Favourite blogs for Dreams of Karl-ifornication

My favourites » Jodie's blog

February 16, 2006

Dissertational type problems! EEKkkkk!

Writing about web page http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A5925512

Doh! I'm well known for having a penchant for talking too much, but rarely am i able to write SO SO much!

Soon after devising a question 'Does the development of freestanding sculpture from the Archaic to the Hellenistic age reflect the social and political climate of the age?' It dawned on me that i'd have to ostracize the women from this essay (familiar story I know!) and concentrate only on the male figure. The worry that might limit me is now made obselete by the fact that I have managed to write 6,776 words on the Classical era alone, 11,459 in total so far with 103 footnotes among which I have not even added the ones for the figures 9over 50!)!!!!!!

Whats more i still have the largest chapter to write, the dreaded Hellenistic one, and also an intro and conclusion which will be at least 2,000 words!

Whichever way u add this up, whats blatantly obvious to me is that im gonna have to castrate and tear my baby limb from limb at some point – boohoooooooooo!

For now at least I have my beautiful boy as consolation to gaze at and seeing that the poor sod is already missing two arms and half a leg, hopefully I wont have to cut him down to size any more – no wonder he looks so glum!!!

kritios

I will determine to be inspired by the vid Eleanor pointed me to, where the guy squishes the 10 yr Odyssey in to 14.8 seconds! We live in hope!


February 15, 2006

Turkish stalker again….ahahahahahahaha!

God this is turning into a bit of a saga! Again, just when I thought all was clear on the stalker front, i get an e–valentines card!

val card

accompanies by the words: 'I will allways love you. Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every munite, every seconds… '

Today i got not 1 but THREE emails from him; this very colourful and frightfully large rendering of my name spelled wrong:

jodei

Apparently a pic of him as a kid in a football team:

him

…AAAnd a rather incoherent message, although i get the jist!

'I USED TO WANT TO SEE YOU CLOSELY,BUT ALL RIGHT , OH! ,OH!, I, YOU, FALL IN LOVE WITH, WHAT, DO, ALL RIGHT ,ALL RIGHT, WITH ME, GET MARRIED, SAY, THE ACCIDENT,BUT ,BUT, ME, DEFINITION, *BİLE, , I WITH YOU, ENGLAND, LIVE, WANT, '

HUH!!!!!!?????


February 13, 2006

Eastenders makes me wanna vom at the minute!

Is it just me or does the thought of Pat Butcher in a skipmy lil 'SEX KITTEN' nightie put you off ur dinner?! Did me, they are just two things that dnt go together, nice twist of irony tho! Ha ha! Scenes of Fatty Patty and poor Patrick romping are just not good viewing and the disgust was just topped off last friday with Pat seductively revolving her fat arse round to face him (cowering in her bed), con fag and con scaaaary makeup, and growled 'alright tiger, ready for round two?!'! He should run for his bloody life! Actually have to mute the telly when such scenes are playing! SICKO'S!!!!!!!!

Your views are welcomed!


January 16, 2006

Turkish stalker thinks i'm a mermaid, how cute???!

I should have said it, really shouldn't have! Last night I mentioned to friends that I havent heard from the stalker for ages, weeks of blissful happiness without him! Then today i got these from him:

The accompanying email did not say much apart from 'THIS, ENVISAGE, OFFICIAL, YOU' and something that I interpreted to be along the lines of 'but i don't know what eye colour you have so I could not draw these'!

Well it's an imporvement on the self harming and quite sweet I guess, and a nice pic to boot, guess he's at least worked out that scaring me is not the way to win my heart! Bless!


January 10, 2006

And just to prove my point…I ATTRACT WIERDO'S!!

Arrrrr… i am a wierdo magnet and there's nowt I can do about it!! For years my mum has always moaned about attracting wierdo's, wierd ppl chat to her about wierd stuff in the pub, wierd ppl stop and yell at her in the street…I just put that down to the wierd pubs she choses to drink at, where the hottest thing to do is the salvation army crossword, and Gosport in general!!

BUT NO, it seems it's genetic, I attract them too… First of all was an old guy from China who asked me out for a dirnk when i was 17 and working in Boots at the weekend, thought I tackled this by saying "NO, for one thing I am not old enough to drink, and two, I have a boyfriend". however this didn't deter him, he came into my new work last year and asked me how univeristy was at Warwick, and was I loving ancient history!! Worrying– as I hadn't even formed these thoughts when I was 17, let alone tell him about them!! He came in every other day last summer which resorted in me adopting a 'run and take cover' policy, running into the warehouse each time he came in till he must have become satified that I no longer worked there any more – HA, fooled him!

Then there was Turkish stalker who you all know about (lets have no more of that) and more recently, not so wierd but equally disturbing text messages from a friend's boyfriend which had to be dealt with!

