August 06, 2009

How to survive Uni

My experience of uni has been mixed at best, I’ve really experienced the highs and lows which is why I think I’m equipped to write this entry. Now listen once and listen good.

Uni isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Dampen your expectations now. If you were clever at sixth form and crave intellectual stimulation from your peers you won’t necessarily get it here. Your peers are more intent on becoming a future burden to the NHS with how much liver damage they could do with the purpley liquid they pass off as beer in the SU.

Uni is like an American high school than you’d think. Recall Alicia Silverstone in Clueless introducing the various cliques to Brittany Murphy. I could give you the entire rundown for campus right up to the coffee addicts who are usually Europeans. Anyway people stick to their own, and with so many international students they gravitate to what they know. These barriers get broken down eventually but this is how it works out at the beginning.

For some unknown reason most people cling on to their boyfriend/girlfriend from back home. Sheer madness as far as I can see, usually these relationships dissolve after the first christmas back home when the inevitable “I’ve met someone else” chat happens.

People aren’t as popular as you imagine. You think you are the only one without friends, everyone else mysteriously knows everyone on ther course and beyond but you. SO NOT THE CASE. Do not be fooled by this. I was SHOCKED when what I supposed to be an exceedingly popular girl from my course said she was living alone in her second year because she didn’t know anyone. It seemed these people talking to her were just accquaintances.

If people use “isms” and throw around Marxist phrases don’t be fooled. Totally emporer’s new clothes. Unfortunately this is the time in life when people start trying to show off their intelligence to make everyone else feel bad, or get in there with these phrases to prove their worth. Unnecessary, we all got into Warwick, what are you trying to prove?

Everyone else is struggling too! You may not believe it but my uni life would have been sooooo much simpler had I known this one piece of information. They just hide it well. If you really are stuck and/or hate your course seriously consider changing it. There is nothing worse then doing something you dislike, being away from home and being in debt forever for a subject you can’t stand. I can’t emphasise this enough.

Warwick has too much choice for societies. Find one and just stick to it.

The girls are cooler and prettier than you – not true. Not everyone has been on these amazing adventures to the Amazon. Ok I remember looking out the window on my first day at Warwick thinking everyone was ultra glamorous. I focused on the 5% of the population that were and ignored the 95% that wore their hoodies and Uggs like some sort of unofficial uniform. Upshot is I spent most of my money on clothes when I could have saved it for trips abroad.

Everyone has a bf/gf. They don’t and even if they do it’s because they are miles away from home, seeking a warm body as a substitute for a family member and live out some marriage on campus where everything has to be done together. You don’t want to be one of those co-dependent people do you?

Don’t do things for the sake of your CV only!!

In three years all this will be over with.


London Life

I’m sure Time Out magazine does a better job of exploring the facets of London life then I could ever achieve. It will probably sell it better because I dread the thought of moving to London. I love visiting the place and on average go once every two weeks, for everything from art gallery visits to shopping to eating to meeting friends. But living there is something else, I won’t bore you with the cliche loneliness stuff. But when you’re in London the treadmill of work and sleep is somehow more apparent, the loneliness more palpable. And I’m not sure I’m ready to be trapped into a cycle of having to pay my rent to live in a neighbourhood I can’t stand, alone, where it takes me an hour to meet a friend. And commuting just doesn’t seem a practical option.

FYI I have to live alone. I hate coming back from work exhausted, having to muster up the energy to make small talk. Plus I can’t stand other people’s mess, yet dislike clearing up after myself to accommodate someone else. Oh and I can’t share bathroom facilities. Yet I also crave companionship. Husband needed aka room mate with benefits.

There are multiple things on offer in London and you promise you’ll try them all out. However you usually lack time, energy, motivation and money. The grown ups forget to tell me that for the first few years of my working life I’d be confined to the same poverty as if I were a student, worse in fact because my disposable income is nil and my parent’s sympathy has waned considerably.


