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Stuff To Keep My Eye On » Michael - Dutiful Bandsaw

July 04, 2006

Why not?

Writing about web page /creay/entry/end_of_uni/

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

Best day: Hard to think of one as most of my really good evenings have had crappy mornings and vice versa.

Worst day: Another hard one. Pick pretty much any day in July 2005.

Best decision: Signing up for counselling

Worst mistake: Russian for Scientists II

Craziest on–campus antic: Sure there were plenty, but I was too drunk to remember them clearly

Favourite place on campus: Probably Social Studies before they started all of the building work. I used to go for a walk and sit there for a bit many nights in my first year.

Most painful experience: Wasn't the most painful at the time, but in terms of residual scarring due to lack of closure, I'd have to say when Hannah and I split.

Favourite lecturers: Any of them that kept me awake

Worst lecturer: Bit of a toss–up between MacKay, Reid and Mond

Biggest waste of time: Going to lectures for modules that I later dropped

Most valuable use of time: Music stuff. Took up one hell of a lot of time, but worth it.

Shortest time between beginning an assignment and handing it in: 40mins.

Average time spent awake during a one–hour lecture: about 45mins

Number of Pub Jogs completed: none. Was gonna do one, but decided moving was too much effort to drank the equivalent drinks in just one place.

Number of times drunk: lost count

Number of exams sat: Can't be bothered to count. About 30–35.

Number of times expelled from Students Union: None, but I was once asked by a member of staff to consider going home.

Cars crashed: 0

Cars owned: 0

Friends for life: Hopefully some.

Best Friends: Oli, I guess. I'm a bit too much of a floater to gather a proper "best friends" group.

Girlfriends: 1


October 18, 2005

Sam's alphamambet

Writing about New Alphabet from The Drunk Drummer

A: The most Audacious thing you’ve ever done

I once ran down the street wearing nothing but a shirt chasing after a woman just because I thought she was pretty

B: Favourite Badger joke

They're all good

C: Favourite Curry

I like to vary it a bit. Jalfrezi is always good.

D: Number of drinks it takes to get utterly Drunk

I always used to expect the hips to come into play at about 4½

E: Your most Effeminate characteristic

You have met me, right…

F: The last thing that you got for Free

I got a big shiny parcel – it's a birthday present and I haven't opened it yet

G: Number of times that you’ve visited a Gym

4

H: Where you call Home

I suppose Leam, as Oxfordshire is home home.

I: (leaving things open for dodgy minds…) Any Instruments that you play

Tuba. Also got a kazoo somewhere

J: (and again…) Favourite Juice

Grape, apple and raspberry

K: Song that you would sing Karaoke to

Don't like singing.

L: Number of times you’ve Laminated – and if you’ve achieved your laminating qualifications from the MC Office yet

Lost count. Former Librarian, thus well and truly laminator qualified.

M: (As seen on the BBC News website:) How much Money do you think you’d need to be happy?

If money can make me happy…

N: Favourite Naan to have with aforementioned curry

Garlic

O: Your Oldest possession

Oldest as in one I've had the longest would be my monkey. Oldest as in oldest would probably be one of my books. My copy of Les Mis is pretty ancient.

P: Your worst Phobia

Snakes

Q: Something that makes you feel Queasy

For some reason, certain pieces of music have started making my stomach clench

R: Recent New Year Resolutions made, and how many still going

By recent you mean 10½ months ago? Well, about half of them have been completed and the other half broken.

S: Favourite Season

Early Autumn

T: Number of cups of Tea consumed per day (on average)

None. I do not drink tea. Perhaps an average of 1 bottle iced tea per 3 weeks.

U: The most Useful lesson you’ve ever learnt:

ALWAYS piss on the cat.

V: Number of Valentines cards received (either in your life or in the last year – depending on how popular you are!)

This year, 0. Total, about 4.

W: A film that can make you Weep

It's a wonderful life

X: Have you ever dyed your hair to become Xanthocomic (Blonde: link)

No

Y: Your Youngest memory (removed the yeti question now I’m afraid!)

Riding my bike round in circles on the back patio

Z: Favourite animal you could see in a Zoo

Wooly monkey


February 16, 2005

Curse you Denis Wright

Yesterday I realised that: Today is the first contest band rehearsal. I don't know my part. There was no way I was going to practice yesterday. I did not want to practice just before rehearsal. Wednesday is a busy day for me. The only time I could practice is before my 9:00 lecture, so I'd have to be on campus close to 8:00, so I'd have to wake up soon after 6:00. I need a lot of sleep. I would have to go to bed early

Result: go to bed at 6pm. Have a long, but broken, sleep. Wake up 5:45 [before my alarm], really not wanting to get up. Get up anyway. Shower, get dressed [It seems God is no longer talking to me through my socks as Wednesdays are orange, not green], eat an apple for breakfast [must go shopping]. Make it to the busstop in time for the 7:30. Write 2 under all the Gbs in the piece. Write 12 under the Fbs [WHY????]. Arrive on campus. Wrestle with the instrument store for a bit [I'm pretty sure I helped tidy it last week] until eventually I could get to the BBb. Practice [badly – mispitching EVERYTHING. Curse you playing Eb in WO]. Go to lecture. Nearly fall asleep [despite having nearly 12 hours sleep last night]. Avoid doing any work by going to computer room.


