All entries for Sunday 22 February 2015
February 22, 2015
What we may perceive to be fair is not always something that others perceive to be fair.
As a leader there ma be many occasions that we feel we did the right thing or the best thing. however there is no reason for others to feel the same about our decision. Actually in many decisions others may no share our same view at it. its a given that we should aim to listen to everyone and get to decisions together.
People always have a little bit of bias whether its through their experience, culture, background or just mood.
In the same way we ma feel we are a good leader and coming across committed and motivated, others may not see it that way. So i was wondering what the best way to make sure everyone is happy is? or is this even something a person in the position of leading should be worrying about. Ofcourse you cant satisfy everyone, but you still want them to be on board and motivated.
Maybe its down to the rapport you have and how you can sense as a leader the temperature of the room. Theres been so many times this year that i have wished a person could see that the mood of the room is not where they think it is. people are not ready or open to hearing what they are saying. Similarly I must have misjudged the room many times too.
Its just something interesting to think about, how do we develop the skill of measuring moods and the feel of the people in the group or room.
So recently i have been toying with a new bit of learning. We have been discussing whether a leader should demand respect and have respect. How important building rapport it, and having that balance of being approachable/friendly yet still having some sort of authority. Also about positional power.
And at the same time personal experiences have made me come to a piece of learning that other may or may not agree with. Maybe you dont have to like someone to follow them. Now this on the level of having leaders that yes maybe you may not be huge fans of but you still follow them because you see that they are great leaders or very good a what they do.
its similar to the concept of not liking someone very much personally but respecting them alot for their drive or their ethos to work. Maybe its not all about great rapport building, yes i have found personally that rapport building can really benefit the way a team works there is no doubt about it. But on numerous occasions i have also seen brilliant leaders who people dont like very much but still follow.
this may be because thats te type of leadership that worked for that specific team, maybe it is actually the rapport the leader was aiming for or maybe its more about the leader passion outweighing their shortcomings.
It just made me realise that for myself, that maybe i dont have to like someone very much to still be inspired and influenced by them positively. We cant expect anyone to be perfect and if we can humble ourselves enough to see the common vision and goal we can flip that view around to be good followers of leaders like this, or even be good leaders to followers who we may not be very fond of.
There has got to be some way to influence those followers that dont see your leadership or your position with positivity. we just have to find out the way to get them to also look past what they may not be happy with, or to resolve it whenever we can. then we can try and tap into their hierarchy of change and inspire them
AND yes i know its not always possible but you mus always try your best, you cant be lazy with this aspect. these are the challenges of any human, not just leaders. We should always try to help before we give up
So what i was looking to find in this particular masters was a real integral change to my ways and views. I dont know how to explain this but i just wanted to enrich and enlighten myself in the way i work and perceive work. And i have not been disappointed yet.
I really have been learning and growing so very much, its gotta be the most growing i have done in the space of a couple of months through my life so far. And i cannot put a value on it.
So i am telling you this because 'Caoching' by Graeme Knowles really reminded me of what inspired me about this course. I have been growing and reflecting throughout all of it and almost forgot that its so awesome because thats why i am here!
I have always been told im a good friend and i am blessed to be seen that why however personally i have always known that i could listen more and maybe figure out a better why to help my friends than give them advice. I never realised that advice is the worst thing i could give, and honestly now that i look back at it, I was so wrong to do so.
I couldve helped myself and learnt so much more and even help others by just listening and letting them get there themselves. because most of the time lets face it no one takes advice and you end up just thinking "i told you so". and then there are times where people are so much more capable than what you advised them.
I guess its alot to do with humbling yourself too, which really is HUGE underlying essential to success in anything.
Well coaching really does make me very very excited for how i will handle things in the future an dhow much more i will learn fro people about life lessons and also about how much more i will learn from my employees and colleagues. because the human mind and emotions really are pretty incredible and powerful. I have missed out on learning so many amazing lessons so far by not tapping into that potential and intelligence of others. i seriously cannot wait to see it now.
When i say learning from others i mean when you coach others your kinda taking a back seat and watching their journey to discover something new, however small or big that discovery may be that is a little more wise than you were yesterday.
Ultimately i could learn so much from this course by just listening, but like the example of this Coaching session has taught me, if i actively choose to let something impact me and i hold on to it and ingrain it into my mind then that is the only way I can really let it have that powerful impact on the rest of my life whether its professional or personal
and taht oes for anything you learn from anyone or anywhere. its all upto you if you are gonna let yourself absorb tha information and live by it.
So Paul presented the Hierarchy of Change to us he other day and it was about how we must aim to try and influence our followers values & beliefs or even go as far as their identity or purpose. And this was a really strong concept.
So if we can try and give people a sense of purpose with the tasks or vision of the company and really have their belief and values tapped into it then we can inspire so much of their potential and effort. They will go above and beyond their daily responsibilities and want to do so.
So this made me think about our inner hierarchy of change, how we in our own being drive ourselves. You inner drive and motivation can be your culture. If you can tap into what drives you and give yourself purpose with any given task or project then that may start showing externally in what you do, and there is nothing more inspiring than a leader with charisma and drive.
Paul said the phrase "by having a sense of our identity we can get a jump start on the hierarchy of change" If we can do this with ourselves then i am certain that it will show on the outside aswell and people will also see that drive and maybe even feed off of it.
It reminds me of a friend I have who has such an amazing drive when it comes to work, she just sits down and gets on with it and any assignment is done within the allocated 40 hours. I could never do this but whenever i think about this it always without a doubt inspires me and i feed off of her drive a little each time and it sort of makes me think that 'YES! maybe i can do this better too'
However i havent given myself that sense of purpose or direction like my friend has and im not gonna see any changes in things unless i can tap int that.
Relating it to the future, i guess if i can tap into the purpose of why i am going to do what i will do and how i am going to drive myself to get there and conquer that mountain then i dont think that i will find the journey there as difficult or daunting.
Well I think all i have to do now is develop that inner culture of change!