July 11, 2005

The ICG. The end of another great experience.

The end of another great experience. The International Children's Games came to a close yesterday (Sunday). Most teams would only leave on Monday. My team left yesterday evening, soon after the Closing Ceremony.
I woke up this morning and my first thought was of my team, their faces flashed across my mind: "I'm meeting them today." Then, I realised, no, I'm not meeting them anymore today. Nor any other day, probably. I might not see them ever again. :(
I'm quite surprised myself to realise that I'm actually missing them, and missing the overall atmosphere of the Games, in general. It felt strange waking up this morning and realising that I won't be walking around campus with my team, accompanying them to their sporting venues, meals etc anymore. What would I do now?? :P
I'm sure I'll find lots of activities to keep me busy soon. But at the moment, there's just this tiny feeling of being "lost".

I've not made as many new friends as I would have liked, but I've certainly met some wonderful individuals from whom I've learned lessons of life from – particularly, in the art of communication, and the general good spirit of celebrating the unique differences of the world's people.
Being a Team Host and working alongside the Games' organisers, team coaches, VIPs and delegates have taught me the importance of being responsible for one's actions and speech. The urgency and challenge of making sure that what I convey to them is true and what I promise to do will be done. The maturity to interact and work with them in a professional manner, and to gain their confidence in me.
I have given my best for my team, and for the Games. For that, I can be happy with myself. I can only hope that I had been of some help to them and that they had really enjoyed their time here for the past week. Good Luck in your future endeavours, and may our paths cross again some day :)
And to the organisers, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this great experience, and well done for a very successful Games!


July 04, 2005

All walks of life. One event. One mission.

I walked into Charles Ward building in Coventry University at 9am this morning, greeted by hundreds of faces. Young and old, from grandfathers to school children. Whites, Blacks, Asians and anything in between. Working adults, and students on holiday. You name it. I was amazed.
Excited! To think that all, or even if just some of them could be my new friends. And there's still the participants, coaches, team managers, delegates and loads of others who will be coming to the Games. Wow! :D
I am ready for the challenge, and the fun!

The day's training consisted of issues relating to Child Protection, a tour around the Games venues (mainly at Warwick University), and a general outline of the role of a Team Host. It is quite a bit of work, and as the facilitators put it, the information we were given were rather "overwhelming". The thought that crossed my mind was, "Whoa! This is big responsibility. I can't mess up." But it is true that we will be provided with sufficient support throughout. I guess, at the end of the day, what it comes down to mainly is to be confident to deal with anything and everything thrown at us at any times, with calm and a positive attitude.
I look forward very much to meeting, getting to know, and assisting my team, come this Wednesday, the 6th of July! :)

It has been a wonderful day. I think I made a new good friend today, from the training programme :)
And, what can be a better end to the day than to enjoy a yummy dinner over a funny movie with good, old friends, and cap it off with a few games of tetris! Thanx, pals!! hugS :))


June 22, 2005

Tree, Leaf, Wind & Love

People call me “Tree”.

I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love
a
lot but never dared to go after. She didn’t have a pretty face, good
figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I
liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness,
her
intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was
that
I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I
was
also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would
vanish. I
was also afraid other’s gossip would hurt her.

I felt that if she were my girl, she’d be mine ultimately & I didn’t
have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her
accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I
have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my
second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled
&
said, “Go on!” before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen
like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later
that
day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her
cry
in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like
her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on
her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel.
However,
I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings
and
walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking
with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not
know
deep down inside I was hurt too.

When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that
day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break
up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her
getting
together..
I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of
the
School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes.
Once
I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How
many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her
presence?

During graduation, I read a SMS in my mobile. It said, “Leaf’s
departure is
because of Wind’s pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay”

Leaf..
People call me Leaf..

During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as
buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a
feeling I never should have learnt – Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme
limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I
hide
my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.

