All 8 entries tagged Something Stupid

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October 21, 2006

I hereby name you

I have now come up with names for my now two remaining fish, as I can indeed confirm that the third little one is still missing, presumed eaten. After a whole lot of deliberation I have christened my fish Mini-me and Chip. Wanting at first to name them Fish and Chip I soon realised that it was cruel to the little creature named Fish and would most certainly only result in bullying from the much larger Chip. Really, would you want to be named ‘Human’, or someting of a similar nature?? Clearly not!! So not being able to name my fish Fish how then could my mind not wander but to the ruler of the Oceans; the sword fish of sword fish; the majestic Marlin (ie. MEEEEEEEE in a sort of weird sense). In my logic I decided that the nearly-named Fish did indeed look like a mini version of me; certainly after scaling me down about 100 times and removing the spear-like snout you end up with something that looks just like Mini-me!!
So that you can all see this likeness I’ve inserted two images. Clearly

mini-me
looks just like:
marlin ie meee

Obviously I did think of naming my fish Mini-me and Nemo but there is just no likeness at all between either Mini-me or Chip and a Clown fish to warrant the name Nemo. Besides, implying that one is the father of the other would just be absurd!!


February 14, 2006

someone, somewhere loves you!!..

And so it is Valentine’s Day yet again and like usual I’m single this year yet again. Can actually only remember one year when I was in a relationship on this dreaded day for all us singletons. That particular year (must have been the year I was turning 19) my boyfriend at the time couldn’t even be bothered to get me a card. But then again, I didn’t give him one either. Guess you could say our relationship was doomed from the start when, after just one month of going out, neither could be asked to even do this one small act. But that year was one of the few years that I didn’t actually receive anything. ValentineI have in the past been given roses, and last year a friend from home sent me a massive bouquet of flowers to my corridor. But no matter how sweet a gesture that was he should know by now that nothing will ever come out of it.

It seems as though it is a tradition now for Jen, my housemate, to give me whatever I get on Valentine’s Day. Last year she had to give me my flowers, because I had been out when they were delivered, and this year she gave me my card that came through the post this morning. As it was apparently sent by a secret admirer I will now eye everyone suspiciously, just to make sure that no one is trying to play a prank on me (what can I say, I’m just not that trusting), but either way it’s made my day and I’m certain to go to training smiling. Yet what gets to me is that obviously this person doesn’t know me well enough to be able to spell my name correctly (so I don’t really have to worry that this person is reading my blog :)), but have been able to find out my address, albeit not my post code.

So anyway, tonight my housemate Yantra and I are hitting Leam big time; me to commiserate the fact that I’m single yet again (celebrate, commiserate – any excuse to drink) and Yan because her boyfriend didn’t think it’d be wise for them to see each other and thus doesn’t seem to understand the importance of this day to her.

On a completely different note; Boz that highlighter still hasn’t properly come off. It no longer looks as though I have a relatively serious skin-condition, but I believe that if you look closely, you might still be able to make out the words ‘flatpack ikea girl’. By tonight I guarantee you though that no trace shall be left, even if it means scrubbing with turpentine.


February 07, 2006

killer whales have always scared me

Is there something in the water?? (or maybe in the alcohol…) I have been having these really quite odd dreams lately.

Dream no. 1
Started off with someone, who at the time I thought was James Bond (don’t ask, I don’t know either), being sent out to sea in a missile. To get back to shore he starts swimming, which is when I realise it’s actually my dad and then somehow I appear on a sailing boat. killer whalesWe then realise that my brothers are missing and the water is infested with killer whales eating people. We find my brothers, fish them up and then we get to this ‘Waterworld’ kind of city. The water is red from all the blood, people are being eaten and no one is helping them to safety; they just stand there and watch…this is when I woke up.

Dream no. 2
I get a message on my phone from someone I used to know in Sweden telling me to phone her because something has happened. When I do she tells me that the person who used to be my best friend has died. (Can’t really remember any more, think I woke up at this point)

Dream no. 3
I’m at home with my parents when my mum tells me that someone phoned me from the Uni, telling me to be at the entrance of University House at 7.30 the next day, she didn’t know why.
Me: ‘Which one?? There are 34 entrances (?) to University House.’

