February 09, 2005

The Saga of The Toaster

Hooray for Warwick Hostility Hospitality. Last night at about 1:15 I decided I wanted some toast. So I wenr to the kitchen, took two slices of standard-sized Hovis, and put them in the Warwick Special Burns Unit toaster. I set the timer for 2 minutes with the plan to take them out after one (as if you set it for 1 minute the elements don't properly heat up). After that 1 minutes I turned off the toaster and attempt to remove the slices, but for some unknown reason all that happened was they got squashed and jammed inside. What followed was 15 minutes of rooting around inside the toaster with a knife, attempting to remove all the bits of my toast so that the fire alarm wouldn't go off the next time someone was in need of late-night snacking. Not only did I fail in this regard, I would like to point out that what I was actually removing from the toaster was indeed bread, not toast.
Here is a simple chemical equation for how the toasters work:

Bread + Heat -> Bread Crumbs + Smoke

So I make a simple plea to the Hospitality people: Give us toasters that are not screwed into the work-surface. It would make it much easier to avoid things like this occuring, and its not as if anyone is actually going to steal them anyway.

Thank you for your time.

- 7 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Surely that's the point?!

    ANYTHING that isn't screwed down gets teefed from kitchens.

    I'm amazed we didn't lose more fridges. Anyway – a few tools and the nerve to go into the drawer under the toaster results in adequate cleaning circumstances.

    Good luck. Next time make sure the bread aint floppy – and never attempt to put waffles in there.

    09 Feb 2005, 09:54

  2. The scary thing about those toasters can be seen here:

    Yes! People do pay a ridiculous amount for just a toast – and a rubbish one at that.

    09 Feb 2005, 10:43

  3. shit – the electrician last year said they were the cheapest 4 slice toasters around that would actially last in the kitchens – i say "get two infinitely cheaper good quality 2 slice toasters

    09 Feb 2005, 11:43

  4. Holy CRAP! £140 for that piece of junk?

    09 Feb 2005, 12:02

  5. Its because if stuff goes wrong all the parts are replacable – or thats what I was told!

    09 Feb 2005, 18:34

  6. I'm impressed toater + knife didn't = power cut. We learnt the equation: doughy bread plus tocil toaster = power cut,
    Plus Roberta melting tocil kettle= power cut.
    Hmm, if that affected you guys too, I should probably shut up

    09 Feb 2005, 21:01

  7. Not noticably. Oh and the way to avoid a power cut (and killing yourself) is to disconnect the toaster at the plug

    09 Feb 2005, 21:24

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