January 08, 2005

With a flash and an ostentatious puff of smoke…

I appear.

They say nature abhorrs a vacuum, and judging by how often the damn things break down, they're probably right. But nature abhorrs open spaces with nothing in them too. Everything rushes to fill the space, like when someone vacates the dancefloor during Top Banana.

Humans abhorr vacuums too; unsuprisingly, as they're noisy unpleasant things which break down all the time.

Ok, so I took that joke too far.

Back to the point: it is human nature to loathe and detest spaces which are unfilled. They suck at the eyeball. It causes us physical pain. Anyone whose ever opened a word processor to start their latest essay has experienced the horror of this void. One is forced either to turn away; run scared into safety.

Or one is forced to face the horror, wrestle it head on, and fill that yawning chasm with random crap.

That, my fair audience, is my intention here today: to conquer the demon of the empty text box, and leave my mark on the world for all to see, and laugh at.

Each word is a further victory against the teeming hordes of nothingness. Join me, in my crusade against entropy.

- 18 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. You've definitely earned an apple pie.

    08 Jan 2005, 19:44

  2. You look familiar.

    08 Jan 2005, 19:45

  3. I bet he's more awesome.

    08 Jan 2005, 20:01

  4. Mathew Mannion

    I bet he is too

    08 Jan 2005, 20:03

  5. Watch out Dan or he'll steal your crown!!!

    08 Jan 2005, 20:11

  6. I see my origin story is already common knowledge.

    So much for the sense of mystique.

    08 Jan 2005, 21:00

  7. Maybe there could be some kind of awesome contest. Which brother is the most awesome?

    08 Jan 2005, 21:04

  8. They could use the Mat Mannion Patented Seduction Contest.

    Whoever has the most successful results with "Hi, I couldn't help but notice your breasts, what's your phone number?" wins.

    08 Jan 2005, 21:14

  9. Mathew Mannion

    No no no, you've got it all wrong.

    "Hi, I couldn't help but notice your breasts"
    (girl admiringly nods gently, impressed by your forwardness and compliment that she has very noticable breasts)
    "I've lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
    (girl immediately attempts to ram tongue down throat)

    It's simply a matter of who can find the girls quickly enough and push them off quickly enough.

    Of course, Natalie could come to our Veneral Disease meeting on Monday and simply compare.

    09 Jan 2005, 00:18

  10. Aaah, will young Mister Lawrence be in attendence?
    I may just do that. Of course I will be celebrating the timely handing in of two completed and cleverly written essays.
    Hours till deadline: Not many
    Words Written so far: Less than that.

    09 Jan 2005, 01:08

  11. Lawrence the Younger will be there, he's the secretary no less, in charge of all things involving paper. Except for posters, that's my job. Too, many, commas?

    09 Jan 2005, 10:22

  12. chapter II : mspaint skillz.

    09 Jan 2005, 10:32

  13. Oh lord… there's two of them now. Are you going to post black and white photos of yourself too?

    09 Jan 2005, 10:38

  14. I thought Sam and Mat shared the blogging crown?

    They are much more talented bloggers than I.

    09 Jan 2005, 14:19

  15. Mathew Mannion

    That is one awesome picture. I hereby give Nick the Bloging Crown

    09 Jan 2005, 15:36

  16. chapter III : something else.

    It's just not big enough for two. There's only one way to solve this…


    09 Jan 2005, 17:26

  17. Amazing pictures.
    Some would say 'Awesome'.

    09 Jan 2005, 19:30

  18. Someone saying "Awesome", eh? Wonder who that might be…

    09 Jan 2005, 19:55

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