All 3 entries tagged My Goddamn Theories

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February 25, 2005

My theory of Déjà-vu

I have déjà-vu's about as frequently as I have periods. Pardon the vulgar comparison, but my déjà-vu's haunt me about every month. I used to brain-storm events in my life that could in any way resemble the illusion I just had. Failing miserably to make sense of déjà-vu's, I quit that method and started believing in supernatural. However, it's not a reason to ridicule my theory. Just yet.

I believe that people who have a brand new life do not have déjà-vu's and do not wear glasses. Those who do have simply returned from their previous lives to either finish the unfinished or correct the mistakes. Visual disability is a physical expression of the mental state. If one can not see clearly then, according to this theory, one is perceiving the world in a distorted way and refuses (mentally or subconsciously) to see the reality. Déjà-vu's are there to remind the people that they have done exactly the same things in their previous lives and ended up in the exactly same situations with the same people and will see the same outcome if they don't change something about it. And since they've returned from their previous lives, going down the spiral is a rather undesirable option.

So there we go. That's how I make sense of my déjà-vu's.

December 31, 2004

The Pimple Theory

Discovering another pimple on my nose isn't a tragic event. I don't start whining and putting tonnes of make up to cover the newly-emerged 'flaw'. I let it stay, stay and shine. Why? Because my Pimple Theory has a betterr explanation for its existence. It's not the greasy food I eat, not the unhealthy lifestyle I have, not even the emornous intake of alcohol - nothing of that is to blame for this pimple. Now, here's the theory: a pimple on the nose denotes the existence of yet another admirer of mine who is currently having a serious crush on me. Yes, that simple. And please don't laugh, for this theory has its hard proof.

When I was in my secondary school, I once woke up with this burning pimple on the tip of my nose. I didn't panic or cry. I went to school, entered the classroom, holding my nose high up, like if it was a torch in the darkness, looking for the 'guilty' one. And there he was, sitting in the corner, with eyes full of admiration and an apple in his right hand. He handed me the apple, gave me a shy smile and hid behind his classmate. At that moment I knew whom to blame for this burning alarm on the tip of my lovely nose. And that was the first time I truly acknowledged this theory and had an eye on my nose every since.

Okay, I couldn't find a NOT-disgusting picture of a pimple to illustrate this post. If people believed in my theory, they'd beg for pimples and worshipped them.

October 22, 2004

h4. The Soul–Deficiency Theory

There are so many people born in the world every day, that the Assembly Line Divine is now suffering a Soul-Deficiency Crisis.

There are simply no souls to stuff the bodies with. No one knows the exact number of souls. And no one knows the exact number of the soulless people. But it's scary to live in a soulless world. It's scary to be alone.

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