All entries for Monday 10 January 2005
January 10, 2005
Your wish, dear Natalie, is my command.
I was set the task of infiltrating the much rumoured, nay legendary Video Game Design Society . A weighty task for a normal man, but I, your Fly On The Wall, am a Master Of Disguise.
Some brief reconnaisance was necessary to complete the illusion. Nerds are like evil: they never sleep, and so I carefully avoided slumber beforehand in order to better observe (and imitate) their behaviour. Unfortunately my plan worked perhaps a little too well, and I nearly missed the meeting itself due to sleeping during the day. Still, my daysleeping, nocturnal experience put me into the ideal frame of mind for my task.
Roused by a phone call, I made my way to the Graduate. This was the appointed meeting place, posessing as it does many of the crucal ingredients to the continued existence of a game designer: dim lighting, comfortable chairs and convenient access to alcohol.
Having arisen to the rank of Secretary within their organisation, it was my duty to organise and run the agenda for the meeting, and this I did with customary aplomb. The meeting kicked off, as usual, with a brief recounting of our achievements since the last meeting – each member stood in turn to proudly announce the dread works they had perpetrated in the name of their dark lord, whatever that may be.
Several new members were present around the table, and were initiated with the normal rites. They should recover within the week.
Once the deeds had been recounted and the new blood supped upon, animated discussion was held on how best to next serve their foul, unspeakable goals. As I sat there, surrounded by such nightmarish, shadowy figures, I began to realise the truth – this was no ordinary cult. They spoke darkly of their "projects", whch seemed to be making worrying progress. The conclusion was inevitable; this infernal cabal seek nothing less than world domination.
At least, I think it was world domination. My notes became rather confused at this point, undoubtedly due to some foul malediction that they had inflicted upon me simply by their presence. It's possible the words could be interpreted as "make video games" – but such a shallow interpretation is unworthy of the true malign intelligence of this horrible gathering.
One thing is clear – whatever their aims; armageddon or Worms Armageddon, Duke Nukem or nuclear holocaust, we must all be very, very afraid.
This has been – The True* Story.
*for a given value of true