Exam Time Fun!
You know you’re losing it when…
1. You put shower gel in your hair as opposed to shampoo
2. You walk out of your house to the library with your bedroom slippers
3. You walk out of your house to the library in your pyjama bottoms
4. You wear your shirt inside out
5. You pay for shopping with your NUS card
6. You use your bank card to get into the library
7. You get immensely annoyed at that ANNOYING TWAT GIRL sitting next to you in the SILENT READING ROOM yakking away to ANNOYING TWAT GIRL’S mate and then eating food and having the window WIDE OPEN when it’s –394723498203 DEGREES OUTSIDE so much so that you want to rip your own arm off and beat her with it (but obviously it’s okay if you chat to your mates and eat food and have the window open if you’re hot, duh)
8. You actually try this 4 hour sleep cycle pattern bullshit (due to rather recent experiments (i.e. last night/this morning), the author can safely conclude that it is, in actuality, a crock of shit)
9. You can’t spell anymore and temporarily develop mild dyslexia
10. “Rape” or “shafted” are your new favourite words. For example: “I just got absolutely raped in that exam, [insert lecturer’s name here] totally shafted me”, or “exam was awesome, I totally raped it.” (unfortunately author has not used latter phrase as of yet)
11. You try to cook something without turning the fire on
12. You go to your seat in the exam hall with your notes still in your hand until you’re politely reminded by your mate that “er…should you be taking them to your seat?” No.
13. You put milk into your green tea
14. Despite planning desperately ahead, you still somehow end up with only 7 items for the 8–item Rootes breakfast (and still don't know how or why)
15. You set 39810934734027 alarms but still can’t sleep in the fear that they will not go off and you’ll miss your beloved exam
16. You look more rough than an old man's wrinkly bottom (and every day is bad hair day)
17. You’re about to put your toothbrush in Vaseline thinking it’s toothpaste
18. You get lost in the library (the SRR is a fucking maze)
19. You love the fact that it’s wonderful weather (i.e. pissing it down) so no one can go out and play because you can’t either (“if I’m going down on this sinking ship I’m bringing everyone down with me” motto innit)
20. You get totally soaked trying to get home due to abovementioned wonderful weather and realise that you had a brolly in your bag all along
Obviously, I’m not losing it as I’ve done none of the above.
P.S. Happy Birthday Els xxxxxxxx