All entries for Friday 16 January 2009

January 16, 2009

Grammar

Deficient. There’s no other word for it. English grammar fails to provide its users with the tools with which to express themselves. I find myself particularly underequipped when blogging, and so I’ve listed below some suggestions to counter the most heinous omissions.

  • The ‘no I’m not being arrogant this is self deprecating irony’ mark
  • The accent (everyone knows swearing is less offensive, in fact actually quite endearing, when done in a Yorkshire accent)
  • The ‘I know I’m being petulant but sometimes the adolescent in me itches to get out and I think it’s best to let the kid have his say’ mark
  • The pause for comic flatulence mark
  • The ‘I know full well I’ll regret it in the morning but I’m drunk and think I’m hilarious’ mark.

January 2009

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