January 12, 2005

The Joy of Shopping

Today's 3 hour outing in central Coventry has brought on a number of realisations.

  • Coventry is populated almost entirely by chavs and old ladies, and both of these groups hate bus drivers. Not that bus driver hating is something exclusive to these types of people, but what the hell…
  • Tie Rack is incorrectly named. It should actually be Multicoloured Headscarf Rack. Admittedly it's not as catchy, but certainly more accurate.
  • There is still no where in England where I can buy trousers that fit. According to the clothing industry, men with 30 inch waste and 33 inch legs do not exist. As I am not a fan of belts or wearing chavvy tracksuit bottoms, as well as being incredibly fussy about, well, everything, this poses me a rather large problem.
  • Pritt-stick has undergone personification, and now refers to itself in the first person. This is terrifying.
  • It is impossible to get more than half the items you want on any single shopping trip.

And finally something (possibly) more interesting. The music that is played in many clothing shops seems in some way to match the clientele of the shop. For example, a shop playing loud hip-hop is much more likely to be visited by chavs than one playing indie, even though the ranges of clothing available in both shops are almost identical. It made me wonder which came first, the customers or the music. Did some clever store manager realise one day that his shop was populated with Kappa-trouser-wearing townies with menacing frowns, and put on some bad music to make it less likely that they would knife him, or did said townies just get drawn to the shop because of the music, like particularly brain-dead moths to a light-bulb. Hmm. I canít quite decide if that sentence requires a question mark or not, so Iíll put one here just to be on the safe side?

Iím not entirely sure of the clarity with which I have transmitted that thought, but, as was hinted at above, I have just spent 3 hours being totally unable to accomplish the simple task of buying some trousers. Hopefully a trip to Leamington (in the distant future, once I have recovered from todayís expedition) will prove more fruitful, but Iím not willing to bet on it.


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  1. You're not alone. If I ever manage to find trousers that are 32" waist 34" leg then chances are they'll be yellow with purple polka dots.

    12 Jan 2005, 16:50

  2. leam seems to be better for shopping though. but since i don't shop for guys and i don't shop for girls bc i don't like british female fashion, i know nothing really.

    interesting theory by the way… the next time i venture out into the world of commerce, i shall try and pay attention to the music played and the customers…

    12 Jan 2005, 17:23

  3. Only places I've found that do trousers in those sizes:

    H&M
    Gap
    Mexx (in Brum)
    M&S (but their clothes are shite)

    12 Jan 2005, 17:50

  4. i got evacuated from the shopping centre in coventry the other day. it was very exciting and i thought i might die. then i realised it was more likely a childish person had triggered the fire alarm for a laugh, rather than international terrorists were targeting coventry. and i'd just spotted a really great bargain…

    12 Jan 2005, 19:04

  5. I'm wearing 32" waist and 34" length but I haven't even tried looking for trousers in the UK. Try the Netherlands – also for 30"- 33". In general, trousers there aren't yellow with purple polka dots, though people do often stare at one pair I have since it looks I spilled a gallon of X over them (normal people, on the other hand, think all my trousers are cool – I might post a picture of them next time round). In theory, you could get to Amsterdam and back in one day via Cov Airport. Trousers/jeans are cheaper there as well so in the end it might be worthwile!

    12 Jan 2005, 19:57

  6. Second Gap and H&M. My fave jeans come from Gap – with a nice 33'" waist (can't remember the leg size but I'm tall).

    12 Jan 2005, 21:29

  7. I'm not after jeans though. Jeans I can find, if I am patient. Last time took me 40 minutes and trying on about 8 pairs, but hey. I would have gone to Leam, but I needed my badminton racket restrung, so I had to pay a visit to the mythical Central Sports.

    12 Jan 2005, 21:35

  8. Well those shops do sell other trousers :-P I was just pointing out one piece of clothing I own…

    12 Jan 2005, 21:58


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