And then last night, this one turned up as if to prove my point, I shall briefly recount the story…Dancing away in the cooler last night and felt a sharp poke in the side. This guy asked me to take a picture of him, nothing especially wierd about that but then when I waited for him to produce a phone, camera and possibly a friend to be in the picture he came up with none – he wanted me to take one of him, on my camera. Hmmm, so I did, whilst looking around for Eleanor who was seemingly oblivious to this. Then he wanted a pic of me, which was when I grabbed El to accompany me, nice pic as it turned out! Then he wanted one of me and him! I RAN AWAY!! Does anyone know who this man is bacause I certainly don't, maybe he wants this pic of him for some purpose, how would I know!!

Doh, this has got me worried now, I keep thinking why don't I attract nice people, or at the very least, SANE people, and guys, do I look like a wierdo magnet?!! (don't answer that!) One thing's for sure, this being single malarky is sure gonna have a hell of a lot of laughs/cringes along the way!!!!

Anyone have any anti–wierdo/stalker tactics, or nasty repellent of some kind?!


January 09, 2006

Ace Greek mark and Top B tonight, how could things be better?

Just a general blog today really, feeling a bit more on top of things lately, well this week, have been doing a lot of work, seem to have got that pesky Turk off my back and exercising has made me feel better!!

This term i'm feeling more on top of dissertation, which is a good thing, mainly owing to an excellent book, thank you Dr Hurwit, you are a star among stars and at least made attic art a little more interesting than it actually is, such vision is admired!! Got 87.5 in Grrek exam so feeling rather ace today and going to top b tonight where I hope i will have the pleasure of Bea's company for the first time in ages!! Yey!

On another note, I love my bedroom this yr, its has lots of pink things and pink fairy lights, glitter lamp etc, and a big fire place and candles. Im very proud of my room and its very cosy but i sent a pic of it to a friend yest and he said "Bloody Hell, that would even give a fairy a headache"! How rude, I love my room!!

Sorry to El in her dressing gown, well it's ur fault for not getting up till 7pm yest!!


January 06, 2006

Help needed with a misbehaving ipod!!

GRRRRRRR!!! Got a lovely shiny ipod for xams, well pleased – Not so much anymore! I have the installation disc and it works fine, until the point where it asks me to plug the ipod in, then nothing, absoloutely NOTHING!!!

Does anyone know why my computer wont recognise it? When I plug it in it says its charging, until I unplug it then the battery is dead as a doornail!! What pisses me off more is the fact that, plug it into El's computer and it works straight away – buggered if I can understand computers, just want to throw the damn thing out of the window right now, waste of 8 hours of my life trying to sort it out!!


January 03, 2006

Kind of quiet on the stalker front, apart from…

Well, since the last episode, its been pretty quiet lately, hoping he's just got the msg and nowt worse to do with knives and cutting arms!! He he, prob got septicaemia and serves him right!!

Although, did get a harmless but WIERD email two days ago, ill tell the story – Some of our friends lived above a kebab house last yr, thus, for ease, we named them the' kebab house girls' and I have in my galery a pic of them at sugar, so stalker emailed me to inform me that if you type 'Fresh meat' into google, my blog comes up with their pic, How uninteresting is that, they think uni students are lazy – Now THIS is a guy with too much time on his hands!!

I present to you, the kebab house girls, now to be found on google under greasy and minging – would u like chilli sauce with that?!

sorry gals, it is soooo not true and i will immediately re–categorise you as glamourous babes (hmm wondering what saddo's that would attract!), perhaps 'my lovely friends' would be safe enough!!


December 29, 2005

My Turkish Stalker is a self harmer!!

To use ur words Paul, WOW!!! I have nothing more to say about this disturbing matter in my latest email… apart from it's fucking JOD–I–E!!!!


December 19, 2005

Got myself locked in a cage!

I think you will all agree that only I could manage to lock myself in the cage that is our warehouse at work!! Thing is, one door has to be locked from the inside, one from outside, hence you have to walk through, locking as you go.

However, i didn't check and the door to be locked from the outside was already locked=entrapment – like a scared animal! Thing is, we have headphone sets for these instances, one person on the shop floor, one out back, so im there shouting 'Emma, Em, come in fluffy duck, do you hear me Em, I'm stuck, EEEEEMMMMM….' – the bimbo on the shop floor is only sporting her headset round her neck and couldnt hear me!!

So 9pm came and they assumed I'd gone home – no,no, still locked in the warehouse like a bloody chimp at London Zoo!! Gave myself up for dead at around 9pm, or at least began thinking about arranging clothes into a bed when i managed to shout someone over, but the first guy thought I was having a laugh and walked off – ha ha, very fcuking funny!!

