To wonder that I'm not good, I can't do it, etc…..It sounds bad, but it, in turn, means that there is an ideal view in your mind, so that you struggle to get over them. And struggling in the gap between the real and the ideal is a proof of your efforts. That's why You can be proud of yourself!
Even though it is invisible now…..definitely your efforts will bear fruits!!
From the blog I always see as there're lots of impressive words, but sometime which make me consider a lot. They always pointed out what I didn't do, what I haven't done enough….but those are really really necessary in daily life. I would little by little upload those words, though I didn't ask the writer about it…...It may be Ok~~?
What is my ideal??
It can be said some are my dreams, for example, I want to be a…..etc…. Or even some things in daily life, such as to be kind to the other people…...
There're many thing I want to do, I want to say, I want to try…...as if I'm really mean….but when thinking of the effort…...did I make enough effort for them? I just chasing my dream and ideals, but not making any efforts?
Part of myself want to leap into new world and try new thing without worrying about anything, such as my pride, my looking, expance, critiques, etc….but of course (large) part of myself want to stay in steady, stable, relaxing, no-conflicting world…..like my head is facing to the new things, but my feet are directing to the opposite way. I don't know which is good; shoud try immediately new things…..or another…
Or can be said…..there would be right time to start each challenge. If I tried it too earlier for very time, I would fail to do…..or if it's too late for it, how does it work? Is that problematic?......um…...don't know. It may be easy to complete it as the time has already come so that I've prepared for it to finish. Or it might be tooo easy…..not challenging…..
And of course the things which I think it important now might be, in the future, useless and worthless to try…..
Um…....when the right time to start??
The answer may be …... just keep going…...make any small effort everyday…..as long as I don't give up doing it, though the progress is so slow, there may be the chance. At some points, I may notice it's the time, so I can go further.
The date has changed…...What am I gonna doing 1 year later?? I may be struggling with my dissertation and application to postgraduate.
I will enjoy every day in this next one year…..it's my 23rd year to go and it's my final year in my University. I wouldn't regret on my choices…..because 'I' made a choice…..