December 31, 2004

Deep Thought

I hate New Year's Eve. It is the one time, more than any other, that it occurs to me how alone I am.

After much consideration I have come to realise that there are less than 10 people in this world whose company I prefer to my own, and less than 5 who I think "get me". And I'm not even certain about some of them.

As for the number of people I willingly impart information about myself to…well, actually that has been growing over the past few months, as I'm making a conscious effort to talk about more than just what music I'm listening to, what films I like, and how much I hate EA Sames. So many conversations we have in life are staggeringly superficial – there are people I've known for 10 years who I've never told anything about myself. I don't know if that makes me a shut-off person, or if it is perfectly normal, but it has begun to bother me a little bit. The problem is if I will be able to change after all these years. Thankfully the responses I've been getting in this tentative process have surprised me by being, on the whole, rather positive.

To those rare few whose conversations are always thought-provoking and challenging, I say thank you, and please may it continue for a long time to come. If you guys are reading this, I'm sure you know who you are.

I think that's about it for the moment. I will now go and try to find and alternative to spending New Year's Eve on my own, watching fireworks and Big Ben on the TV, because years gone by have shown me that there is almost no experience that is more depressing.


- 5 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. There should be an anti-new years eve party. Were people get drunk and pointedly don't do anything related to New Years.

    31 Dec 2004, 12:25

  2. I had a long period of feeling the same about my circle of friends. And what you say about superficiality is true – after all, monks who take a vow of silence still survive OK.

    But in all seriousness, it's pretty normal and you're possibly just guilty of over-analysing things! The only thing to do is get out there and meet more people. Opening up to others is the only way anyone will open up to you, and you may be surprised who you find you end up really getting along with. We're all pretty similar underneath.

    Hope you find yourself an enjoyable alternative to New Year's tonight!

    31 Dec 2004, 13:50

  3. People seem to demand too much from life, which is actually there for us to enjoy as a human being alive. People would obviously and most commonly see how harsh and how terrible life is sometimes. One thing is always neglected to be considered is the attitudes we hold towards it. Is our attitude positive? How can keep it alive—by talking with friends, doing sports, or simply being busy… which all act as ways to keep us occupied. We can that life.

    On the other hand, we might face disappointments—being betrayed by friends, hurt in sports, and hopeless in a while. But, can we control? Can we keep ‘bad times’ limited? What we can produce in life?—choose the right friends; the suitable sports, manage our life well….. These are also we can do to live our life.

    People just feel worried as time passes us by. I do, you do, he does and she does as well. But, that is life. We ultimately will be gone. Don’t you think that the process of learning and enriching ourselves is the most precious thing? These are all what everyone in existence in the world would feel and experience.

    People who is alone is not only yourself. Count me in, Simon. Happy New Year!

    31 Dec 2004, 18:09

  4. I feel quite privileged to have about (counts on fingers) four people whose company I prefer to my own.

    S'a good number. S'a very big number when you consider how much of a sociopath I am. Happy new year! Or anti-New year, whichever you prefer.

    31 Dec 2004, 20:08

  5. I often find that I prefer almost anyone's company to my own. Which isn't great.

    02 Jan 2005, 21:48


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