All entries for February 2005

February 28, 2005

Bizarre Associations

When I see the word caveat, I think of a judge's wig.

February 24, 2005

Work Displacement Activity #10

Writing about web page http://www.fractured-reality.co.uk/

Well after many hours spent fiddling with consistency issues, I finally have a website I can show the world. It still needs a lot of work, but the foundations have been laid.

I should really do some project work now…

Edit: I now have a proper address. The previous "Related web page" was my warwick webspace - usercode phuccc, if you were wondering what the comments are about.


February 23, 2005

I guarentee you will not care…

30 hours later at KotOR 2 is done. I can now have my life back, such as it is anyway…
Review will be out later this week, in The Boar (probably) and here, of course. Not that you care about that either.

Before I go, I present you with Darth Simonious.

Bow before your Master, slave!


February 21, 2005

I may be going about this the wrong way

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

My priorities:

  1. Star Wars Knights of the Old Repulic 2. Ok, so I lied about growing out of video games
  2. Final Year project. Only 3 weeks to go.
  3. Friends. Sorry, but the project (and obviously KotOR) are more important than you right now. If I spend time with you, I can't spend time with either my Jedi or my code.
  4. Badminton
  5. AI Presentation and essay. Is it 2500 words? Oh crap.

February 17, 2005

What's YOUR Amitness Rating?

The Amitness Rating is a scale of bad taste, (where 0 is exquisite taste and 10 is Amit and chavs). For some idea of how you can obtain a 10, you must be able to say "Bad Boys is better than Shawshank Redemption", mean it, and not feel like you have just tarnished your soul and removed a small amount of goodness from the universe.

While I would like to claim that I have an Amitness Rating of 0, this would be untrue. In fact, I think my Rating is 3, for crimes such as liking films such as The Rock, Starship Troopers and Equilibrium, and music like Embrace's latest album. And Keane. Yes, I admit it.

Other ways of increasing your Amitness Rating would be liking EA Games (with the exception of Battlefield, because I can see some worth in that), or driving a modded car (which he doesn't, but I'm sure he would want to). Or you could be a Trekkie, because suprisingly he's that too.

You get the idea. So I pose you this question: How much are you like this man?


February 16, 2005

Of all the gin joints in all the world…

Ok, this is a slightly modified version of a coversation I just had regarding a fantastic email I received years and years ago. I think you will see, the subject of the conversation is rather mind-boggling.
The email subject line was "IF U HATE FWDS THEN READ THIS COS ITS HILARIOUS!!!" and the title was "FINALLY A CHAIN LETTER THAT I LIKE!"
If you want it, I'll send it on to you. It really isn't lying about being hilarious.