Finally managed to get someone to believe me and let me out – I owe my life to that strange little Russian man who speaks hardly any English but managed to read my terrified expression.

So, I was let out – But not before a large crowd had gathered to take pics of the dinny blonde girl pleading to be set free – Bastards!! If I can get hold of them I will let u all laugh at my expense too!


December 15, 2005

My Turkish stalker misses me, ahhh….poor derranged freak!

…Despite NO correspondence from me, he misses me! Isn't that nice, and wierd – nothing surprises me with this guy, but at least this email entitled " IM SORRY" made half an ounce of sense!

"I SLEPT YESTERDAY, BEAUCE I WORKED HARD NIGHT ! WITH YOU, CORRESPOND, WIDTHNESS, BIG, PASSION…. IS MAKING HAPPY ME, I MISS YOU! THE WINTER CAME ANY MORE HERE, RAINY, ROMANTIC WEATHER"

Personally I don't find rain romantic, most of the time it just pisses me right off!

At this point I was thinking, maybe he's just a hopless romantic stuck in the body of a blithering idiot, but then he also sent me this today

WTF?!!!! Can anyone read Turkish, id be quite interested to know what this means??!!!!

AND THE FUCKER SPELLED MY NAME WRONG AGAIN!!


December 13, 2005

The Turkish stalker himself!!

Ha ha, shock horror, the stalker has finally stopped emailing pics of me to me and sent me one of him instead!! Dnt know whats scarier, the pics of me or this one of him!!

Is it me or has he added the war paint in graphics?!! Maybe the message he sent with the pic will ansewr this: "Hello JODEÝ
I COULD NOT SEE YOU OPEN! YOUR, LIKE, THINK, MUSIC! AND I ( WE APPEAR HARD THE MEN )"

Nope, makes no f*&%ing sense AT ALL!!!


December 12, 2005

My Brother drunkenly jumped out of his bedroom window!! Students – who'd have 'em!!

Unbelievable – got a phone call last night from my bro's friends saying he had got pissed and for some reason, jumped out of his window!! We phoned the hospital and he was a bit drowsy from the morphine but claims that his mates went out and thought he was out so locked the door from the outside. the only way out was through the window – does anyone else detect a hint of BULLSHIT!!??

He's now stuck in a hospital in Plymouth, perhaps for the duration of xmas with two shattered heels, gonna be in a wheelchair, and (hhe he) the funniest part is that he is in a non smoking hospital, I think that is paining him more than the feet!!


December 09, 2005

Turkish stalker strikes again!!

Ok, REALLY NOT FUNNY NOW!!

Jesus Christ, I locked all the photos on here that may incite stalkerish behaviour and blocked him from msn, but really, didn't think I would have to lock ones of me and my family on xmas day last yr!!!

So, today he sent me this:

He's and artist, but still, a lot of effort to take off one of my pics, draw it himself and email it to me!! Then, when I had'nt replied within 2 hours he sent me three separate emails, 1 said "JODEI LOVE", another said "YOU DEPRIVED" and the other (bless the guy!) "LOOK AT ITSELF GOOD BECAUSE YOU DON'T WRITE ANY MORE ! I LOVED YOU"

Not so worried anymore, whether or not he's got and filled in his visa forms, he doesnt know where I live (Hoping this is true) and doesn't have my bank details – Just thoroughly amused and would like to share the amusement with u guys – ENJOY!! xx


December 07, 2005

Taking full advantage of late night licences – a 12 hour stint!!

I have never been so shattered in my life, just had the most treacherous and reckless night of my life!! Went out with my friend Mel to Portsmouth, however, on getting there we realised there was a ship in so it was Matlo's 'r' Us, NOT GOOD!!

After having my pic taken with a wierd …(insert ur own interpretation of what exactly this Uni mascot is!) we decided to escape the clasps of the lusty young sailors and head off to a student night in Chichester

Now, I have never been out in Chichester before, mainly becuase It is a small town, 30 miles away and pretty inaccessible except by train with a change in between. And so, already being 11pm and having drunk many a vodka we werent in the most sensible moods when we made the decision to go there despite the next train home being at 5.47am!! Nevertheless we got there ok, and for free on the train, got a cab to the club which was about 15 min drive from the station through countryside!!

The club was really fun, loads of students, none of the angst or gold creoles that you get in Portsmouth, so fun fun fun all round!! Also, longer hours was good, at around 2 I switched to drinking water, so did most other ppl there and so I was sober by the time we had to go!