February 12, 2005

Today has been a Bad Day.

If you take today as starting at midnight, the main thoughts of today have been:

"that looks crap"
"why am I still up?"
"why did I wake up this early?"
"why did I lie in so late?"
"Ow! my finger!"
"Which idiot thought of a masked ball?"
"My foot is bleeding"
"Those were MY glasses you broke"
"Stupid fireplace! stubbing my toe"
"Every 10 minutes, my arse!"
"God, it's cold"
"0% chance of precipitation? I think not!"
"Why is my head so big?"
"I'm running really late"
"Bugger. Forgot to get lunch"
"I want to die"

On the plus side, Eggs Benedict is still great, and Kerrie is still my favouritest shop assistant in the world.


February 11, 2005

Delia smith never thought of THIS

Ingredients [entire food content of kitchen]:
½ packet diced chicken
½ packet mini-corn, asparagus & mange tout
rice
1 egg
Oil
1 Stock cube
Various spices

Method:
Cook rice in stock
Meanwhile, fry chicken in spices
Boil posh veg.
Put all on plate.
Top with fried egg [over-easy]
Garnish with black pepper.

OK, so it's not going to win any awards, but it's better than half the pre-packaged stuff you can get and shows that random stuff makes a good meal.


Today I'm in favour of…

Yes – the old cynical me has been replaced with a new procrastinating me. I'm even so lazy that I'm liking things instead of doing anything productive.

So the things that I'm liking are:

  • eggs benedict
  • lovely shop people who don't get impatient when I'm standing there like a stunned mullet, completely incapable of answering even the simplest questions

February 08, 2005

MSN

Back again. How I missed you.

Oh, God of pancakes…

Great Shrove, whom we commemorate this day, what have I done to anger you?
Why oh why cause both of my frying pans to lose their non-stick ability at this time?

Note to self: [another one]

When you go shopping, and your shopping list contains amoung other things champagne, tinned soup, fruit juice and apples, it might be a better idea to go to the closest supermarket.

February 07, 2005

Quiztastic

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

Hydra Banner
You're a hydra. You have many different outlooks on
life, and know how to utilize each one to make
the best of any situation. Others may mistake
this for hypocrisy or even insanity, but you
know yourself better than that. Indecision is
your greatest flaw. Your alignment tends
slightly towards evil.


What mythical beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Appearances

Today I was reminded again about self-image, looks, etc.
As expected [sorry to be sexist, but it's true], this issue was brought back to my attention by a female. I won't embarass them by naming names, but you know who you are – a true princess.

Obviously, these are my own thoughts on the subject. They may not represent the views of every person here. I know for a fact that my housemates prefer petite females and semi-goth chicks, neither of which is my idea of an ideal physical specimin. So what do I look for? Well, I like to hug people, thus I am attracted to those who are snuggletastic. If you can't hold someone in your arms and feel comfortable, what is the point?

I would like to point out that in every case where I have heard people expressing a desire to lose weight/diet weight is not an issue. Sure, these people aren't supermodel thin [thank God for that – I don't want to be scared of breaking someone every time I hug them] but are one hell of a long way from obese, or indeed remarkably overweight. So why the obsession with weight?

Well, it is clearly a self-image thing. I used to worry about my weight until I noticed that the times I was happiest I weighed 13 stone, while I generally weighed 12 stone when I was depressed. Although I still weigh myself every day, it's more of a reflex action, and I forget the reading even before I'm out of the bathroom. So when I weigh more, do I go "Oh no – I'm fat"? No. I say to myself "You weigh more because you are more muscular. Look at your rock hard buttocks!". It might seem superficial, but it's brought me through some difficult times. Please note, that anyone can and should do this. It really helps self esteem. Just find something about yourself that you like and say to yourself daily "I have (a) really nice bum/breasts/hair/dimples/scrotum/kneecaps/chin"

But surely only those less than perfect can have self image problems. Well, no. This is complete and utter bollocks. I'm reminded of someone I know [someone, I hasten to add, that I thought "Wow! She is one of the hottest people on this entire planet" about when I first saw her]. When I found out that she had had pretty serious self-image problems, I was torn. I didn't know whether to be all supportive, or go all "What the hell? I mean if you were just a little bit pretty I'd understand if you didn't notice, but there is no way that I'm willing to believe that you have no idea that you're hot"