The Graduate

I’m sorry if the title is in any way misleading. Unfortunately I haven’t found some middle aged man at his sexual peak that can help me make the transition from girl to woman while also introducing me, coincidentally to his son aka my future husband. Instead I’m talking about that inevitable: leaving university and becoming a somebody.

Hard part is how do you become a somebody? I want to do something vaguely interesting that means I get some mildly amusing anecdotes at the reunion (actually I won’t attend, they’ll be written in the alumni newsletter).

Always wear sunscreen by baz lurman states that the best people didn’t know what they wanted to do when they were 22yrs, so that makes me friggin fabulous. I’m stuck and I can’t move forward. Well I can but I just don’t know how.


April 14, 2009

Jen, John and Twitter

Ok so I know it’s old news that Jennifer Aniston broke up with John Mayer because he claimed he didn’t have time to return her calls but could update his twitter page every couple of hours.

I sympathise with Jen…while I am firmly in camp Angelina and have always been I think Mayer sounds awful. If he wanted to break up with her why didn’t he? Was he a coward and deliberately thought that acting like an idiot would mean she was forced to do it? Did he do that to spare her feelings, so she wouldn’t be the dumped?

What I don’t get is why did he update his Twitter page? Surely he has more loyalty to Jen then random people that choose to read his banal posts. Why did he not prioritise her over strangers? What is so difficult in calling someone? Is he hoping to catch someone’s eye and therefore betray her?

Of course this is the problem with modern technology, even if all of this was harmless because Jen is able to see what he has been up to she gets paranoid (and rightly so).

The question has been asked – is Jen so boring that Twitter is preferable? I think the question that should be asked is whether John Mayer is a total twat that has no manners and prefers to be so self absorbed as to think people are interested in knowing he just took a shower, made himself lunch. And because Jen probably didn’t want to know such details he had to broadcast it to his silly female fans.


April 09, 2009

A Lesson

Follow-up to How to mend a broken heart from Compassionate narcissism

And NEVER take them back.


March 16, 2009

Front Row

It finally happened today – I went to the front row of my yoga class. I had been asked to do so twice this week by two different instructors and I resisted. Until today (Sunday) when I was commanded to do so in front of the entire class and thought I’d comply. Luckily I wasn’t a total mess, I’ve learnt the art of sweating like a pig gracefully – sometimes.

Anyhoo I only share it because I made it my goal some three years ago (July 2006) and I thought I’d say it can be done!

Next step…running. I’m going to learn to run (preferably past my gate without collapsing into a heap) and one day in my life complete a marathon. There said it, committed!


March 14, 2009

How to mend a broken heart

In Sex and The City, Charlotte says you should spend a third of the time you were with someone mourning the relationship before moving on. I consider that an appropriate length of time.

There are some other things you should be mindful of:

NEVER crawl back to them. Resist all attempts at contacting them. The best way to do this is by deleting their number and any text messages they sent, in case when sentimentality (is that a word, perhaps not) strikes you don’t reread them and wish for something that never was. If you do this, they’ll take you back, you’ll have lost credibility and they will think you can be used again.

DON’T think this is an excuse to eat house and home. For a start chocolate stashes should be illegal (never knew they existed until watching Paul McKenna). Because instead of feeling gorgeous you’ll feel bloated and fat and not like the gorgeous princess who is better off without the frog. Better to get yourself to the gym so if you happen to bump into him you can look a million dollars.

DELETE him from facebook. You don’t want to know what he’s up to, who he might be seeing, if he’s having a great night out while you’re sobbing at home. It brings out stalker tendencies and makes you pine after him. His life was never that interesting and you’ll end up reading the body language between him and his sister’s friend (who you always thought was too close for comfort) for any tell tale signs.

FORGET speaking badly of him to mutual friends. It makes you look petty, pathetic and still hung up on him. He’s still a human being with feelings and there was something there that made you pick him in the first place (yes you chose to be with him and now you are actively choosing not to be).