However, the beginning of our troubles came when the club shut at 3, the prob being we had a 3 hour wait for our train, it was 3 degrees and we were both wearing small dresses and i was wearing my mini-mouse shoes!! Decided to walk to the station to keep ourselves warm but didnt know the meaning of the word countryside till we attempted the walk – no pavements either side of the road, winding roads, mud, pitch blackness with only Mel's phone for light and a level crossing thrown in for good measure!!! Finally agreed to give up, so managed to hitch hike back to civilization and luckily the guy who picked us up was a bouncer from the club!! Walked the rest of the hour to the station, still had 2 hours to wait and numb toes!!!

Anyway, being as resourceful as I am, I found a big rag thing in the station that they were using as a dust sheet and me and Mel huddled under it and told stories for most of the 2 hours, trying not to let eachother fall asleep or get hypothermic, anyway, that bit was fun, nothing like bonding with ur girlfiends at 4.30 am and slightly delirious – told stories about warmness – holidays, hot water bottles etc!!

At around 5, commuters began turning up and looking at us as if we were with the dodgy tramp who was picking up fag butts in the station!! Anyways, train was on time, all good and apart from being a slow train I was glad to rest my feet and head and be slightly warmer!! Arrived near home at 7.10 and the coffee shop was open – JOY TO THE LORD!! I was so excited I had coffee AND hot chocolate, oh and a pkt of McCoys crisps!! Got a cab home looking like 2 complete dirty stop-outs but by this time I was past caring, got in this morning just in time to see my dad going to work and told a little white lie that I stayed at Mel's!

So, sorry – long blog, long story, loooooong night – But good fun, very good night, would do it again, but with more ppl and get a taxi all the way home from Chichester, but hey, Im alive and well and warm and going to get an early night!!


December 04, 2005

Packing!

I know, I know, due to all the comments on yesterday's blog I have started to lock all of my blog entries, also to lock some of my pictures!! Oh dear, I seem to attract wierdo's and esp Turkish ones for some reason?! Anyhow, NOTHING could scare me after this latest guy!!

And so, the end of another long, work filled term, SO ready to go home and 'allow' my mum to look after me. I do miss the times when my dad wakes me up in the morning with a cup of tea, sometimes breakfast, and opens my curtains so I stay awake (I dont often miss this 7am ritual, but right now I even miss my lil bro!!)

Packing is a nightmare, as anyone who knows me will attest, I have more clothes and shoes than fluffy pink brain cells and only one holdall to lug it all home in, its the most ridiculous situation!! I have sunk to borrowing cardboard boxes from friends and using my linen basket to hold clean clothes, the world is going mad!

Doh, off for a nice hot bath now and not thinking about the long drive home tomorrow aft! I will endeavour to continue blogging but for those who wont be, HAPPY BLOODY CRIMBO!!!


December 03, 2005

I have a Turkish stalker!!!!

Oh my god!!!! A guy emailed me via my blog the other day and added me to his msn. He cam on and we chatted, he told me he was a graphics teacher in Turkey…Not too creepy huh? Well, then he proceeded to ask me if I was married and said a lot of incomprehinsible things. WELL. the next thing I know I recieved an email from him, he had cut a really awful picture of me from my blog, ENLAGED IT, and adorned it with graphics!!

Imagine my horror when I checked this email at 7 in the morning!!!!!!!!!

COMPLETE SICKO!!!!!

Well it doesn't end there either, today on his msn he has this pic of me on HIS space for a pic!!!!

What a wierdo!!!! I am positively scared and awating the next surprise!!!!


November 30, 2005

Single….AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

Oooooohhhh LORDIE! For the first time in 6 1/2 years I am single, and actually feel as if I am!!! Feels so wierd, like im 16 all over again, feels sad but oh my god I feel like a whole weight has lifted off me, feels good but still a bit AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

November 28, 2005

Snow and Take that, my day is complete!

Yey, its snowing, and lots and millions of snow!! I love snow, cant wait to go tobogganing down the hill since our landlord said he will lend us his sled (although this is also the guy who says things like'okey pokey' so might not rely on him)! Sat in my room and looking over the park, dissertation is going nowhere!

Also, El has given me some extra special news – wait for it – Take that are touring next year – FANDABIDOSO! I loved Mark so much when I was lil, and he's not gay, its all in his head!! Grr, he's so pretty!

So, who was your fave TT babe?

Heres a reminder:


November 27, 2005

Baths: Warm and wet and make me happy!

Hmm, normally try to avoid the bath situation in my house, largely owing to the fact that a big hairy malting bear seems to live here and keeps losing its fur in the plug hole!! Also, been avoiding the bath today becuase I thought there was an animal in there so I waited for a chivalrous man to come along and remove it. Instead, Karl came round, but that was ok becuase it turned out not to be an animal, but a petal and Karl was able to remove it well enough!!! Petals in the bath, whatever next!

Anyways, had the most amazing bath, oils, bubbles, candles…the lot, I am clean and happy and warm all at the same time and there may be some OC fantasticness to be had tonight, think thats what sundays are all about!