yes they were that awesome…
Because they are Warwick Revelation Rock Gospel Choir!
To everyone in Warwick, do do go see them sing at the Coventry Cathedral tommorow evening!

My brother asked me on the phone just now if I wanted anything for Christmas/Birthday. I said 'Don't need lah.' and he said 'ok good.' Then he laugh and said that he really didn't get me anything. Don't know why I find this conversation amusing. Can't wait to see him tommorow.

Some other things that amuse me… I have been calling this guy at church the wrong name the whole of this term. And he never told me that I am wrong. I even introduced him with the wrong name to another friend. Now I am wondering if I should call him by his real name or the wrong name the next time I see him at church. oh the dillemma..

Another thing that amused me.. I found pockets in my pink coat today. I always hated the coat because there is no pockets. The pockets were actually sewn. So I had to rip it off. According to Ef, it is to prevent people from throwing rubbish into it at the shops.

I am sorry to crap about these craps. I am just trying not to get back to scary work. I think my brain has frozen, I can't read, I can't think, which means I can't seem to get on with work. This is not good, I need to work! But screw work for now…

Let It Snow

I love it when it snows. It is so pretty and magical. Just like I love the smell of rain at home.

The snow complimented the carol service at the chaplaincy yesterday. The chorus was so good but because it was slow, plus I was cold, tired and hungry, I tried not to nod off to slumber. I guess I am just too tired from all the work that I have been trying to do. The malt wine after the service did wake me up for a while but I just had to sleep when I got back to my room. Thankfully my cousin called me to wake me up. Otherwise, God knows how long I will be sleeping. So I woke up and realised I was hungry again!

Last week of term already. How fast has this term fly by. I have been so busy working this term. I really look forward to seeing my bro tommorow. I don't know if it is with all brothers but this little brother of mine always makes me laugh.

Other stuffs to look forward to. Seeing my brother tommorow. Flat xmas party on Friday. Going to Wales on Saturday. Laughing it off with my brother at every other little thing,that other people find it hard to understand what is so funny about every little thing. Off to Italy on Tuesday! I always wanted to see Italy, it is like a dream come true. Then back to Cov for LCGC concert. All nighter anime watching with my brother. Head down south to my cousins' home for xmas. Do some touristy thingy in London. Go on road trips with my cousins.

oooh.. I am so excited!! Trying not to think when I should squeeze in my 4 assignments for the hols. 3 essays and 1 book review! Will sit down to figure it now, or else I am screwed. I need to focus and get it done somehow.

But other than the annoyingness of work, life is awesomely awesome!

November 28, 2005


I can only say I have been very lucky. I don't have that many friends but the few that I have are really precious to me.
I used to tell my friends everything but I guess after some bad experiences with friends, I no longer trust friends as much as I would like to. It is just my nature to share joy and keep my sorrows.
As for friends telling me stuffs, I normally won't bug them to tell me if they don't. But I would love of course to hear from them. And if I ever bug you to tell me stuffs, it is because I truly regard you as a close friend. Otherwise why would I be bothered.
Friends come and go in my life. Some more special than others. I have had so many close friends who enter my life briefly. I felt so sad when I had to part with them. There was even a point in my life that I thought perhaps I should not put so much into friendships because at the end of the day, it is the inevitable parting which pains my heart.
I told this to a friend I met last year and she told me something so beautiful. She said 'Perhaps it is God's way of telling you that everything in life is so impermanent.'
I also realised that God was there for me through my most painful moments in my life. He was always there in me,giving me strength.
I gave up on friends because I lost faith in them. But God just keep sending amazing friends into my life. As if He is asking me not to give up on frienships just because of nasty experiences.And I feel that indeed I am learning once more to embrace friendships and open my heart to trust friends just like before.
Friends are people who love you for the real you that you are.
I am grateful to be surrounded by these people who loves me just for the me that I am.

November 27, 2005

Goblet of Fire

Watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire tonight. It was a fun nite out with my flat mates. Satisfied our cravings for fast food after watching Supersize Me a few weeks ago. We had diner at Mc Donalds. It wasn't that satisfying actually.
What I think of the movie? I thought the child actors and actresses have all grown up and can act so much better now. The movie was actually much better than I had expected. The previous movies were such disappointment. I guess movies almost always never do justice to the books. Many parts were not included. And I thought Hermionee straightened her hair for the Yule Ball. How can they forget about that. Victor Krum and Fleur were not what I had imagined them to be. Some parts were cheesier than the books. Gosh, am I being over critical? I guess it is because Goblet of Fire is my fave book of all the Harry Potter books.
I remember the first time I saw my younger cousins reading the first Harry Potter book, I just thought to myself that it really is not my kinda book. It probably is very kiddish. But then I started reading and I was hooked and had to get my own copy of the book. The recent books have not met my expectations but I sure look forward to read the last book soon. And yes I do think Snape is a good guy and that Albus Dumbledore has a horocroux somewhere. The latter will probably come alive again like Gandalf in LOTR. It is a bit disappointing that the story line in the last book seem to have so much simmilarities to LOTR. The uniqueness of it all when it first started seem to be slowly losing some of its magical powers on me. But in spite of all these rants, I still love reading the books and hope JK Rowling will come up with an ending to remember for all of us !

