All entries for Monday 16 April 2007

April 16, 2007


Still not used to expressing what I think, what I feel into words…I’m no writer…but slowly, I am learning…it’s something that I need to develop…that I need to learn and to practise…

Watched Day After Tomorrow just now…damn, have watched it probably a dozen times now, but still got the chills after watching it…the end of days, I wonder if I will be there to witness the events that has been promised….that day will come eventually, the question is when?

will I live that long to witness it, or will the time be that soon?

..I’m scared, of not being able to prepare…..what will happen to me?To those I love?

I have to continue with my work now…..

Will I become a better person tomorrow?Yes, I want to, and whatever happens tomorrow, starts today.

Where is safe?

Just browsed the BBC news website and was shocked about the incident in Virginia….

...this makes me think…what’s going on with us?Why this madness?Why kill innocent lives?Yes…probably this gunman is a psychopath anyway….but what about those in warzone countries?Innocent people died??

...where’s peace?Love?

I browsed through a blog by a father so obsessed with his son’s geniusness….it’s good…of course…but I hope that he does not forget to channel his son’s capabilities towards the path of Allah…I pray that he teaches his son the Quran….to memorise the Quran….not to forget about Allah….geniusness is basically nothing but a gift really….it won’t promise you anything….


Ke mana hendak aku mengadu?

nun Jauh di lubuk hatiku..

Sedih,Resah,gelisah,sesal,marah, sayu..

Segala menjadi satu..

Makin hari makin hancur makin kaku…

Suara hati dari mengingatiMu…

Hanya Engkau Ya Allah ya Tuhan,

Engkau jua Yang aku harapkan…

Semoga diberi kudrat dan kekuatan,

Untuk ku hadapi segala kekalutan,

Janganlah Kau berikan bebanan,

Yang tak sanggup aku pikulkan,

Ya Allah sungguh aku pasrah…aku berserah…

Janganlah Kau biarkan aku punah…

Daripada terus mengingatiMu ya Allah….

Amin Ya Rabbil A’lamin….


Yesterday was a disaster, I did not study at all…watched the telly all day…what a mess!!

...we did not have dinner last night…I’m starving now…

..tried to read Shakespeare’s before sleeping last night…but did not understand anything at all…it’s all my fault anyway…I don’t read much…

....Yes today I woke up early, solat subuh..Alhamdulillah, I pray that today will be better than yesterday..

I always have the same dream, almost…about my hostel life….my school life…sometimes I dreamt that I went back to SEMSAS to become a teacher and a warden, then I dreamt of coming back to study…but was not able to find my school uniform, then I dreamt of not being able to prepare for my exams…then I dreamt of meeting my teachers…

Am will start his 4 days work today, I hope that he will not be cancelled, I’ll be alone again tonight until Thursday…I hate being alone at nights….but this is far better than when I was alone for many many days as he was so far away in Germany….yes, glad that it’s all over…but I miss Germany…though our lives were difficult back there, but really had a good time…

April 2007

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