Me: I have an ancient email that I think you would like
Me: sent you email
Rachel: oh my god
Rachel: i WROTE that chain letter
Me: whaaaaaaaaaaaaat??
Rachel: it was less…swear-y
Rachel: it's been modified
Me: when?
Rachel: in year 9
Rachel: or 10, possibly
Rachel: wow
Rachel: it's changed quite a lot
Rachel: mine was so funnier.
Rachel: if a little less…vocabularily accessible :~)
Me: are you positive? i got this in..erm…summer after gcse
Rachel: yup, well that would make sense wouldn't it
Rachel: 2 years to circulate
Rachel: or at least 1
Rachel: it really has changed a lot
Rachel: my version was much more structurally sound
Me: have you still got it?
Rachel: no..i've changed computers
Rachel: wow
Rachel: as well as email accounts and all that i never thought it would get back to me
Me: this must be…the wierdest thing ever
Me: summer after gcse = 2000
Me: 4 and a half years ago
Rachel: well i wrote it in 1999/2000
Rachel: so, yea
Me: this is like…so odd!
Rachel: Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower
Rachel: that's my line
Rachel: Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
Rachel: that's sort of what i wrote
Rachel: by the way the sodomize bit – that was inspired by the current controversy at the time in malaysia
Rachel: anwar ibrahim getting screwed over for sodomy
Me: heh that sodomized bit nearly caused me to break a rib
Rachel: that's mine
Rachel: You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Rachel: except that it was "goat shit", due to the numerous references to goats earlier
Rachel: i guess that was deemed "inaccessible"
Rachel: also 47
Rachel: obvious star trek reference
Rachel: i was a trekkie, if you'll recall.
Me: i didnt. u are now shunned.
Rachel: i definitely didn't write that poem
Rachel: it was another poem, but kind of shorter. i forget what it was about though
Rachel: possibly a scathing mock love poem
Me: ohoohohoohooh i really want to see this!
Me: ive sent this email to so many people over the years
Me: and to think i know the source! gives me a warm glow
Rachel: when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs. – that's my line but not in that context
Rachel: i had this thing about goats
Rachel: i thought it was funny
Me: oh it is
Rachel: that last line is quite poor though. i can't remember how i ended.
Rachel: bah!
Rachel: i want to see my original now
Rachel: but i have no idea where it is.
Me: :-(
Rachel: somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being"
Rachel: i didn't write nickel, it was 5 cents
Rachel: oh, oh, this is my line too
Rachel: Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every
day for eternity.
Rachel: when i say my line i mean unadultered
Rachel: adorable kittens!
Rachel: wow, i sounded so immature back then
Rachel: sigh
Me: but it was brilliant
Rachel: :-)
Me: this is probably the best email i ever got
Rachel: aww!
Me: i mean, the fact that i still have it 5 years later and bring it out when i need something to laugh at…
Rachel: i wonder how it got to england. i only sent it to my malaysian friends
Rachel: also only the ones in my school
Rachel: how interesting
Me: well if it was changed to "nickel" im guessing it went via america
Rachel: yes, my original term at the end of the email was "saving grace" rather than "savior"
Rachel: which is americanly spelt. ick
Rachel: oh it's all very bizarre i never thought i'd see this again
Rachel: i didn't think it got very far, seeing as it never came back to me or anything
Rachel: until today
Me: /makes frantic circle gestures
Me: eeeh this is maddening…i really want to see the original now…and i want to see how many addresses it came to me thru (if yours was still at the top of the email i got)
Rachel: i highly doubt it
Me: u never know
Rachel: well, think of how much this has been modified
Rachel: i wouldn't still be on it.
Me: probably not, but who knows?
Me: of all the gin joints..
Rachel: oh it's all rather odd indeed
Me: my head is buzzing from coincidences
Rachel: wiiild
Rachel: wiiilllldd!
Me: yeh
Rachel: haha, just checked up on correlations of facts. anwar ibrahim's trial for sodomy charge opened on june 6 1999
Rachel: i must have written it over summer holidays
Me: so..i met the sender Israel on tour: july-august 2000
Me: the email must have come shortly after that
Rachel: a year then, to get around and be modified
Rachel: highly unlikely i'd still be on the letterhead.
Me: yeh
Me: ooh u should really try to track down the original
Rachel: well, seeing as between then i've not only changed my home computer twice, and upgraded at least 6 times, but also bought a laptop and divested my old computers of all my files
Me: yes yes…but u sent it as an email right?
Me: some people (like myself) keep amusing emails for a long time
Rachel: and changed email addresses at least 5 times
Me: yes..but the recipients?
Rachel: oh, i don't know
Me: then it will remain forever a mystery
Rachel: this is truly bizarre
Rachel: coincidences eh


February 11, 2005

How's it going?

People keep asking me this, or variations such as "How are you?" etc…
It must be one of the hardest questions to answer. My current response is along the lines of "hmmm…ok" or, more recently "ill" but it's never a question I feel I can satisfactorily answer. Nor for that matter do I expect an in-depth answer if I ask someone else. In fact, if I get any response other than "alright", "ok", "good" (or anything more than one word for that matter) it often throws me so much that I can't remember what it was I said in the first place.

At the moment the best way to describe how I am is probably "meh". If you don't understand, say it to yourself in a bored, tired tone of voice – then you will get the idea. Basically, I need something to do. Unfortunately sport makes me dizzy and I'm currently unable to breathe properly, and work gives me a headache. It's only a cold, but it's a sucky one that seems to have wasted an entire week of my life so far.

Dammit.


February 10, 2005

The Special Burns Unit

Why the hell am I telling you this? Oh well, I guess it's worth a laugh…

I was cooking pasta earlier, and went to pour the boiling hot water out into the collander. For some unknown reason, as I took the pan off the hob, my brain completely shut down. The result was that I poured the water into the collander while standing in the middle of the kitchen, rather than over the sink.
After that I spent a while with my foot in my bin, which had been filled with cold water. The stinging has just about stopped, but the bin leaked onto my carpet.

Terrific.


February 09, 2005

The Saga of The Toaster

Hooray for Warwick Hostility Hospitality. Last night at about 1:15 I decided I wanted some toast. So I wenr to the kitchen, took two slices of standard-sized Hovis, and put them in the Warwick Special Burns Unit toaster. I set the timer for 2 minutes with the plan to take them out after one (as if you set it for 1 minute the elements don't properly heat up). After that 1 minutes I turned off the toaster and attempt to remove the slices, but for some unknown reason all that happened was they got squashed and jammed inside. What followed was 15 minutes of rooting around inside the toaster with a knife, attempting to remove all the bits of my toast so that the fire alarm wouldn't go off the next time someone was in need of late-night snacking. Not only did I fail in this regard, I would like to point out that what I was actually removing from the toaster was indeed bread, not toast.
Here is a simple chemical equation for how the toasters work:

Bread + Heat -> Bread Crumbs + Smoke

So I make a simple plea to the Hospitality people: Give us toasters that are not screwed into the work-surface. It would make it much easier to avoid things like this occuring, and its not as if anyone is actually going to steal them anyway.

Thank you for your time.


February 07, 2005

The distortion of space–time

I have 6 9am lectures a week for the next 5 weeks.

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