December 01, 2004

Castration's too good for them

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Some things just shouldn't be allowed to exist, and GoldenEye: Rogue Agent is definitely one of them.
Thank you EA for turning out yet another piece of utter, utter shite.

If anyone out there cares at all about quality computer games, please read this review and pass it on to whoever you can. Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can destroy this corporate disease! TOGETHER, WE CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!

/backs slowly away from himself while fumbling for the little bottle of pills

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  1. Goldeneye on the N64 was the pinnicle of console excellence, particularly if you had four drunks and a ton of remote mines.

    I know nothing about Rogue Agent, but in comparision, it'll obviously suck.

    01 Dec 2004, 15:03

  2. This will still be one of the best selling games this Christmas even if does suck.

    01 Dec 2004, 15:03

  3. Before I pass comment, can you explain what's so bad about it? I have to say, the previews weren't overly promising, but I'd like to know why I should support your campaign, and then maybe I might pledge a few billion pounds.

    01 Dec 2004, 15:52

  4. Yes, which is the whole problem. People are brainwashed by the brand, the name, and the colourful posters. I will now quote myself from the comments section of that very same article…

    "HELL YEH!

    Keep it up EA. Please. For all of us. Maybe if you keep flooding the market with such tat, even the braindead will finally see you for what you really are. And then you will collapse and die, to the sound of the applause of all right-minded gamers.

    Or perhaps not. People are sheep and are easily fooled by pretty posters and adverts.

    01 Dec 2004, 15:55

  5. ah sorry, James obviously got in there while i was commenting myself.

    The problem is this: Goldeneye64 was and still is one of the greatest first person shooter games to grace a console. It had great single player and even better multiplayer.
    @ Joe: more of a fan of Archive with proxy mines myself

    After Goldeneye's success, the EA fatcats decided that Bond+game = money, and bought the rights to the name. EA licencing material? never!
    Since then there have been some reasonable offerings, but nothing even remotely near the heights scaled by Goldeneye.

    THIS "Goldeneye" however has nothing to do with the original. It is not a sequel. You don't even play as Bond. It is a shocking attempt to fool the game-playing public into buying something that will be nothing like they think it is. And how do they justify calling it Goldeneye? They've given the character you play..wait for it…A GOLDEN EYE!

    go figure…

    01 Dec 2004, 16:00

  6. Ouch! If you think castration is a suitable, nay lenient, punishment for worker bees who turn out PC games you donít like, I would hate to spill a pint at you in the SU!

    01 Dec 2004, 16:08

  7. The problem with proximity mines was that people would box you in and trap you with them, whereas with remote mines you had the ethically-dubious option of grabbing somebody else's pad and detonating all their mines.

    01 Dec 2004, 16:28

  8. This looks like just the latest in a long list of inadequate licence cashins from EA. FIFA springs to mind here too.

    01 Dec 2004, 17:08

  9. And rightly so. Franchises. pffff

    01 Dec 2004, 18:22

  10. I'll quite happily add Need For Speed GT to the list too. I've heard good things about NFS:Underground but NFS GT is poor. Not as poor as Valve Limit R though.

    02 Dec 2004, 00:00

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