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When I checked my QQ blog today I saw a message from my friend 'Are you playing Hide and Seek with us, like a small cat?'; another friend asked me whether I did not check email for a long time. It seems that I have disappeared for several weeks and only have a few entries complain the strange weather here in UK, and a few vague words about my current unstable mood. I even did not write an entry for the fantastic Paris trip, only leave a few photos in the album.

Some friends came to comfort me very soon when they saw my latest entry. I am always warmed up by their care, their comments, their frequent visit to my pages, making comments or leaving without a word. I want to talk to them but meanwhile do not want them to worry about me. Sometimes when I looked back to my blue days, I just felt I was so stupid to be sad for such trivial things. So when blue days come again, I might just hide under a mask. I remember that one of my friend wrote an entry a few days ago and said that she always lives under a mask and many people do not know the real 'she'; people may not read the grief hiden behind the smile. At that time I knew that it was not only me who will choose to hide behind a mask sometimes.

I am optimistic, happy but emotional. Being emotional is not always a good thing. I used to be very depressed and made my parents and friends worry for me; and later while I have come back to normal they were still concerned about me....for me, most of the time, a blue day slips away easily after a nice sleep or several days calm thinking. Sorry for hiding behind a mask for my friends, maybe it is my way for not making your worry.

Yangyu Xiao : 10 May 2008 01:31 |  Comments (0) |  Report a problem