I know fuck all about politics.
Originally posted on www.twobeatsoff.co.uk.
It's true. I am nineteen years old, have been legally able to vote for a year and what did I do last time we had any form of election? I closed my eyes, whirled my finger over the page and picked anyone who wasn't right wing. I ended up voting for a wide variety of candidates, ranging from the Green Party to the Socialist Workers Party, and when my mum asked me why, I just shrugged and said "why not?"
The biggest election I've ever faced is coming up and I still don't know who I'm going to vote for. We can honestly say these days that the three main parties are so close together in what they believe that it makes it damn near impossible to pick out of any of them. So I probably won't. I know for damn sure I am not voting Conservative because all they care about are the rich and David Cameron's face is so ridiculously shiny that according to my friend Holly, it makes him look like a Thunderbird. I'm sorry, but I don't want a man who looks like a puppet leading our country. For a start, who's pulling the strings? Labour haven't exactly done our country proud in the past eight years or so and a vote for the Lib Dems is essentially wasted considering they won't get anywhere. Well, I suppose the latter point is changing - Lib Dems are currently leading in the polls - but purely because the public are fed up with the other two parties' bullshit. The expenses crisis has caused the public to lose faith in the government as a whole - if we hadn't already - and made it insanely difficult to choose a party based on their integrity. I suppose that the one good thing about the expenses crisis is that it's put everyone at rock bottom and they all have to establish themselves over once again.
This is also the first year where I've actually had anything to do with any issues - the Digital Economy Bill directly affects me as the owner of my own domain name and being a university student, I'm not going to vote for anybody who agrees with fee raises and cuts to education. However, it's the DE bill that really has me pissed off, and guess what? Virtually every major party supports it. As the owner of a domain name, I go through a company called Nominet (which I suppose is the real owner - I just kind of borrow it). However, the government intend to change this so that they control all the domain names, meaning they have access to all my records involving my website. More records under government control just mean that they have more records to get stolen or lost and then kaput, my identity's stolen and I'll be known as Ripper forevermore because I'll have nothing else left. That might be a bit overdramatic, I realise, but worst case scenario, that's what'll happen! Also, if they don't like any of the content of my website, they could easily cut off the domain name, leaving the website, as a whole, inactive. It's a bit too Big Brother for the UK to pull off, and unlikely to happen, but the possibility of censorship in this case still exists, and that is something I am not willing to accept. Not to mention the rest of the bill - torrent sites being shut down due to over-paranoia, ISP's to watch download amounts more closely, radio becoming digital (which is a waste of time) and so on so forth. I don't illegally download - not any more - and therefore, this affects me less than many people. That said, we surely should be allowed a conscience? The music industry survives no matter what, due to overpriced concerts and merchandise, and that's something you can't download. Same with the film industry - to watch a 3D film, you've got to have some high spec equipment or go to the cinema and pay over the odds for it, and you will buy popcorn because that's the done thing, resulting in tons of profit. Nobody pirates video games except PC games and DS games because it's extremely difficult to do it to the latest generation consoles. It's a stupid bill written by people who just don't understand the new technology - no matter how many Twitter accounts they have to try and convince us otherwise.
I'm still going to go with my 'no right wing party' policy when it comes to voting. The Conservatives will always be looking out for the upper and, somewhat less so, middle classes, no matter what they say. I will most likely benefit from this if they get voted in - my family are typically middle class and are likely to benefit from Tory policy, and believe me, my mother will be voting for them and my dad probably would if he gave a flying fuck about politics, not to mention my grandparents. Personally, I don't believe in screwing over the working class just so I get taxed less. Things may change as I start earning money, but I realise that I could be in that working class, my parents once were and my granddad would be turning in his grave if he knew I voted Tory. The BNP are a fucking joke and we need to get rid of them now before it stops being a joke and becomes a twisted reality. Thinly veiled disgusting racist policies which need to be abolished for the good of everybody. As an email I received from Hope Not Hate states, we didn't fight Hitler to have the country run by these assholes. With the government heading more and more towards Europe (which I'm not averse to - it's nice to be involved) and the BNP representing us… what hope do we have? If nothing else, we need to save some face. UKIP are the same as the BNP without the anti-Semitism, but man, do they hate those immigrants! To everyone who hates the immigrants because they're supposedly taking all our jobs - they're taking the jobs that you refuse to do because you're lazy and demanding. I can't say that I'm any different - I wouldn't want to work half the jobs the Eastern Europeans who live in my town are doing, but I have got a fucking ton of respect for them for doing those jobs and just wish I shared their work ethic.
So that leaves the left wing then. Labour? Probably not. The Labour Party now aren't the Labour Party that my granddad supported all his life. The Lib Dems aren't massively left wing but seem to be far more reasonable at the moment. I'm quite upset that I missed the leaders' debate on ITV for the pub (too much Coca-Cola makes for an excessively hyped up Ripper who knows even less about politics) because I'm sure that it could have aided my decision. If I vote for anything too left wing I know that it will do nothing because hardly anyone else will, and more to the point, I don't exactly know their policies. The Green Party seemed like a likely bet until I discovered they were against stem cell research, which I find ridiculous.
It seems like I'll be doing the same trick I did last time - close my eyes and hope for the best. Unfortunately, this isn't the best way to go about it. I did try voteforpolicies but it told me I should vote for either Labour or the Lib Dems so that didn't help very much. From the looks of things, the Lib Dems are indeed my best bet, but will they actually change anything if they get into office? Or is our country just fucked whoever gets in?
Or, you know, we could have a zombie apocalypse. That would make this seem like nothing more than a bad dream.