May 24, 2006

Exam Time Fun!

You know you’re losing it when…

1. You put shower gel in your hair as opposed to shampoo

2. You walk out of your house to the library with your bedroom slippers

3. You walk out of your house to the library in your pyjama bottoms

4. You wear your shirt inside out

5. You pay for shopping with your NUS card

6. You use your bank card to get into the library

7. You get immensely annoyed at that ANNOYING TWAT GIRL sitting next to you in the SILENT READING ROOM yakking away to ANNOYING TWAT GIRL’S mate and then eating food and having the window WIDE OPEN when it’s –394723498203 DEGREES OUTSIDE so much so that you want to rip your own arm off and beat her with it (but obviously it’s okay if you chat to your mates and eat food and have the window open if you’re hot, duh)

8. You actually try this 4 hour sleep cycle pattern bullshit (due to rather recent experiments (i.e. last night/this morning), the author can safely conclude that it is, in actuality, a crock of shit)

9. You can’t spell anymore and temporarily develop mild dyslexia

10. “Rape” or “shafted” are your new favourite words. For example: “I just got absolutely raped in that exam, [insert lecturer’s name here] totally shafted me”, or “exam was awesome, I totally raped it.” (unfortunately author has not used latter phrase as of yet)

11. You try to cook something without turning the fire on

12. You go to your seat in the exam hall with your notes still in your hand until you’re politely reminded by your mate that “er…should you be taking them to your seat?” No.

13. You put milk into your green tea

14. Despite planning desperately ahead, you still somehow end up with only 7 items for the 8–item Rootes breakfast (and still don't know how or why)

15. You set 39810934734027 alarms but still can’t sleep in the fear that they will not go off and you’ll miss your beloved exam

16. You look more rough than an old man's wrinkly bottom (and every day is bad hair day)

17. You’re about to put your toothbrush in Vaseline thinking it’s toothpaste

18. You get lost in the library (the SRR is a fucking maze)

19. You love the fact that it’s wonderful weather (i.e. pissing it down) so no one can go out and play because you can’t either (“if I’m going down on this sinking ship I’m bringing everyone down with me” motto innit)

20. You get totally soaked trying to get home due to abovementioned wonderful weather and realise that you had a brolly in your bag all along

Hmm. More?

Obviously, I’m not losing it as I’ve done none of the above.

P.S. Happy Birthday Els xxxxxxxx

- 8 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

[Skip to the latest comment]
  1. Having fun then? Finish soon and come meadow skipping with us. I also laughed aloud at a few of those but no one's home so I don't feel silly.

    24 May 2006, 14:49

  2. did they actually accept your nus card?
    why didnt you tell me about this?

    24 May 2006, 18:50

  3. Helen SLIPPER

    I don't think I ever had it to be able to know I could be losing, I thought all of that was normal…..

    25 May 2006, 00:47

  4. Engineering God

    Hi Winnie,

    Just thought I'd let you know that, as I am God, I will be changing the laws of phyics and engineering today, I'll try and memo you the new notes but don't hold your breath…

    25 May 2006, 13:47

  5. God Of Chips And Cheese

    No Winnie, give in to me! Follow your heart to the chippie and get chips with lovely cheese covering the top. You will not be disappointed and it will make your exams easier!

    25 May 2006, 14:05

  6. Laws of "phyics"? What's that? Given that you're "God" you're sure a shit speller

    25 May 2006, 15:57

  7. God of Dyslexia


    25 May 2006, 16:25

  8. Hehe haven't checked the blogs in ages.

    20 Jul 2006, 13:26

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