September 08, 2005

Regrets

My time at Warwick is almost at an end and I feel a very odd sense of sadness to be leaving, a sort of nostalgia for what might have been had I been more … and less…

I wish I'd smiled and laughed more, gone out more, got to know new people, and stayed in touch with friends and family better. I wish I'd got more involved in the university, done some voluntary work, learned a new language, read more books. I wish that I'd been more motivated to learn new things. I wish I'd spent more time at the arts centre, seen more plays and gone to the cinema (and tesco!!) more often. I wish that I had trusted and followed my instincts more ('cept then I would have left). And most of all that I'd been friendlier and a nicer person.

I wish I'd cried less and not felt so angry. I wish I'd felt less stressed and worried and actually thought more about what I was doing and learning. I wish I'd spent less time on Virgin trains and more time at my destinations, with the people I love and care about. I wish I'd spent less time over-analysing everything and beating myself up for not being perfect.

This is starting to sound like one of those inane 'life-affirming' email forwards so I will shut up now. And in any case, if I had this (academic) year to live again, I would probably do exactly the same things again, so it's not like I can claim to have learned from the experience. Onwards…


- 4 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Actually it sounds like the thoughts of a person truly appreciating their time at university, and echoing my own thoughts too

    08 Sep 2005, 20:03

  2. Anna

    you'll soon remember the good things – like tuesday mornings in the gym, hysterical giggle on the kitchen floor after 'a bottle' of wine, cheesecake etc etc. it's good in a way that it's over, sad as well, but now we don't have to live the depression any longer so we can think back without being stuck in the moment. we'll laugh about it all in london.

    see you here soon!
    me x

    11 Sep 2005, 10:29

  3. hel

    ahhhh. me 2. i feel like nobody wants me. sob. good job i never wrote it in a blog so nobody knew. perhaps it would be better to be a duck, n'cest pas? anyway if it counts for anything (tho probably not) i think you're perfect-you always seem to have it all, well pretty much everything that i want. i always saw myself as the failure next to everyone else-specially you. you'll never fail at anything. maybe people just need to appreciate us more (ha ha)

    16 Sep 2005, 02:23

  4. Ah ne stressez pas, people will want you. You just have to decide whether or not you want them…
    I'm a miserable moo, it doesn't seem to matter what I do, I'm never content. Maybe I should just take myself off to the mountains and spend the rest of my days yodelling away to myself in blissful solitude.

    Goal for rest of year: to stress less and appreciate stuff more.

    And yes apparently ducks do rape – have gone off ducks in a big way.

    Come and visit me in London once I've got a place sorted out to live! t'will be marrrrrv x

    16 Sep 2005, 19:24


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