July 28, 2006

Park Rangin'

I was standing at the bar when a wise old man approached me wearing a thick robe and a dusty pair of sandals. I could tell he was wise because he looked like Obi–Wan Kenobi. It has often been said that all great fictional characters have a serious flaw, and when confronted with the image of him sipping casually at a Bacardi Breezer the reader may observe that this man is no exception. The crowd at the bar went quiet as the man (let us call him Jebediah) spoke out “Kempez”, it was as if he were speaking for all of them. “Why is it that you choose to be a park ranger? Is it for the money, the women, the fast cars, a sense of duty to your country, or is it for some cause altogether more noble?” Right then on the breeze came a whiff of sea air, and with it the thought that in Caesar’s year, in Calabria perhaps or on the cliff at Syracuse, some other park ranger, quite differently dressed, heard the same question and answered with the same sentiments as me.

“Friend”, I replied, “you have listed many of the delights of being a park ranger. When I cruise the little electric cars to the shed where they’re kept, freshly endowed with a months pay and to the adoring gazes of the nubile single mothers, I am proud of the service that I am doing to my park and to my country. But that is not the reason I do the job.” I stop and sip at my half pint of shandy (I hate being designated driver), pausing partly for dramatic effect and partly to gaze further into the depths of Jebediah’s eyes. “When I was a little boy I used to go canoeing on the lake. Sometimes I would paddle so hard that I could not paddle any more, and I’d sit stranded far from the shore. On those occasions a man with a hat would put on a green pair of waders and come out to pull me to safety. These days I am that man with the hat, that bastion of safety in the dangerous world of Markeaton Park canoe lake. Why do I do the job? It’s because the children need me.” Jebediah is clearly satisfied with the answer, he sits back for a few seconds contemplation before disappearing into the night, and I am alone in the crowd once more.

Park Ranging

A free go on the bouncy castle for anyone who can spot the passage I stole from a famous play and tell me the play.


- 5 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Eleanor Lovell

    A play about a park ranger??

    28 Jul 2006, 12:06

  2. Dave

    i hate putting the waders on.

    i too had exciting memories of being rescued and generally thinking the guy who got to put the big wellies on was awesome. i dont remember there ever being any other rangers

    PS driving the cars is awesome, though Matt managed to crash me into the 20p a go train ride thing the other day by bumping me

    PPS i see you already have more uniform than i did until about 2 weeks ago (by the way, make sure you get some boots, theyre awesome)

    28 Jul 2006, 22:06

  3. Unfortunately there is to my knowledge yet to be a play about park ranging although i'm sure there's a lot of potential, the play to which I referred was A View From The Bridge where i stole a bit from Alfieri's opening speech. The boots are indeed awesome Dave although far too hot to wear, and as for the cars i think it's a floor that they have no breaks, but it probably makes it easier for the kids to use.

    30 Jul 2006, 15:17

  4. Dave

    yes, a flaw that got me crashed into today… i was saved by the boots though, i dont care about being hot, i value my ankles.

    30 Jul 2006, 23:08

  5. Andy Hayden

    You can't be a park ranger unless you occasionally must chase bears.

    Pleeeease one day radio to you boss that you are in transit chasing (presumably in a electric "golf" cart) some elusive picnic hamper thieves and you require backup…. now that would be cool!– surely the call every park ranger dreams/dreads.

    28 Aug 2006, 22:31


Add a comment

You are not allowed to comment on this entry as it has restricted commenting permissions.

July 2006

Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
Jun |  Today  | Aug
               1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31                  

Search this blog

Tags

Galleries

Most recent comments

  • I'm very sad to hear this news. by Sue on this entry
  • Though I do love nature, I can honestly say that I love man more. Always bearing in mind that he is … by Sue on this entry
  • This is very exciting, definitely something fun to do when I should be doing lots of other things! I… by Kady on this entry
  • I can only get 'Fed'. You've probably got more in the last few months… I'm on your blog looking fo… by Caroline on this entry
  • Hey Kady, yes I always said I'd return to the blog one day, although I fear it's only rarely that I … by on this entry

Blog archive

Loading…
Not signed in
Sign in

Powered by BlogBuilder
© MMXX