All entries for November 2005

November 29, 2005

Dreams

Dreams are Delicious

…like chocolate…


November 22, 2005

The world is not enough

I like dreaming. I like looking up travel fares to far destinations in Europe and checking if my calendar is free on particular days for travel. I like planning a tour that will never happen. I like to think I will go to Iceland some day soon. I like to think I’ll spend two months in Spain in the summer to learn Spanish. I like to think I will go to Sorbonne some day and study for free and say ‘bon jour’ to people, smiling charmingly. I also like to imagine, on occasions, when my imagination goes especially wild, that I will end up in New York, sipping coffee and dancing to the music of sirens. But not for long, no. I have a natural predisposition to disliking the States. Rio could be nice to check out, especially during one of those crazy carnivals. Maybe even India and Egypt. But I’ve never dreamt about those places. I did once think about renting a house in some remote village in Thailand for a year and living in solitude, occasionally going to Malaysia to shop. Hong Kong is a good place for shopping too! And I’m yet to check it out. Visiting Santa in Lapland has always been a Christmas dream of mine. Maybe walking around sandy beaches in Australia under the burning sun. Some free range riding of horses on the endless fields of Inner Mongolia, where the sky is genuinely blue and the grass is shiny green. And party in fancy clubs of Amsterdam. Then rent a bike and ride my way all over the rest of Europe: Austria – the motherland of Swarovski, Switzerland – the birthplace of my favourite chocolates, Belgium – that I know nothing of and etcetera, etcetera… I like dreaming, but I’d also like for my dreams to come true.

November 21, 2005

Curiosity

My curiosity is staggering: I actually thought of opening a pack of preservatives that has a label DO NOT EAT on it and giving it a try. They are little transparent yellow balls, shiny and cheerful. They don’t smell; feel quite hard and firm when squeezed. Licking it was an option, but they seemed less appetising when they were out of the pack with frightening forbidding warning and lying in the light of day. Is everything more appealing when it’s prohibited or banned?

November 20, 2005

Canvas

When the earth is covered in snow, it creates a perfect canvas for a fleeting image of a masterpiece. All the cars driving by are no longer mischievous vehicles causing global warming, but beautiful paintbrushes drawing accurate lines on the whiteness of the snow duvet. All the left-, right- and U-turns gain a totally new look from up high. They look pretty. All the bird walk, pet march and human stroll has no way of hiding anymore. It’s all clear, black and white.

November 08, 2005

Musing on the bus

Козявка

Какая-то белая козявка застыла на штанине у тетеньки, стоящей впереди меня. Козявка расположилась прямо посредине левой половины ее сплющенного зада. А ее зад расположился прямо пред моими очами ясными. Я сижу, а она стоит. Тесно в автобусе. Тесно в мире этом. А посреди этой тесноты – козявка, на которой сконцентрировано все мое детское любопытство и человеческое внимание. И мир за окном не мил, и красивые мальчики не радуют глаз – моя голова вся погрузилась в зад тетеньки, раздумывая о том, откуда же взялась эта козявка.

Это могла быть козявка обыкновенная, т.е. эксклюзивный экскримент из носа. Но она была до боли бела, что не свойственно радужной слизи, вытекающей из человеческого носа. Могла быть и рисенкой, раздавленной и размазанной по заду тетеньки в период давки в каком-нибудь дезинфицированном ресторане местного мастшаба. Могла быть и мазком ласковым краски белой от забора, но очень уже бледна козявка эта.

Уставившись на зад гражданки, я провела тридцать долгих минут в глубоких раздумьях, так и не вычисливши происхождение козявки. Стоит ли жить, зная ответ на всё?


November 07, 2005

外地人和我

‘外地人’在我眼中就是‘没文化’,‘素质低’,‘肮脏’,‘不值得信赖’,甚至没有权利生存在这个世界上的‘杂货’。在我一次又一次地在公共场合接触他们,我的观念没有改变,反而更深刻。有问题不一定有解决,但肯定会找出人来指责,不管责任是否真的是他/她/它的。我从没有深度地去了解过这个移动人口的问题,没有读过相关的书和资料,所以我就直接把这个社会毛病赖在‘主’(也称‘上帝’)的身上了。今天我不小心问了一下上帝,为什么要塑造如此让人恶心的人?为什么不能把他们分开,夺取他们相等的权利,让他们改邪归正,学会做人?其实有的问题就怕问。因为一问,就会去思考。一想,就会得到答案。但是答案却往往不是我们所希望听到的事实。所以我们就不去问,因为下意识地知道自己指责的人可能并没有错。我也得到了一个答案,那就是我或许比那些随地吐痰,大声喧闹,指指点点的人要差一万倍。因为我是个大学生,思考问题却还那么简单不负责任。我读了不少的书却从没学到宽容,谅解,仁义。或许上帝让这些外地人来烦我的目的就是让我看到自己的无知,天真,傲慢和简单的傻。

