May 18, 2005

my first ever blog

well i guess in order to be cool and interesting in this new and exciting technology enriched world i must have a blog and what better way to start it than on the day before the greatest film of all time is about to come out.

I know Star Wars maybe over comerciallised rubbish but i dont care it is an amazing story and one which has had now 6 films made about it an acheivement none the less. I am perticularly excited about this latest one as everyone is and it is that reason why i am to celebrate this occasion with my first blog entry and the fact that i see it tonight/thursday morning at 00:35.

I have therefore spent the whole day googling star wars sex toys as you do on the internet to find that there is a rather limited amount of them around in fact i have found no true real ones. My dissapointment is great as i had hoped for a lightsabe vibrator, this may sound slightly homosexual but i am sorry there pure comedy value of such a toy would make my life complete. Imagine the sound effects and the shining light brilliant. Plus i have a personal bet with a lovely friend in the amount of £50 that i will not find one. In my quest to find such a thing i did however find something much better, a church site moaning about jar jar binks. For those of u unaware of star wars episode one he is a lizard like creature, and according to the aforementioned site a devil icon. according to the Landover Baptist Church, "The demonic characteristics of the Jar Jar binks creature become obvious when one pays close attention. His forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ centered man." Well there u go as a non christ centered man i now feel informed.

The problem it seems in jar jar is that young children going through pubity it seems are replacing there love for the opposite sex with jar jar. Now this lizard is cute but really i doubt that this can be possible, well yes it can here is the case they give

"One Mother was concerned that her young daughter was not interested in boys," a Pastor noted, "she asked her little girl, 'why don't you talk about the cute boys at school?' Her daughter replied, 'oh momma, nobody I know is cuter than Jar Jar Binks.'

It gets worse as there was a life sized doll created and sold in toy shops, amazingly this was then used by children as a masterbation toy according to experts…."the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure."

Well i am off to buy one of these dolls asap i am encourage everyone else to dicth there partners and try this doll out maybe even a threesome could be wise who knows; the article can be found at link it is very interesting there is also another article on a candy bar of jar jar with a 10-inch tongue that looks very much like male reproductive organs

Well anyway i must go and prepare for tonight and i shall probably report back tomorrow with my love for star wars even more however i may be just be sitting in the thearter watching it over and over again.


- 2 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Rob you need your oed! Tut tut tut. If you get one of those dolls you are sad and well, just sad really. By the way you will not be getting that fifty pounds, even if you do find one.

    Now for what I really need to say, get a life! Star Wars is not the best film ever made. I'm sure you got that line about it being over commercialised from me, thats what I'm always telling you. You have tonight to convince me Star Wars is good, if I like this film I will never mock you again, if I do not like it I will continue to frequently mock your Star Wars fetish.

    18 May 2005, 17:17

  2. See more reason why we need to kill that annoying gimp Jar Jar Binks…god I've never had so strong a hate

    18 May 2005, 17:48


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