One Year On…
For a while I've been wanting to write about my rather rollercoaster-like turbulent (to say the least) academic year. There have been fantastically high times, ridiculously unbelieveably low times and everyday has been a challenge in so many different ways. I am such a different person now in so many ways. Only now that the chaos is over (for now) and I'm safe at home can I reflect on what has happened over the last year.
I was actually contemplating writing about my entire life story for the year. Then I thought, well everyone says I'm always so pessimistic and negative blahblahblahblah. So you know what? Forget all that "bad" stuff. What I've done here is tried to summarise up all my high points of the year into words, sentences and phrases. I've done it in some sort of chronological order, and I know I've missed out on lots more which also got me to realise that even when I was feeling the downest of downs there were still so many amazing, hilarious and great things that happened and picked me up, so many that I can't even remember them all to put it here and bore you all to death. DEATH I tell you.
This is for those who have been part of my life for the last year, espeically the "new" ones. I know it looks rather long, but "HAVE SOME PATIENCE THIS IS NOT ASIAN BOOT CAMP"
Part inspired by my drunked darling in Melbourne (thanks for doing one yourself and hence reminding me to do mine), I present to you, without further ado:
The Highs and Highs of Winnie
“Er…” (I thought it was most appropriate to start with this) • Laughing till I am ACTUALLY crying • “Arsenal and Eminem? I guess that means you and me will never be together” • Bathroom antics • Birds • I'm Batman and you're Robin LOSER! • Sunday nights in Bar Leam • KAKAKAKAKAKAKA • Keyboard banging (and lots of it) • Sheep Mary with dog as baby Jesus • “I’d dominate you into dominating me”• I’m going to BRICK you” • "You’re giving me a headache” • OMAG • “Have you got any Vaseline Winnie?” “You ask the same fucking question EVERYTIME you’re here and EVERYTIME I say NO I don’t so stop asking if I have any fucking Vaseline for goodness sakes” (Next time) “Have you got any Vaseline Winnie?” • Kelsey’s lock-ins • Screeching • “You really make me want to bang my head against a brick wall” • Soil vs. Arty Farty? • “Okay I’ll make out with you, but I’m not going to fuck you, got it?” • “You pulled the other guy too” “Er….no I didn’t!” “Er…yes you did.” (I still maintain I didn’t) • The Charmer
New Years with the “Bristler” • Joe. Stripping. Britney. Dance. Chairs. • More beer to cure hangover • Port and parma ham • Drunkard in the back of random truck…still don't remember? • Walking around aimlessly • Feeding the ducks • Burger King will always make me laugh • Hungover and braless in jogging bottoms at Birmingham International • Have some patience!!! This is not Asian boot camp!!
Hair straighteners • Nodding dog • “Oh, no” • The Stud • Goodbye (forever) • “She’s fat and ugly anyway” • “Good morning Winnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” • Mail order brides • “The funniest girl I’ve ever met” • Tarsus man + Free food and whiskey • Nodding and pecking • Dawn French and Asian Saunders • "Come on then, let's go and pull!" • Cramped in the taxi boot on the way home from Brum
Valentines day BONUS • Half a bottle of Gin + Few vodkas = Awesome night • Pole dancing with drinking partner
The new laugh: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! • Choking on hairballs • “What song is that?” “It’s Rage Against the Machine.” “Oh, I thought it was Three Blind Mice.” • Pasta bog (Winnie style) and garlic bread • Tied together with security tape • “Is it because I’m Asian innit” • “Not my cup of tea”
Bournemouth to meet the “in-laws” • “...and this is the Asian maid” •
“Oh I love your dog, she’s sooo sweet” “Yes Winnie, I’m sure she is but you can’t eat her for dinner”
Minibus ParTAY • Shit mix • Lost and drunk (AGAIN) in Lakeside • Beerface
Passport • Giving birth to fruit • Brain deterioration • The Asian GANGSTA • DRAGON! • Two double dates • Scar or fat roll? • B52’s • Man of the match • "Where's the nearest hot dog machine?"
Special brownies, "Can you overdose on them?" • Moo Moo • “Sooo…is it love?” • “Smell my neck! It’s not perfuuume, it’s ME! It’s my natural scent!” • Friends Season 5 • Tom foolery • Lab JACKET • Roast dinner for 8 • Roast dinner for 2 when still stoned
Asian surprise birthday • Dog for dinner • Scary Geisha • Moet and Chandon
I’m DANGEROUSLY IN LOVEEEEEE with you!! • Library “revision” • Library fines for talking • “My crazy gran hates you….but don’t worry my normal gran loves you”
“Hi babe how was work? Shhh I’m on a mission” • The Pocahontas Skirt • “It’s a race! I’m in a race!” • “YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A SQUIRREL” • DJ SuperFLY • Whose breasts are bigger? • Food “missions” in Claycroft • “We’re a trio now” • Jump into my bed and wake me up why don’t you • crycrycrycrycrycrycrycry • Stud Muppet