The FBI are coming for me
Today I saw a very suspicious looking van outside my house. I know that every company has a customer services department but I don't think that they do anything, let alone anything that might require a very large van. And what genuine company doesn't use their vans as a mobile advertisment? This van is completely unbranded.
The only conclusion is that the FBI are after me. Obviously my younger more radical days are catching up with me, I haven't always been a Blairite. Maybe someone found out about when I used to be an American embassy storming hippy. Either that or the old woman next door to us is a heroine smuggling arms dealing human trafficker. Actually I prefer that conspiracy theory, I'll think twice about crossing her in future.