[The parts of this article in bold are absolutely accurate and taken from New Scientist. The rest is my own.]
Youngsters show weakness for weed
Adolescent rats are more likely than adults to be attracted by cannabis – and seem more susceptible to the drug’s effects on memory.
Professor Sharle Laton at Warwick University has been growing control samples of the cannabis leaf in his laboratory in response to ministerial calls to review cannabis classifications in the U.K. He himself was unavailable for comment, but e-mailed Inarticulations with the following statement:
"Argor [sic]…grjeio…[sic]…basically you inject some rodents with tetrametraspetrahydradodecahedroncannabinol [sic] and then it really %&$£s their minds, and then some*.”
While Laton’s methods may be seen by some as unorthodox – indeed, reprehensible, findings have proven to be telling. He claims that most law-abiding adult rats shunned the injection chamber while adolescent rats positively queued up for their tetrametraspetrahydradodecahedroncannabinol dosage. He added that there were, of course some exceptions – social rodent outcasts and ex-convict rats also showed no aversion to the injection chamber.
If Laton’s surmises are correct, this is groundbreaking news in the field of narcotic research – that youths are more attracted by drugs than adults.
Inarticulations attempted to find these dissident adolescents for comments, but none were capable of speech. One co-habiting pair of nest-fellows preferred to nibble on proffered copies of Inarticulations. This co-habitation is in itself, adds Laton in his statement, an added phenomenon. The kinds of rats willing to brave the injection chamber are more inclined to breed prolifically with more than one rodent partner.
Whether this has a profound effect on the laboratorial population remains to be seen. One adult rat observed disapprovingly that it had led to a rising demand of straw nests, but his more free-thinking son shrugged off this criticism, ‘What can I say? We’re experimental animals by nature’.
*Some text censored due to offensive content.