August 04, 2008

Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover

Paul Simon promised us fifty ways to leave your lover, but offered us only the following.

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

In order to make up the numbers, improve the gender balance and provide personalised advice to friends for current or future partners, Kempez’s blog proudly offers the following.

Make him choke on a widget, Bridget,
You just gotta castrate, Kate,
Cast an evil curse, Urs,
come listen to me.
Push him in yellow snow, Flo,
Make a very bad smell, El,
Karate chop in the neck, Bec,
and then you’ll be free.

The only good rhymes I could get for Lou were quite puerile (sp?). And now in the absence of good blogging here’s some music from the muppets.

Coming next week, fifty ways to leave your leader. (Stab him in the back,Jack. don’t be afraid comrade,...)


- 4 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. And why would you want to make anyone choke on me? :(

    05 Aug 2008, 09:11

  2. A question indeed…

    05 Aug 2008, 21:44

  3. widge

    I’m pleased that your advice is a lot more constructive than Simon&Garfunkel’s, and that my method would be suitably conclusive, but I have to say I’m a little jealous of Kate. Of course, we all know that lots of great words rhyme with Kate, amirite ;)

    06 Aug 2008, 21:24

  4. Yeah Kate has lots and lots of rhymes… Urs has hearse but I thought that might be taking it a bit far, being quite fond of Sam and all.

    10 Aug 2008, 23:10


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