October 20, 2004

How to catch a gorilla

A man arrives home one evening to find a gorilla sitting on his roof. Not knowing what to do, he opens the yellow pages and looks under ‘gorilla removal’. He calls the only listing. A man arrives and takes from his truck the following: a ladder, a bunch of bananas, a big stick, a pair of handcuffs, a Doberman, and a gun.
The homeowner asks what he's going to do with all that stuff, to which he replies, "I'm going to use the ladder to get on the roof, then I'm going to throw the bananas to the gorilla. While he's busy eating them, I'm going to knock him off the roof with this stick. When he hits the ground the Doberman is going to bite him in the nuts, at which time the gorilla will throw his hands in the air, and you slap the cuffs on him."

The man asks, "What about the gun?" He says, "Sometimes the gorilla knocks me off the roof…if that happens, shoot the Doberman!!!

what is a koala bear?

So into a bar comes a prostitute. She spots a koala bear sitting at the end of the bar. After a little small-talk and flirting, the koala bear goes home with her. They frolic all night long. The next morning, the koala gets up and wanders towards the door.
"HEY! Where are you going?" yells the prostitute. "I haven't been paid!"

Realizing that he is a koala bear and might not understand, she reaches for a dictionary and looks up the word ‘prostitute’. She shows him the definition:

PROSTITUTE (pros'ti toot) n. A woman who performs services for money.

The koala bear looks at her and then grabs the dictionary. He shows her a definition:

KOALA BEAR (ko all e Bare) n. A furry marsupial. Eats bush and leaves.

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