In a section in the Boar about Germany, I was lucky enough to have a short piece on Berlin published. The article simply lists a few suggestions for enjoying this very fine city. Although it is a little edited down from my original copy, most of what I would want to say is there. One point of infomation, however: the kebab place near Mehringdamm station is called Mustafas, and it is indeed incredible. I remember the first time a friend took me there: I bit into my chicken kebab, and then started making loud exclamatory noises and staggering around. I didn't know kebabs could be this good, and I certainly didn't know that my tastebuds could work so well after so much beer and so little sleep. I routinely took visitors there, and although they might have been staggered by the queue, they soon realised what the fuss was about when they had a taste. I remember how I once took a friend there at five in the morning, only to find that it was shut. Luckily, a nearby kebab place was just opening for the day... well, I say luckily: the kebab for which we had to settle was, I'm sad to say, underwhelming. My friend and I sat across the table from each other, and had the following conversation through mouthfuls of early-morning meat (now there's a phrase!)
Tom (my friend): ...This isn't the place you were talking about, is it?
Me: No... How did you know?
Tom: Well...this kebab. It's not very nice. In fact, it's near-disgusting.
Me: Yeah, I know. But on the bright side, it did only cost two euros. Maybe we shouldn't have gone for the garlic sauce this early in the morning.
Tom: Maybe we shouldn't have gone for a kebab this early in the morning.Seriously, who eats kebabs this early in the morning.
Me: Well, late-night partiers...
Tom: Not us, we've been sat in some German's kitchen playing with sugar.
Me: ...and alcoholics.
Tom: Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God. We look disgusting, don't we?
(as if on cue, a German alcoholic walks in)
Alcoholic: Gib mir Kebab!
Tom: I think we should leave.
Me: But our kebabs...!
He had a point, of course. We had been up all night playing with sugar. I didn't mention that in the Boar article, for obvious reasons.
I will, of course, write a proper post all about Berlin sometime soon. My memories of the city have been much on my mind recently; I guess I'm giving it all a bit of a rethink. Maybe it's time to go back. Maybe...
Under the table in my first flat. You can insert your own puns below.