I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won’t he pursue me? Since he
loves me why he didn’t he make the first move? Whenever he had a new
girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect
that this was one-sided love. If he didn’t like me, why did he treat
me
so well? It’s beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know
his
likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.
You can’t expect me a girl, to ask him.
Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him,
accompany
him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me.
Because
of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue
waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.

At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues
me.
He’s like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a
tree.
In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing
in my heart.
I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf
left
the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn’t ask me to stay.

Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or cause Tree didn’t
ask
her to stay..

Wind..
People call me Wind..

Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she’s so dependent on tree,
so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I
first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new
school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing
soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone
or with her friends, looking at him.
When he talks with girls, there’s jealousy in her eyes. When he looked
at her, there’s a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit.
Just like, she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn’t appear. I felt something missing. I can’t explain
the feeling except it’s a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not
there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my
senior
scolding her.
Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her
usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took
out a
note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled &
accepts the note.
The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.

It read, “Leaf’s heart is too heavy and wind couldn’t blow her
away..”

“It’s not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to
leave tree.” I replied her note with this statement and slowly she
started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that
the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one
day I will make her like me.
Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20
times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up.
If
I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win
her over. I can’t remember how many times I have declared my love to
her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small
ray of hope.

Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn’t hear any
reply
from her over the phone. I asked, “What are you doing? How come you
didn’t want to reply?” She said, “I’m nodding my head”. “Ah?” I could
n’t believe my ears.
“I’m nodding my head” She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly
changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell.
During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask
herto stay…

Moral..

In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose,
you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than
you
love yourself.

There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that
person
has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they’d be
happier if we let go..

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine?
When we kiss?

This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want
to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the
world. It’s the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who
cry those
who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only
they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our
lives.

A great love? It’s when you shed tears and still you care for them,
it’s
when they ignore you and still you long for them. It’s when they begin
to love another and yet you smile and say, “I’m happy for you.” If
love
fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly
again.
Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never
have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand
back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn
about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a
lifelong appreciation of the choices you’ve made.

Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen
but
how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you
let go but how you hold on.

It’s more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward
tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever..

It’s best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that’s
available. It’s best to wait for the right one because life is too
short to waste
on just someone . . .


June 18, 2005

Love story

Just finished reading a book – Love Story, by Erich Segal. Admittedly, the plot wasn't particularly unique or anything like that. Nevertheless, it was still a very touching love story. Sweet. Sad. Moving. Love could hurt. It could hurt like hell. But would anyone really wish to live without it still?...

"Love means not ever having to say you're sorry." There it is, the one most significant quote from the book.
What does it mean, though?
I'm not sure if I agree completely with it. Not saying you're sorry when you hurt your loved ones would be taking them and their love for granted, wouldn't it?


May 30, 2005

Stay focused, o Mind!

The mind's so restless tonight
Wazzup???
Maybe it's the effect
of not having played badminton for a week now :((
Or too much time spent at the desk,
reading,
writing,
daydreaming (??!?!? :P),
thinking.
consciously thinking,
and subconsciously thinking.
Oh, I wish the exams would be over SOON!
Yet, I dread its approach! :P

Plans are already made though
Post-exams plans, that is, of course ;)
I shall laugh and play and run free again,
thursday, the 9th, week8!


May 27, 2005

Baton accepted, PJ! ;)

Total volume of music files on my computer: < 1GB

The last CD I bought was: From a street musician in Salzburg – instrumental

Song playing right now: Heart Sutra

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

1. Mai Phen Rai (from the musical, Chang & Eng)

– cried the first time I heard it live – a mother's love is truly unconditional…pure…true

2. Ai De Lu Shang Zhi You Wo He Nie

– beautiful lyrics; Dunno what I'd do if someone sang that to me ;P

3. Amigos Para Siempre

– reminds me of all the wonderful friends around me, here as well as back home

4. We Could Be In Love

– Cute, luv the idea (a mere illusion though it is, sometimes) ;P

5. What If I Said

– A happy/sad song, or part of the real/illusionary debate, depending on what you make it out to be. A song which is alive.