November 06, 2005

舅舅

舅舅就是唐老鸭。因为舅舅总大夸自己长有一双完美的脚丫。舅舅的正式昵称是‘嘎嘎’。我在舅舅眼中是‘麻团’,因为我长得满脸疙瘩。舅舅曾经在自己黄金时代上山下乡。这上上下下用了他八年的青春。下了山,上了乡舅舅早已是成家年龄的帅小伙了。全家就舅舅正气,是个男孩。姥姥重男轻女,总把我这个长着一双完美脚丫的舅舅当成掌中之宝。所以,当舅舅到了造福人类,繁殖小鸭的时候,全家人都激动起来,帮忙找佩得上的对象。当时我妈在什锦花园小学工作,二姨在大连一所大学进修,大姨在部队;姥姥和姥爷也分别在找。舅舅的魅力是个鼎鼎有名的招牌货,全国的美女都动心了。妈妈找来了个老师,二姨找了个医生,大姨介绍了个苗条挺拔的女军人。个个都羞答答地答应了见舅舅一面。却全被他拒了。舅妈并不知是舅舅的哪个知心人介绍的。为什么说知心呢,就因为正在全家人忙着给舅舅找知识分子做唐老鸭太太的时候,没有人真正意识到舅舅早已被文化大革命的思想给屈服了。知识和文化早已不让舅舅欢心了。舅舅要的是最普通的,最简单的人生幸福:性感女鸭——舅妈。舅舅的幸福让家人难以理解。可是我却替嘎嘎高兴。舅舅所追求的舅舅得到了,还管啥呢?

November 05, 2005

舅妈

舅妈就是《故事会》,《故事会》就是舅妈。我喜欢与众不同,所以我管我舅妈亲切地叫舅娘;舅娘管我叫小丫头。舅妈总有故事讲。每次在她旁边都会觉得比听世界新闻还有趣。舅妈不关心国家大事,却和左亲右邻,打工同行建立了密切的关系。此关系重大。不但能使舅妈耳闻到张三李四的家事,经常还能探听到跟张家,李家八杆子打不着的事。在外吸取了这么多知识,耳闻了那么多闲话,有一天舅妈就会一股脑儿地讲给我们听。不管谁想插嘴都根本不可能得逞。我们说冬天供暖的事,舅妈就会讲出好几个相关的八卦。有的时候舅妈有倾向,但大多数时候她都会招出数多个典故不同的,观念相差的。如果北京城哪里着了火,舅妈肯定认识个什么人,恰好在那里工作,学习或安家。舅妈见世面广,认识的人也多。一个人一个故事,有的时候一个人好几个故事。舅妈把这些小道消息积攒到一起,等见到我们家人,便大开话匣子,让我们个个得见识。

November 02, 2005

If you love her, take her to the movie

If you love her, take her to the movie

That ostensibly successful promotion motto for a new hype movie had the effect of an ultimatum and made a couple split up. The couple had been together for four years. One romantic evening they were walking down the streets and when the girl saw the billboard advert, she thought it would be an easy way for the guy to say the so much wanted ‘I love you’. And she figured for herself: if he loves me he’ll take me to the movie. Except, the guy was a poor calligrapher, who, although brilliant at what he does, had little wealth to pay for a ticket. In a rage of frustration and emotional pain, the girl dumped the guy.

It would have been a quite, ordinary story of an unfortunate couple if the guy didn’t decide to sue the advertising company for using supposedly manipulative language that resulted in his break-up. Since the guy didn’t have money to pay for a lawyer, he decided to find out if there were other unfortunate guys out there, who had the same misfortune of being fooled by an advert and consequently dumped. For that purpose he published his tragedy a la Shakespeare in a local newspaper and to his surprise, there were plenty who faced harsh penalties for refusing to take their girlfriends to the movie. A lawyer agreed to present the interests of the poor bastard in the court free of charge. But after the case was publicised in the media, people started judging his ex-girlfriend for being overly mediocre, shallow, greedy and unloving, which angered the Juliet even more, eventually resulting in her suing her ex for making the private issue a public topic of discussion and judgement.

The advertising company, of course, pledged it had no intention of manipulating the population by ways of stating an ultimatum and was simply pointing at the nearest and hottest place in town to receive trendy entertainment. The media naturally pointed at the lack of regulations in advertising and a general lack of concern with censorship in this relatively new field. I would, however, sue the company for suggesting that women are incapable of paying for a ticket to the cinema. Why not ‘if you love him, take him to the movie’? Why always ‘If you love him, wash his shirts and don’t forget to iron’?? I mean, wouldn’t it sound much better if the slogan just went: ‘If you love your other half, just say it’?


November 01, 2005

Hypocrite

I’m a vegetarian who eats eggs and caviar. They don't allow hypocrites in heaven, do they?...

November 2005

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