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February 22, 2015

You don't have to like someone to follow them!

So recently i have been toying with a new bit of learning. We have been discussing whether a leader should demand respect and have respect. How important building rapport it, and having that balance of being approachable/friendly yet still having some sort of authority. Also about positional power.

And at the same time personal experiences have made me come to a piece of learning that other may or may not agree with. Maybe you dont have to like someone to follow them. Now this on the level of having leaders that yes maybe you may not be huge fans of but you still follow them because you see that they are great leaders or very good a what they do.

its similar to the concept of not liking someone very much personally but respecting them alot for their drive or their ethos to work. Maybe its not all about great rapport building, yes i have found personally that rapport building can really benefit the way a team works there is no doubt about it. But on numerous occasions i have also seen brilliant leaders who people dont like very much but still follow.

this may be because thats te type of leadership that worked for that specific team, maybe it is actually the rapport the leader was aiming for or maybe its more about the leader passion outweighing their shortcomings.

It just made me realise that for myself, that maybe i dont have to like someone very much to still be inspired and influenced by them positively. We cant expect anyone to be perfect and if we can humble ourselves enough to see the common vision and goal we can flip that view around to be good followers of leaders like this, or even be good leaders to followers who we may not be very fond of.

There has got to be some way to influence those followers that dont see your leadership or your position with positivity. we just have to find out the way to get them to also look past what they may not be happy with, or to resolve it whenever we can. then we can try and tap into their hierarchy of change and inspire them

AND yes i know its not always possible but you mus always try your best, you cant be lazy with this aspect. these are the challenges of any human, not just leaders. We should always try to help before we give up


February 10, 2015

Coaching– receiving it

This is the time to explore my boundaries and exercise my potential.

yes being a good leader, friend or colleague comes not only with being patient for mistakes and shortcomings but also with caring enough for someone to help them grow. I guess there are ways to do this that may have better outcomes for the individual than others.

You've gotta ask yourself if you are saying this with genuine support and belief in your friends future and socioemotional well being, or if your just trying to prove that you can critically analyse their behaviour with some sense of superiority.

where the above is leading to is pretty obvious. But what may be interesting to think about is how we ourselves perceive negative comments, whether it be from friends, our boss our, our partner, our parents or our teachers.

yes you may have pissed someone off with your behaviour and their a little mad when theyre giving you this feedback, however there is some underlying factor, maybe a mistake or maybe its actually something you never realised you did. nevertheless this is feedback and honestly if we knew how valuable the angry words coming out of a persons mouth sometimes can be we would avoid alot of mistakes.

ok so I am thinking, next time im in a group and someone is giving me negative feedback- what if I actively make the choice to let negative emotions go and to get that underlying wisdom or piece of advice out of this person. Yes maybe you think reacting negatively would give you satisfaction, it wont help anyone certainly not you in the future.

If we can overcome this short term negativity maybe we can really take on these fee therapeutic sessions and try and see what we are doing to make someone feel that way and to see if yes there really is a very important underlying factor here that i need to change about myself.

how many bad choices would i avoid in the future this way. maybe by fixing a shortcoming in my team working style now i can earn a promotion for my level headed approach to so and so in the future! you never know what you may sow from just keeping your cap on now! not to mention the respect you would gain form your colleague for being so proactive about what they have said.


what is leadership and can we achieve it?

Is leadership a skill? is it a character? an inbuilt trait or a practice? Is it something that is taught or something to aspire towards?

if you ask a group of employees what leadership is what would they say? What would a soldier say? or a student, or paramedic? what would a sportsmen or a company director say? they would all have variance leadership definitions. What may constitute exemplary leadership practices to a Marine may not be so valuable to a construction worker.

leadership is a word that is thrown around a lot. What we dont realise is that it is more about the followers than anything. leadership is defined by the above followers. Is it not up to the individuals perception?- what they may need from their respective leader is unique to them.

The problem arises when leaders fail to see this factor. A once brilliant leader cannot maintain that followership and motivation without being continually flexible and adaptable to the groups needs and perceptions. ever aware of the changes in temperature

now its all well and good to see this, but how are we to keep this going. This is what i am wondering, in any case i have found that having one to one interactions with people builds a brilliant rapport personally but in a positions of leadership how do you keep that healthy distance where people can still value your guidance as a leader. or is that even a power aspect in itself. should there be atleast some element of distance between leaders or is does it just come down to how inspiring your own actions are to make others follow suite.

this is a reflection in action, maybe ill find the answer this week or maybe its just a matter of adaptability when things arise. maybe taking the coaching approach may help build a better response....


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