REMEMBER the good times. Life wasn’t all bad. But don’t dwell on them either, he doesn’t need to be romanticised, it won’t help when someone else comes along.

ASSESS what went wrong. By doing so and discovering what you liked and disliked you move one step closer to Mr Right.

BORE your friends with stories of him and you risk losing them, mourn in private.

THROW yourself into something, anything. Whether that be work, the gym, learning to cook. He has left a space in your life that needs to be filled otherwise the loneliness will increase.


The male sex

I’m baffled by men, considring, I think I have a rather masculine mind I still can’t figure them out. Their general attitude is usually summed up as “can’t be bothered”. I’m not sure whether this is bourne out of immaturity or something that is common to men of all ages.

For example, if a guy doesn’t call, is that he’s just not into you or just can’t be bothered? Does he view you as something he can just pick up off the shelf whenever he needs entertaining. Does he not value you, considering you replaceable? Will you be a nag if you pick him up on this point? Heaven forbid if you do because you are labelled as some sort of bunny boiler. Do they think you’re so desperate for a man that you will tolerate such behaviour.

It can often be tricky finding someone at uni, despite the footloose and fancy free males on display at campus. Part of the problem is that in your first year you don’t really want to be tied down to someone. In your second year the workload increases and in your third you are already thinking about graduating so can’t see the point.

The work place is often so difficult to meet people. Half the people are way too old and/or married. The rest are spending their first paycheque at Stringfellows.

Being a lesbian is becoming more and more enticing.


January 28, 2009

Sugardaddie.com

My hunt for the credit crunch boyfriend subsided until I spent a long weekend in London and found myself staring adoringly at some Alexander McQueen shoes with pink soles, that followed by a trip to Wesfields increased my desire to nab a solvent male.

Unintentionally (but subconciously) I found myself on sugardaddie.com, a website that aims to bring sugar daddies with suitable sugar babes. It is like any other dating website other than the fact men can specify their earnings and estimated worth whereas women can refrain from doing so.

On the spur of the moment I joined, more out of curisoity, I’m not sure what my views are on meeting men from the net. I was under the naive impression that such a meat market was an altruistic enterprise. Alas I was proved wrong when three eligible bachelors emailed and I was prompted to pay the sum of £20 in order to read their messages. Which I have not done, as curious as I am, it should not be forgotten i am a student in supposedly one of the worst recessions.

Instead I decided to check out the female competition. It should be said that the males on this site are quite eligible, the fee acts as a screening device for only those that are serious and solvent. The men’s profiles are generally quite verbose, they seem to list endless sporting activities to convince us females they are not an obesity statistic. But are we to believe that 80% of these males regularly go skiing and that scuba diving is a habitual pursuit (can any activity be called a hobby when it is done once/twice in a life time).

In contrast the women on this site tend to have quite compact profiles, their activities are more plausible, shopping, eating out, the cinema. I was rather proud of my sex for not feeling the need to lie and then rather disappointed that we were all so uninteresting. There are some gorgeous creatures on there, mostly Eastern European it has to be said, a surprising number of older women too.

Actually I was most taken aback by the number of young males on this site, they probably think sugar daddies attracts young, hot women.

I won’t totally disregard the site, perhaps when I’m in need of paying my rent next it could be an option….

Oh and if you’re the polygot who kindly emailed me on the site, I’m sorry I didn’t reply but the site fee was better spent on the most gorgeous pair of suede boots!


January 15, 2009

Selling Your Virginity

The story about a woman who has sold her virginity online has got me thiniking….

Is it so bad? What’s the difference between selling your virginity to fund higher education and doing it with some guy who you won’t see again?

How did she advertise in the first place?

Isn’t this illegal?

If supply increased that would drive down the price and less women would be inclined to take this route but then again how many virgins are in their twenties? Furthermore doesn’t there need to be some verification that this woman is indeed a virgin?


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