July 23, 2008

First scan

Dear.... blog,

First confession: I am writing this not out of a personal inclination or desire exactly but because it was a requirement of the Creative Writing module I will be taking next year. Thrilling opening I know; but I suppose I feel a degree of uncertainty and wariness in beginning this; I have never been much tempted to begin a blog; holding on I suppose to an ex boyfriend's opinion that documenting his travels around south-east asia in this way would be 'ego-manical'. Instead he eleted to compose private, lengthy, 'personalised' emails, and was, incidentally, one of the most ego-manical people I have ever encountered.

The format of a blog, (at the risk of sounding elderly), also seems slightly perplexing; I have kept a diary sporadically since I was 12; and always with a degree of internal self-examination, flagulation and neurotism that makes rereading a toe-curlingly awful experience. I suppose it is a common maxim that all diarists secretly aspire towards publication; and it is the self-conscious, writerly method in which I disect breast or boyfriend anxiety (it might be more representative of my teen years to insert 'lack of' before both of these), which makes it the most excuciating. I am aware of the inherent irony to these passage: there will definitely be a time not so long in the future, if this fetal blog survives the temptation to abort (ok extremely bad pun) when I will look back and probably scream with embarassment. I will leave space for my older, superior self to do so.

Adieu; and promises to write something more temporal next time.

Moi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

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