I miss having a proper home to come home to. I miss having my family there who I have an easy relationship with no matter what.
I don't spend enough time in my flat at uni to maintain constant relationships with my flatmates and thus the place seems quite empty to me when Justin's not here (which is, of course, most of the time :-( ). But leading a busy life like I do means that this situation is unlikely to change for at least a few years, particularly if I want to move around and work/train. But will I, at some point, decide that I do in fact value having a home to come back to more than whatever else I might be doing at the time? And what will I then be able to do about it?
There was a time, up until a few months ago, when I never thought I'd think about changing my plans to feel more at home. I thought of Leam as home rather than the town my parents live in and never gave it a second thought. But recently I've realised that neither this year or last have I actually felt really comfortable in the houses I've lived in, and probably not even in first year because even then I was being criticised for not having any free time to spend with my housemates and was feelilng incredibly claustrophobic being cooped up on campus. But I thought at the time that I was happy in each situation.
What do I really value the most? And will that change?