All entries for Wednesday 15 December 2004

December 15, 2004

Photographic Evidence

I just stumbled across a picture of Ben. So if any of you were wondering why I live an internet life under the alias "stonedben", here is the reason:

I salute you Ben, wherever you are.
You Legend.

Simon's Christmas Wishlist

Last night, in between wondering if I would ever get to sleep and trying to decide how I would go about my "work" today, I came up with a list of things I would like for Christmas.
Now, my family doesn't do Christmas – being Jewish we instead celebrate the Festival of Pyromaniacs and Donut Eating. Sorry, I mean Hanukah.
Anyway, if everyone else on this dam blog is having a wishlist, I don't see why I shouldn't get in on the action.

The 5 things I want for Christmas are:

1. Invisibility. This would have numerous practical uses, and nothing at all to do with spying on girls in changing rooms.

2. Knowledge Download. Just like in the Matrix. Come on. How useful is that. I can imagine the scene now:
Stonedben and J are faced with a seemingly impossible Quantum Physics exam paper
J: "Stonedben, do you know how to pass that thing?"
Stonedben: "Tank, I need an answers program for a Quantum Physics paper!"
Stonedben's eyes flicker
Stonedben: "I do now."

3. A time machine. To fix my past regrets and mistakes. Yes, I understand the dangerous and paradoxical nature of time travel, but as long as I'm happy, the rest of the universe can go to hell in a hand-cart.

4. £300 of computer upgrades. Not as unlikely as the previous three, but on my budget, equally fictional.

5. The ability to mind read. Because, well, it would just be incredibly useful and extremely cool.

God, the creator of assignment specifications

Writing about web page

This was not a module I ever did, but has just been pointed out to me by a friend. You need to read the first page of the document first, or this will make even less sense than it does otherwise.

Also, if you are not a fan of blasphemy, i recommend using the little cross icon in the top right corner of the screen.

1And God spake: "Let there be Light! But only One Light! And it shall be the Light of a Torch!" 2"And Ye shall Behold the Holy Torch that will guide the Righteous across the Damaged Bridge over the Valley of Death".
3And God did create four Tourists to cross the bridge. And they strove mightly to figure how they might all cross the Bridge, with but the single Light to guide them. 4And so they did consult the wise Computer Scientists of Warwick. 5Who spake unto them: "We shall provide the algorithm that ye might pass over most hastily." 6And the Tourists did offer up a great Sacrifice of Pizza and Doritos, so that the Computer Scientists might succeed in their quest.
7And the Computer Scientists did thank the Tourists, and did work most hard[ly] for 7 hours and 40 minutes. 8And then they Proclaimed: "We have worked for 7 hours and 40 minutes, and we have solvéd the problem! Ye shall go Left, and ye shall go Right. And we shall receive great Marks for our work!"
9And they went Left, and they went Right. 10A fourth day.

December 2004

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