The next scene is of me sitting down, surrounded by ca 50 people, also sitting down. I’m talking to a woman and she wants me to play a game involving me pointing at people whilst saying their name.
Me: ‘How can I?? I don’t know anyone’s name!’
Woman: ‘You should know their names; they’re all on your course.’
Me (something along the lines of): ‘There are 150 people on my course and we share lectures with people from Maths/Econ, Maths/Physics…and Maths/Stats. MS.02 can hold 243 people (?) and our lectures are usually full (that one is certainly not true). I can’t possibly know all these people!’
Then suddenly they all start talking at once and I tell them that because they are behaving like children they can play ‘Sleeping Lions’ (it’s a children’s game) instead, but the noise just gets louder and louder until I scream (for what seems like ages) at the top of my voice (have you ever seen that episode of the OC, season 2, when Marissa’s mum asks her what’s going on in her head, and she just screams?? That’s what it was like, minus the throwing of chairs…). Then it all goes quiet, but then they’re suddenly all sat around a table, and they’re singing. I get angry at this man, who appears to be their teacher, saying that they’re meant to be playing ‘Sleeping Lions’.
Man: ‘But they don’t want to…’
And then I wake up.

Apparently dreams are meant to reflect what you’re feeling; any dream interpreters out there…?


January 12, 2006

The colour purple

Shockingly enough I’m not at Score today. Well I’m not at Score for the second week in a row, and I doubt that I’ll be showing my face there at all this term. Why?? Well, I’m simply tired of being tired and unfortunately for me, and for the union, I have my only nine o’clock on a Thursday and I plan to make every single one.
So I had no match today and I didn’t go to Score. So what was there for me to do but to go to Birmingham for some shopping?? It was good; I had some sushi and I bought myself a new bag. Oh, and I decided to dye my hair as well. My friend and I were a bit bored and it seemed like such a good idea to dye it a nice bright plum colour. Yup, that does mean purple. It’s not too obvious, apart from it being purple, but it’s something different.

December 21, 2005

in loving memory of…


I have an extremely sad announcement to make today. Shrek has died!!!!
He/she (I’d like to think that it was a he) departed our world today between the hours of 12 o’clock and 6 this afternoon. In many ways his life was similar to mine: he also lived in a bubble (well a round bowl, but there’s similarities) like we do at Warwick. In the brief time he was on this earth he brightened up my life everyday by his constant flapping of his fins and mad dashes to the surface whenever it was time for food. Yes, he will be remembered. May you rest in peace, Shrek.

October 19, 2005

some little facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death.
(Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home…... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body.. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the….?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes… lucky pig… can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm….....)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing….)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)


October 17, 2005

quotes from the house..

"I'm GI Yan I don't need hugs"

"So if England played Spain, who would Beckham play for??"

"I love winning elections; especially if there are other people involved."

"What's the film?? Flying Dragon, Hidden Monkey.."

"Why do you say excuse my french?? I've never heard a frenchman say 'oh bollocks'."

Rich – "Yantra swear in Australian for me"
Yantra – "Bugger off, mate"

"I'm sure everyone's a bisexual at heart"

"Is Gareth Gates blind??"

"Sometimes I pick up the phone and say 'goodbye'."

"I'd love to go to a pride meeting to pick up lots of pink stuff!"

"I'm still waiting for spank"

"How did we get onto Malin's tits and how do we get off them?!"

"Do you remember when we had sex on the beach??".

"We can masquerade as a three-some.."

"Fuck me, I’m pissed"

Jen: “In all contexts boobs are educational”

"Talking of transgenders, where's JD??"

"I'm allowed to take the piss out of disabled people because I'm dyslexic!"

"It's not like we're in Europe"

"A Lib Dem Social, is that an oxymoron??"

"I you back to Sweden maybe you'll start thinking in Swiss"

"I only like having curries at home where you can deal with the consequences.".


a mathematical model

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever
wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give
over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer
these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14 +15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard
work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you
there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the
top.


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  • Everyone would surely feel respective fear when in front of an Orca, but you seem to be really afrai… by Stranger on this entry
  • I have had dreams of a whale trying 2 eat me 2 I am 2 scared 2 go in water now. Where and when are k… by 1 freaked out person on this entry
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