All entries for December 2005

Time to Sort Out My Life (Part 1)

So it has kinda hit me that a) I’m in my final year and b) I need to start thinking about jobs and c) I don’t want to go home home.

Being at home home for the last two weeks has made me realise I don’t belong here. Either that or I’m not ready to come home just yet. As much as I love seeing family and friends and eating amazing food and buying lots of cheap stuff I feel I have unfinished business to attend to first.

So anyway I have written (well okay typed) a list of possible options which I could do in order to stay in the country. Any other ideas (be it stupid or actually useful) are encouraged and welcome.

Winnie’s List on How to Stay in the Country:

1. Get a job. Obviously the most direct and logical solution to problem. However whilst it’s all fine and dandy, people do not seem to realise that a) it is very very difficult for foreign people to get jobs especially because of work permit issues, b) the foreign people who do get decent jobs here are basically brilliant and wonderfully clever, which, alas, I am not, and c) (somewhat related to previous two points) I need to actually GET the job first as in pass an interview (that would be a miracle).

2. Get any shitty job. Pub job. Sex job? But coming to think of it I don’t even think that will work because will need work permit and hence same problems as in 1. So maybe scrap this point.

3. Live illegally by living in [insert nice person’s name here]’s wine cellar/basement. Now I would probably have said Niamh’s wine cellar/basement (the light of my life…choke choke cough cough) but the thought of Niamh owning a house at this point in time, which actually includes a wine cellar/basement is actually inconceivable to one's right mind at the moment. Considering that I make fun of her being a hippy who lives in a trailer. And trailers do not have wine cellar/basements And the fact that I said I’ll build her a house so she doesn’t have to live under a bridge. Could get any shitty job as in point 2 but if I’m planning to become a millionaire by the time I’m 35 this isn’t really the best way to start.

4. Take full advantage of the ‘Science and Engineering Graduate Scheme’. Just came across this and it totally made my day. Note to self must find out more about it. However it’s only for a year. And the last time I checked a year does not equal to FOREVER. But I guess I can buy some time with this little baby.

5. Actually graduate so can take advantage of above points. No wait, actually DON’T graduate! Aha!

6. DON'T graduate i.e. fail year or find excuse to repeat year and/or degree. Solution however is, once again, short term.

7. Do another degree. In what though? Hippy studies?! And where? And I’ll be old!

8. Obtain a British passport illegally. Any ideas how to go about this?

9. Fake death.

10. Become asylum seeker. (Thanks Loser for reminding me)

11. (Level of desperate-ness increases exponentially with this and forthcoming points) Find rich man to marry (sex and children NOT part of deal, will live in separate housing and have separate lives), then eventually divorce and run away with all his money. If can’t find rich then any decent man. If can’t find any decent man then any man. If can’t find any man then, well, er…..AHA! Civil partnerships have been implemented as of 19th December….

12. Find rich woman to marry (sex and children NOT part of deal, will live in separate housing and have separate lives), then eventually divorce and run away with all her money. If can’t find rich then any decent woman. If can’t find any decent woman then any…..oh wait. Actually need first to find out if being in said civil partnership enables me to stay in country, because if not scrap this point.

13. (ABSOLUTE last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last resort) Consider being mail order bride. I actually cringed when I typed this. Oh. Dear.

Okay stupid ideas and pointless rambling over. I’m off to go swimming in the moonlight.

: 22 Dec 2005 11:40 |  Tags: Asian Diaries |  Comments (37) |  Close comments |  Report a problem