All entries for Saturday 23 September 2006
September 23, 2006
I’ve been here since about half 5 in the afternoon…and believe me, I’ve only studied for about 30 minutes…
...oooOooOo I’m so bored..with everything!!!The more I fight it, the more bored I become….
...Is puasa today or Sunday???Confused…as always!!!!
At least today I brought Nasik for my dinner, yesterday I ordered Pizza Hut…I ate 4 pieces..and still hoping that I could lose some weight…dream on!!
Browsed through my friends’ Friendster….mixed feelings…the obvious one is jealousy…ohh how my life is so empty yet theirs are so joyous!
..then this feeling of regret and sadness started to flow in…and I began to think!!Hey..what the hell am I doing here late at night…doing anything else but study!!!4 years ago I’d never had imagined that my life would turn out to be like this….
...Why am I becoming like this?
...why am I so demotivated??So drained-out??So sad???
....I don’t want to feel depress again!Pleasssseee!!!Ohh Allah help me!!!!
...I haven’t done any work so far!!!
..I’m sorry Dr. Zhang for taking your money but not giving what you expected from me and for not making you proud!!!!
...I’m sorry Keith for not being one of your favourites!!!
..I’m sorry Peter Byrd for telling you things that now I regret!!!!
..I’m sorry Awak….for not being a better companion!!!
..I’m sorry Encik Zamani….I wrote to you 4 years ago that I’d become someone important one day…but I guess that day will never come…
...I’m sorry Mama,Papa…for becoming what I’ve become, instead of making you happy…I know that I’m worrying you instead….
..ohh Allah..forgive me for my heart is so lost….I beg You…show me the right path….forgive me…..give me strength oh Allah….give me strength….