March 20, 2011

When have the Gods played such a kind of HAARP?

Do I care, you've asked me, about the consequences of the natural and nuclear disasters that have hit Japan or about the war inflicted upon Libya by the Western allies?

I'm afraid I'm not capable to answer this question.

People, albeit of questionable judgement, have argued that the natural disaster in Japan may have been an outcome of human actions. Although I feel that that "human" is not a noun to be used to describe such beings. One must have been deprived of all humane emotions to deliver such an act. To play God as if the Earth is a round of Stratego is surreal. I'm not judging because I sincerely do not know how I would act had I had that power. However, it does make me feel less than a pawn. I just may be the crumb, on the floor, below the table, on which the boardgame sits.

What's bothering me in this freaky situation is my current inability to live in my own little bubble and keep dreaming as I did when I was a child. If the acts of these people deprive me of realising my one and only dream... oh, who am I kidding? There's nothing I can do about it.

I'll just ignore it and hope it goes away - much like what I've been doing about everything ever since I can remember. Surprisingly enough, the good things usually go away immediately whereas the bad just stick with me.

Hope is such a silly thing. It's just an idea but it still helps me get up in the morning. So I'll just hold on to that for a little while longer, if that's OK with you, honey.

Dream on

February 21, 2011

Are you a loaner or a keeper?

Do you really want it?

And if so, how badly?


February 11, 2011

Smack dab in the middle of the blue

How do you separate the Don Quixotes from the people who will put their cigarette out on your heart?

Is there a magic recipe that some people use or does it all come down to pure luck?

It is fairly accepted that luck plays a great role in every aspect of our lives. My question lies at the exact extent of the role of luck.

If my actions matter less than the amount of luck the universe has assigned me, I shouldn't dwell on them too much. If, however, karma does exist, and my actions affect my amount of 'luck', how can I undo any desicions taken in wrongful judgement?

Is that possible?

What amount of repentance and remorse is judged as the "proper" amount?

If my karma is restored at some point, after my own hard work of course, and I carry on being the embodiment of 'little miss goodness', will I be reimbursed for what I have missed out on?

I don't know if that's quite selfish.

I'm just worried that perhaps the best events of my destiny were due to happen during that period and I've missed out on them. Is it fair to miss out on the events of a lifetime for a handful of actions tainting my karma?

Maybe life is much simpler than that. And I'm just making the wrong choices. And I'm the only person to blaim. But it suits me better to think that it will pick up at some point. That it won't always be dark blue. And I don't want it to suddenly turn pink - exaggeration is not really my thing - but maybe a light navy blue or at the very best an azure or persian blue?

Is it too much to ask for?

Well, maybe it is.

I asked for one thing last year on my birthday. I really thought it was going to happen. It didn't. Not even close. Should I maybe ask for two things this year in the hope that at least one of them will happen?

To be honest, I don't think I'll ask for anything. I don't like who I've become. I liked living in my bubble. A lot of people helped in bursting it these past two years. Thank you for changing my life. I hope that it will be for the best. Until I experience "the best" though, allow me to resent you. Just a little bit.

My twenties are almost half over

Or maybe I'm a permanent citizen of Makebelieve Land. I'll BBM you my postcode.

March 12, 2010

Mark Twain

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

February 16, 2010

Te lo agradezco.. pero no

"I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries." - Theodore Isaac Rubin

Te lo agradezco pero no

October 01, 2009

Don Quixote

Is there any difference between someone romantic and someone stubborn? Someone hopelessly and endlessly romantic living alone in their fragile exclusive bubble, and someone who just won't quit and do everything in their power to achieve whatever they put their mind into? It seems to me that both have similar ways of thinking, following a parallel line of choices to reach their wished outcome.

I have reached the point to believe that romantics are indeed the strong ones in our world, because, whoever lives in their own fictitious world leads a happy life and will probably find someone who is willing to follow them truely and devotedly. While those, who think they are strong and reject the romantics as silly losers, will probably reach a point in their lives, where they will need someone to keep them company, give them a friendly advice, a pair of eyes to look into when they feel lost, someone to share a joke with, and they may turn around and find no one. At least the romantics, if they aren't lucky enough to find a devoted follower, can smile to the stars and be satisfisfied and fulfilled that they, at worst, tried. The "strong ones" will merely wake up and follow their routine the next day, with the void still there.

I belonged to the latter category until recently. Can I be Don Quixote now, please?

Don Quixote, Dali

November 20, 2008

Que sera, sera

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother, 'What will I be?
'Will I be pretty?
'Will I be rich?'
Here's what she said to me:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

When I grew up and fell in love,
I asked my sweetheart, 'What lies ahead?
'Will we have rainbows
'day after day?'
Here's what my sweetheart said:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

Now I have children of my own,
They ask their mother, 'What will I be?
'Will I be handsome?
'Will I be rich?'
I tell them tenderly:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

Que sera, sera.

Kostas Montis

October 22, 2008

The Sorrow of the Moon

Ce soir, la lune rêve avec plus de paresse;
Ainsi qu'une beauté, sur de nombreux coussins,
Qui d'une main distraite et légère caresse
Avant de s'endormir le contour de ses seins,

Sur le dos satiné des molles avalanches,
Mourante, elle se livre aux longues pâmoisons,
Et promène ses yeux sur les visions blanches
Qui montent dans l'azur comme des floraisons.

Quand parfois sur ce globe, en sa langueur oisive,
Elle laisse filer une larme furtive,
Un poète pieux, ennemi du sommeil,

Dans le creux de sa main prend cette larme pâle,
Aux reflets irisés comme un fragment d'opale,
Et la met dans son coeur loin des yeux du soleil.

Tristesses de la lune, Charles Baudelaire, Fleurs du Mal

Parisian Dream

Architecte de mes féeries,
Je faisais, à ma volonté,
Sous un tunnel de pierreries
Passer un océan dompté;

Et tout, même la couleur noire,
Semblait fourbi, clair, irisé;
Le liquide enchâssait sa gloire
Dans le rayon cristallisé.

Rêve parisien, Charles Baudelaire, Fleurs du Mal

May 02, 2008


I'm me, who are you?

I'm me, and will always be myself.

I'm me, if you don't like it then just leave me alone. 

I'm happy just being me,

I'm unique,
One of a kind.
I'm me, no one can be me.
I'm me, myself,
Not you, her, them, or anyone.
I'm me, take it or leave it.

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