December 05, 2005

h4. Story 3: New wish

Wai-hung was very fit in shape.

No one could ever tell from his figure that he was a typical gourmet, fond of food of various kinds and in large quantity. Almost all restaurants and hotels in Hong Kong had marks of his footprints. Had his desire for exercise not been as strong as his crave for food, he would have been very obese indeed. It was his perseverance in physical training that enabled him to enjoy the food while keeping a stout body of muscles at the same time. Carefully and successfully hidden deep in him, however, was a scornful thought towards those overweight people in streets. Wai-hung felt disgusted at the sight of flabby arms, elephant legs and dragon buttocks. ‘What would they manage to achieve in their life if they can’t even control the amount of food consumed?’ sneered Wai-hung very often. To him those who failed to control their eating habits and bodies were almost next to losers. Of course he talked with fat people, worked with them and even dined with them in his daily life but none could ever be his friends.

Strangely Wai-hung started to lose weight on a regular basis. He lost exactly 1 lb every other Monday when he put himself on the scale. Regardless of the fact that his appetite was as good as a crowd of haynes while the quantity almost the same as that of a whale, he kept on losing weight! At the beginning, Wai-hung was not at all worried. It must be related to work. Clients had been nastier and more demanding recently. It might be the result of his increasing metabolism rate. After all these years’ hard work in physical training, it was time to get the pay off, wasn’t it? Wai-hung’s muscles melted away quietly and quickly; his legs and arms looked rather like dry sticks; his cheeks caved in the way that his face reminded people of a skull. He was left with bones and skin, weighing hardly over 90 lbs that all his shirts and pants were XL in size.

‘What the heck is wrong with me? Have I got a cancer or something?’ requested Wai-hung in great earnestness, looking pale and panic.

‘Haven’t got a clue, buddy! Perhaps need some more check-ups,’ came the answer from a doctor friend, wearing a puzzled look too.

Wai-hung stood on his feet slowly, signed to his chest, thinking about dying young. Once stepping out of the clinic, a crowd of people came into his sight. They looked so pleasant and healthy that even Wai-hung almost forgot he was dying. Suddenly he was hit by a bitter, envious feeling which ran up his spine. Weren’t they the crowd of super fatties he once secretly mocked at? He looked closely at them, staring so hard and greedily at their round bodies as if his own flesh would return by just a few glances. ‘I wish I were them!’ whispered the bony man.

From that day onwards Wai-hung’s life was back on track. He looked great after two months, healthy and spirited with a big belly and double chins. He had made a lot of friends, mostly fat but pleasant guys. Wai-hung even joined the ‘Tiffany’s Elephant Club’ and became its honoured secretary. How about his body shape? He didn’t care a tiny bit about that now.

- 7 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Getting Slimmer – New wish
    Interesting! It shows; people always have wishes in any circumstances. Never satisfied! It must have been happier being slimmer for Mr.Wai-hung, but not. It also includes some irony towards the social tendency to desire being slimmer.

    On the whole, I love all your stories. well-captured people's minds.
    To be honest, at first, I liked the first story 'A Christmas gift'. But, after reading several times, I became getting liked other ones. They contain some kinds of messages to people. But, this is just my opinion. I'm looking forward to your next story!

    06 Dec 2005, 16:23

  2. Thank you, Junko. Your comments are very encouraging. I will work on my fourth shortly..after the deadline next week you know. I like the first two and the third, to be honest, is just for the purpose of fulfilling the course requirement, hehehe.
    I like the second best as to me life cannot be too perfect. It is abnormal. However a 'perfect life' seems to be mankind's wish in one way or the other.

    07 Dec 2005, 05:59

  3. Hi,

    You created a well written story, thank you.

    When I read the first half of the story it made sense to me. You have to sacrifice to achieve your goals, in this case it was a physically one.

    But why didi it happened? And what happened exactly to him. At that moment I'm lost in your story.

    Becoming or being fat is often caused by wrong eating behaviour (obesity). Sometimes it is a disease. I didn't like it how you are playing with this topic. It seems to me that "he" is supporting this idea. "I wish I were them"!!!!

    It doesn't matter how you look like and you don't to be Mr. or Mrs. Universum but being that is a threat to your life that can be avoided.



    13 Jan 2006, 08:34

  4. Again, a well written piece; you start off well and taper off well. You would certainly be very good at this genre if you keep at it.

    And again, I would agree with Junko's comments, except where she writes: "It also includes some irony towards the social tendency to desire being slimmer." Junko, I read the story again but couldn't find that irony. Perhaps you could help me see it?

    Janny, I will agree with Christian's comments; Hey, what REALLY happened to Wai-Hung?! Why would he suddenly start to grow slimmer? To me, the reasons that you give are somewhat not convincing. So was it some kind of Nature's payback to his pride of being a glutton and yet being physically fit? But, if that were the case, I thought Nature might want to leave him alone as an example for all other gluttons: "If you can't help eating a lot, then work at being fit too." But that's only one possible response to my conjecture of what you probably implied.

    So just like I commented on your first story, please do not leave any gaps that the reader cannot fill for themselves. Hope you read the article on my blog about when to show and when to tell.

    While your candid remark about writing this story for the sake of the assignment is appreciated, I would rather that one did what one enjoyed – then work tends to be better than if one worked otherwise.

    26 Jan 2006, 23:53

  5. it is a funny story and well written. I think the reason that others get confused and lost in your story is that they take it too seriously. I guess you make it to be funny, isn't it. I really adore your way of writing stories, and your skills. I think your competence of story writing is quite stable and you have developed your own style already.
    80 for story 1
    80 for story 2
    90 for story 3

    30 Jan 2006, 13:49

  6. I like your writing style. I wish to write like this one day. Truely I enjoyed your stories, all of them are interesting and funny. I would give you the following marks:
    story 1, 70%,
    story 2, 75%, and
    story 3, 79%

    06 Feb 2006, 18:42

  7. I'd give
    Story 1: 70
    Story 2: 78
    Story 3: 85

    Congrats! i think your stories are unpredictable and muh more interesting than mine ;)

    p/s : i don't know what happened to my comments on ur stories. i've read them and i comment straightaway after reading anyone's story..

    02 Apr 2006, 04:36

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