So many other songs are on my favourite list still!
Heart Sutra, Yue Lao, 1001 Ge Yuan Wang, Anak, Belaian Jiwa, The Gift, Guang Huai Fang Shi, etc etc

Music has in its hands, the power to touch a person's soul – the gentleness to heal, and the magic to inspire.


May 24, 2005

A bouquet of flowers and an Interview

More flowers today!! Thanx, pal! :D That was really very, very sweet of you. And the cute, lovely card from yesterday too! [hug] It really did help make the stress easier to bear :)

Had an interview earlier. Geezz… a real killer! At the end of it, I felt so mentally-exhausted, as if I'd just finished playing a very challenging game of chess :P That must be really the toughest interview I've ever had. A learning experience indeed.
I read just the night before, that there are two types of interviewer – the expert, and the "blur" (rephrased). She was definitely the former. A lot of the questions were focused on my experiences (for every single point I mentioned, she wanted specific examples!!), while a few were on my understanding of the company and the position I applied for. I had initially thought (and feared) that I would be thrown lots of technical questions. It was quite surprisingly, not so.
So, to anyone preparing for an interview in the near future – time to do some serious thinking and reflecting on your past experiences, things done, and lessons learned.


May 21, 2005

What's your Personality Type?

Your #1 Match: INFJ
The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision – no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: ISFJ
The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ
The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much – and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations … where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #4 Match: ESFJ
The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups – whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #5 Match: INFP
The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Hmm... am I in the wrong profession, eh? ;P


May 20, 2005

A rose

A friend gave me a rose today. A yellow rose. A rose of friendship.
It was a pleasant surprise, a really sweet gesture. Unexpected. Un-asked for. And because of that, it is really heart-warming as well.
It makes me think… it is simple things like that, coming from the heart, which shows how much the person cares about our friendship. Thank you (you know who you are :) [hug])
It makes me think as well, that really, it is usually the simple things, the little things that people do when they do not expect the world to be watching, that could tell you so much about who they really are.
But then, yet again, a person's true strength of character is only tested and revealed when obstacles come their way. The bigger the obstacle overcome, the stronger the character revealed.
Mankind is really complex. No one word can describe them. No one idea can define them.

May 17, 2005

My say

Blogs are really a person's window to communicating with the world. Just within a few hours of putting in my first entries, I've received quite a few comments. Some, not too pleasant either, I must say :O
To those of you who were annoyed somehow by what I do with my blog, I say: Take it easy. Why not just enjoy the pretty graphics, and move on?

I had intended to postpone writing a proper first entry until the end of my exams. But, I guess it won't wait.

I was apprehensive about having a blog initially. A diary open to the world?? And then, I thought, it could be interesting as well – to share with the world my thoughts and experiences, joy and sorrows, doubts and hopes, and to have the world share them back with me too. And so, cautiously, I took my first step into the world of Blogs. I must say that the welcome I received wasn't exactly heart-warming :P
Perhaps tempers are short in this stressful times of exams.

Blogs, the way I see it, is a place for sharing, and a platform for free speech and freedom of expression. If a blog is a shop, people come and go. Some find something they like, and stop for a while. Some peek in and walk away. Some shops sell food, some sell antiques. Each has something to sell, each has its own worth. Even if you think antiques are a waste of money, that is no reason to throw stones at the shop window.

Our lives are marked by the relationships we build up with the people around us. Many would walk into our lives through the years; some would leave footprints in our hearts. But everyone has something that we can learn from, if not about ourselves.
Take the time to listen to what everyone has to say, to listen beyond what is said, and to listen behind that which is not said. That, is respect.
Beware of the mind that passes judgement too quickly or too harshly. That, is wisdom.
At the end of the day, the choice is yours to make. And the choices we make, are what make us who we are.

All's said, I do accept that everyone is entitled to have their say. So, thanx for popping by my Blog.
Good Luck for the exams!
Smile – Spring is in the air! :)


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