July 01, 2005


water flows under the bridge and points of reference have changed. time passes quickly tugging at my sleeves, pulling me along.
all a dancing whirl,
small circles of light in darkness, with a ballerinas turning in them. give way to the clown and now to the saviour.
cresendos rise and fade.
but the cry of the lonely moon on a cold blue night. skimming the treetops, hiding their secrets, racing on towards the house with no lights.
the clouds blow onwards.
i float with them… to a new world i know not of. leave everything behind again and float.
the ballerinas are still turning, frozen in time.

October 30, 2004


the tides of rage will rise.. and rise so high that they will cover the sky.. then they will come crashing down parting the dark oceans, and then the very bed of the oceans themselves…
should blood flow? let the bats out tonight.. and let them decide.. for doesnt everything fade to nothing in the end?

October 20, 2004


just where the hell is this going anyway?

October 10, 2004

yet another night

too much volatility. its really not stable is it.. one wrong move and the whole thing explodes.
the handle on the situation has also gone missing. you wonder to yourself where.. but isnt that pointless? whats gone, afterall, is gone. what are these bonds that tie one to things which are not there.. after all they are just memories stored in the brain. and some are not even your memories.. yet they shape your present and consequently your future.
is it weak to be human? or is it just inevitable?
can one change? can you rewrite the pages of your life? can you change the pen you write them with?
but it all boils down to this… can one really change? not just change behaviour patterns, and responses.. but more importantly change the core? can one change a core value? can one reinvent oneself?
and if not… and you cant live with yourself either.. then what do you do?
as she sang…
nightingale sing us a song…
nightingale tell me your tale
was your journey far too long

the beginning or the middle… or perhaps the end?

there are of course some things which will always bring you stumbling to the edge.. the interesting things then is to see if you fall. the boulders however have their own strength.
in the days of the spinning earth, and the universe that goes with it, one must be careful of the eye of the storm. thats where all the damage really happens. you can float ever so calmly on a nice sunny day…
but when the waves rise so that they cover the stars and the moon, thats when you must last somehow.
the depths have their charm though. the infinitly deep, dark recesses, where no human has reached before. reach down to it.. and touch the bottom. and then drown.
how deep can you go, before you lose sight of the surface? but then liberate yourself.. let the numbness wash you of everything. start afresh. is it possible to rewrite time? to go back to the beginning and push all the right buttons. or will you be drawn into the black holes? would they hear you scream if you screamed really loud?
how deep can you sink?

January 2022

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