I would like to coin a new deffinition of a word.
Woodpecker: n, A foul up, mess or general misfortune of the slightly humourous variety. See also, SNAFU, FUBAR.
This comes from a story I heard on Home Truths on Radio 4 ages ago, when John Peel was still presenting it.
The story went like this: Two new parents have a small child of about 2 years old, still learning to talk etc. Suddenly, one day, small child starts coming out with the phrase “ooh bugger.” Parents devastated, shocked, accusations and pointed fingers fly over who has been swearing in front of small child. Until parents suddenly notice that small child is actually pointing at a porcelain figurine on the mantelpiece of, you guessed it, a woodpecker. Small child was intending to say “woodpecker” but being only small could only mannage “oohbugger”. Hilarity ensued.
I am therefore determined to use the term “a woodpecker” to describe some sort of accident that might elicit the phrase used by said small child.
Such as, for example, this morning when I confused my Monday and Wednesday Shakespeare lectures, and arrived at the lecture theatre at 2, only to find the lecture was at 1.