November 26, 2005

Its Friday Night

Went to Pure with Stella and Fel.
It has been a long time since the last time.
I guess I am not much of a Party Girl. I am just a small town girl. There aren't any clubs around my lil town. ( Maybe they have now.) I can count the number of times I have been out with all my fngers, no need even to use my toes.

It is my first Pure. The only other Student Unions event that I have been are Top B, Latin Nite and Metropolitan. That was like in my first year. My fave is still Latin Nite, which my best friend, Grace and I had such a wicked time. It was unforgetable night. Top B is too cheesy. I think Ikon in Coventry is much,much better though. I only went there like at the end of every term in my first year with my AV flatmates.

I didn't go for any last year. As for Pure, it was actually pretty awesome. I think the company made it more fun. Thank you thank you very much for the company my dear friends. You gals rock the night and you all were awesome !!

Picture have to copy from Stella and Fel … gonna do that tommorow.. its time to get some sleep…


Girls nite out..

November 24, 2005

Jumbo Diner

The chefs..

The food..

And more food…

There are times when I wish I have someone special to be with but then I realised that God has made this time now for me to spend it with friends instead of just one special person. God made time for everything so beautifully. I don't know why some people give me the weird look when I say I am single and not searching. When the time is right it comes and if it doesn't then thats just life. When it comes and I feel it is right I shall embrace it. For now, I thank God for giving me time to learn more about myself, to learn to Love myself, the people around me, and more importantly to learn to love and trust Him with all my heart.

November 23, 2005

A Paradox

I realize that I am the most uncompetitive person. Played badminton today, I feel really stress playing today. There seem to be expectation. Expectation so high that I fear I am not up to it. I kept missing my shots today. I played really badly today. I am not sure if I did the right thing by putting myself into a commitment to play the mixed tournaments next term. I feel like backing out. I love playing but I can’t play competitively I get nervous and scared. I am just not a competitive person. I don’t care about winning or losing but yet I want to do well, and not let whoever I play with down by not trying hard enough
As I rode my bike back home, I thought of a long time ago conversation I had with an old friend. Life is really ironic. It is a paradox. The person you like almost always seem so far and distant. On the other hand you don’t really like the person who likes you.
How many people would actually wait? And how many would actually just take the easier way and be loved instead of to love? Is it fair to be loved more and not to love as much in return?
Life is never as straight forward as it should be.

November 22, 2005

Here I Am

I the Lord of sea and sky
I have heard my people cry
I will dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save
I have made the stars and night
I will make the darkness bright
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I sent?

I will break the hearts of stone
Yearn them hearts with love alone
I will speak my word to them
Whom shall I sent?

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart

I the Lord of wind and flame
I will tend the poor and lame
I will set a feast for them
My hand will save
Find this bread I will provide
Till their hearts be satisfied
I will give my life to them
Whom shall I sent?

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart.

La vie est une hymne, chante-le.

One of my fave hymns... Je l'aime..

November 21, 2005

The End Is Near

I am so happy that it is week 9 and looking forward to see my dearest lil brother next Wednesday.

Never mind that I screwed up my French test. It is over.

Had an awesome weekend. My weekend in pics…

Another potluck on Friday. It was hillarious seeing Stella and Daffy trying to mimic each other.
Chris came to see Fel. It was nice to see him too, he is one of the nicest people I know. Saw Mus too though briefly. He probably had a hard time making sure he sees everyone during his short visit.
Je me suis bien amuse!

And Sunday Stella kindly made me diner again!

J'adore des pates.

I tried to make egg tarts again after a really long break. I still can't get the pastry to be flaky like the ones we get in shops. Pourquoi ? Maybe it is the flour or the egg. I shall not give up. I will try again to get the pastry right.

La vie est une beatitude, savoure-la.

November 20, 2005

Plain and Simple

"...God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves very complicated." – Ec 7:29

November 19, 2005


I breathe and I breathe…
The heart beats with the rhythm of my pace…
The birds sing with the drumming of my heart…
But I felt nothing to the music that I hear.

I ran and I ran…
The cold wind against me as I speed…
The sun’s rays felt warm on my face…
Yet I felt nothing but numb.