Despite all that, I'm willing to admit that some people would not look less attractive if they lost a little around the waist. This is not the same as losing weight. More than the number of women with too much belly, is the number of women with too little up top. No, I don't mean breasts. Arms. Muscles. Yes, sexy women have muscles. Not body-builder type muscles, but a certain firmness. Flab - not all that sexy. Well toned body - very sexy. But get this: weight - more!! Yes, muscle weighs more than fat. THAT is why I hate the weight-based system. Because too many people think "I weigh too much – I should eat less" and not enough think "I weigh the right amount, but more of it should be muscle


February 06, 2005

Why I shouldn't be allowed to think

Even everyday conversations about mundane things such as the weather quickly turn.

Conversation start: "It was bloody cold last night"
Conversation end: "You could make a snow woman and have your way with her


Election results

Am I the only one who is suprised that they're not on the union website yet?
I wanna know who won all the little posts that no-one really cares about.

February 05, 2005

Monkey testicles

No, not the popular dish. Actually I'm a bit pissed off. I think I may be infected with spyware.

I had the same thing last year and managed to nuke it good, so I know what to expect from it this time. It's probably not going to be a problem finding and removing it. I'm just pissed off that it got on there in the first place. This little bugger gets in via internet explorer, and as I use Mozilla for everything except two websites [the union and multimap, neither of which work properly for me in mozilla] I didn't spot the effects until today, as it only fucks around with internet explorer. I think I'm gonna have to have a bit of a word with my house-mate. "When I said you could use my computer…


I am a man of many facets

Last night I watched the Opera Projects show [bloody good, guys!]
Tonight I am watching a wrestling match

February 04, 2005

Note to self:

1 – Use breasts to sell people into white slave trade?
2 – Do shopping
3 – "We're gonna need another Timmy" is from Dinosaurs
4 – Remember to buy more post-its

Voting

Follow-up to The upcoming elections from Michael - Dutiful Bandsaw

All voted except for one post – Science faculty rep. Sent off an e-mail saying that I am actually an undergraduate, attending this university, and doing a maths degree. Got a form e-mail back saying "go to union north and they'll sort it out". Would have been nice if I'd got this e-mail yesterday, soon after I sent my e-mail, or indeed this morning. Not after I come home on Friday afternoon.

Anyway, despite the large number of abstentions [if no-one tells who to vote for, obvioulsy that post is of so little importance to people that it doesn't matter who gets it] all done.

Congratulations to anyone who told me how to vote – you have cheated the system by getting two votes instead of one!


Thinking.

I am not, and never have been, a fast thinker. By my estimation and definition of thought, I have on average 1 thought every 9 seconds. Thus, by popular "statistics", 150% of my thinking is about sex. While I do have a one-track mind [more on this later], I'm thinking this calculation is a little off.

I think I'd better define what I mean by thought. I think in pictures. One thought=one mental image popping into my head. As one picture is worth 1000 words, the 8¾ second gap is used to try to transfer this picture into word form if it is deemed necessary. This isn't a thought. It's just thinking.

Anyway, back to my one-track mind. Now, most people think that having a one-track mind means that you're focussed purely on one thing. The designers of my track had a different philosophy: If we've only got one track, we better make sure that it goes everywhere. My only regret is that they did not decide to join up the stops in a logical order.


February 02, 2005

It appears that he's survived

Follow-up to Oli has been hospitalised from Michael - Dutiful Bandsaw

Oli has rung me from the hospital. He needs stitches but is otherwise OK

Oli has been hospitalised

That's right – My housemate, Oli has been packed off to Warwick hospital. This is due to me.

When he was brought home form Sugar just after 1, I was not in the mood to play silly buggers due to having poor sleeping patterns and an early start the next day. So despite being told to look after him, when he started trying to repeatedly kick me in the gonads I told him to fuck off and decided to leave him to his own devices. To be fair, I did listen to him go upstairs and start clumping around up there so I assumed that all was OK.

At about 1:15 I heard a very slow decending of the stairs. Well, half of the stairs. The other half were decended rather quickly. A bit too quickly. When I went to see what had happened, I found him with blood running down his face. Rather a lot of blood. Too much, by my reckoning. So I called for an ambulance [I am no longer a 999 virgin].

I suceeded in giving the details asked for. Suceeded in finding a clean cloth to hold against the wound. Did not suceed in trying to keep him still, as he suddenly made a break for his room, and I thought it better to let him get on with it, rather than try to pull him down the stairs.

Anyway, the nice ambulance people arrived and I told them what I could, and then they took him off to warwick hospital.