Yesterday afternoon, coaching exercise.
I was lucky enough to coach Graeme, our tutor. Frankly speaking, I was so nervous at first, because I almost know nothing about him, and I also have no idea what he want me to achieve. If I do something on the wrong way, what will happen?
I'm the coacher, and he is the coachee.
First he said he has problems on planning. So much things to do but so little time, and it made him feel stressed. And I, directly gave him the advice to make a list and talk to him how to use this list can get the best benefit. He feels unhappy with my advice, and said he didn't like to make a list, balabala....Then, I realized that I was doing the wrong thing.
The second round of coaching. He got a problem in teamwork. He felt himself didn't be involved in a team, he seldom gave his opinions because so much other things boring him and he didn't have mood to do so. This time, I tried another way. I asked him about his own feelings in heart, asked him what he wanted himself to be and wanted others to treat him. Let him to think the reason of the problem. I also gave him some suggestions, but not in a direct way like you should do balabala. Instead I said' have you think about try to change your attitude?' I became a listener and guided him to find a solution by himself. This conversation was so happy, and I finally be a certificated coacher.
Compared with my classmates who are coaching someone they familiar with, I think it was a bigger challenge for me. I definitely experienced a real coaching exercise yesterday, so I said I was lucky, eventhrough at first I felt a little nervous.
Several points got from the exercise:
Be a good listener.
Build a safe talking environment, so the coachee can tell you the real throught of his heart.
Focus on the problem instead of directly go to the results and suggestions.
Try to let the coachee find the solutions by themselves, not just tell them what should do and what should not do.
4 comments by 1 or more people
that’s good you learnt lot from coaching Graeme. Haha. i was sorry i abandered you but glad to hear you got a great experience from the experience
04 Dec 2008, 18:16
Ally~ I had some experience back in New Zealand in telephone counselling. Many of the principles we used to help people were very similar to what you described in your blog. Myself I find it very hard to do “Focus on the problem instead of directly go to the results and suggestions”. The reason being that most of us often have this ‘urge’ to try to solve the problem for the client instead of realising the solution lies in themselves. The end result is that for whatever suggestion we give, the client comes back telling us it doesnt work. This can be extremely demotivating for both the counsellor and the client. But you seem to have overcome that barrier. For that I congratulate you.
i feel quite sad about missing the coaching exercise :’(
05 Dec 2008, 20:45
yes, we always focus on the suggestion, but we ignore that what suggestion we give is related to our own characters and experiences~This remember me a famous Chinese proverb:” Teach the people how to fish instead of giving them fishes.” (I don’t know if I translate it right)
06 Dec 2008, 00:03
08 Jan 2009, 10:57
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