All entries for October 2006

Boys' Club in the neighbourhood

: 26 Oct 2006 11:50 |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Abort!

Я ребёнок не родившийся на свет,
I’m a child yet unborn,
Я безродная душа по кличке ”НЕТ”,
I’m a sexless soul, nicknamed “No”,
Я колючий холодок в душе врача,
I’m a chilling wind on the conscience of the doctor,
Узелок людьми разрубленный с плеча.
A cord, chopped off carelessly.

Пусть же будет вам легко, отец и мать,
Well, live carelessly, mum and dad,
Жить как все и ничего не вспоминать.
Live like everyone else, with no memory.
Всё равно я вас люблю сильнее всех,
I’ll still love you more than anyone,
Даже если вы забыли этот грех...
Even if you’ve gotten over this sin…

: 14 Oct 2006 22:14 |  Tags: From Russia With Vodka Translation |  Comments (2) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

What do you want to do when you grow up?

Julia: I wanna be an animal shrink. You know, we really underestimate animals: a lot of them are capable of emotions much greater than those humans experience. There was this hamster that was afraid of open spaces and its rich owners couldn’t figure out why it was depressed living in its luxurious cage with a hamster tread mill and beautiful view outside the bars. If they’d hired an animal shrink, the shrink would tell them that the hamster was really just uncomfortable being exposed to all that space! That’s why I want to become an animal shrink.

Penguina: I wanna be a forest guide. If I could have another life I would be a very knowledgeable forest guide.

Shusha: I’ll be a wife. That’ll be my career – a lifelong carer.

Jago: I wanna be a penguin.

I feel boring wanting to become a PR manager now!

: 12 Oct 2006 18:40 |  Comments (2) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Whodunnit

In the case of the killing of the Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya I tend to think it’ll be one of those news hypes with little useful conclusion made. So Russia is moving backwards to its golden epoch under Stalin; so there’s very little freedom of speech; so the international community was wrong thinking Russia was ready to host the G8 summit. So? On the day of Ms. Politkovskaya’s funeral I believe Putin said something like “her death is an even bigger blow to our image than her work”. Nice stuff. And very KGB-like. It’s like a double negative: we are saying we didn’t like her when she was alive, so you know that we’d be stupid to actually kill her. There was a famous saying by Stalin “no man – no problem” – my personal favourite. Something tells me it’s Putin’s favourite by now too.

: 11 Oct 2006 20:54 |  Tags: From Russia With Vodka |  Comments (2) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Never ever?

Has anyone ever tried putting a raw egg inside a raw chicken and baking the whole thing in the oven? Or would there be moral objection to that?...

: 10 Oct 2006 19:14 |  Comments (3) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

a clash of civilizations on a microcosmic level

- ...wake up, wake up!
- huh?... what?... where am I?
- wake up, we have to talk
- wha… where’s my five star hotel? what time is it? i gotta work, i gotta check if the drivers are all ready and in place…
- we found condoms in your wallet. explain.
- what? what condoms? where am I?
- why do you keep condoms in your wallet?
- wha? I also keep matches in my purse and a swiss army knife… what’s this all about?
- you came here for a month and you have condoms in your wallet – that’s what all this is about! how can you disrespect yourself so much? you don’t have a boyfriend here, what were you gonna do with these condoms?
- mum, dad, what the hell are you talking about?
- the bloody condoms! were you going to sleep with a stranger? did you think you could offer a condom to a rapist? what were you thinking?
- guys, condoms are a necessity, just like matches…
- bullshit! matches are for survival, what would you use condoms for?!
- ... ... ... ...
- have you no self respect? do you have any idea what bastards men are? they only want to use you!
- ... ... ... ...
- who did you want to use them with? did you come here for sex? or work?
- guys, really, I’ve only had 2 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, can we please not talk about something as ridiculous as that?
- ridiculous? you may think you were brought up in the west, but you are still chinese! we’ve forgiven you for losing your virginity now, but you have got to learn to respect yourself now! you can’t just go off and sleep with anyone! that’s what sluts do! only sluts and prostitutes would carry condoms with them!
- ... ... ... ... guys, it’s really normal to have condoms with you at all times, just in case
- just in case?!?!! you can only have sex if you have feelings! we have forgiven you once, thinking that you had true feelings for a guy. you have no self control!
- ... ... ... ... peeps, I gotta go now…
- you are not going anywhere!
- but i’ve got a corporate party to attend!
- at 11 pm?
- yeah, we are all going out together
- give us the list of names and phone numbers, we’ll call your friends to confirm
- wha…......?
- you got something to hide?
- guys, it’s really humiliating
- humiliating? it’s normal! it shows we care!
- it also shows you guys don’t trust me
- how can we trust you if you have condoms in your wallet!?!?
- .................................................................................

: 09 Oct 2006 15:00 |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem