All entries for Tuesday 11 January 2005

January 11, 2005

the one in which I reveal that everything in my house was made in the Stone Age (Part III)

and what exactly is the logic behind having a hot tap and a cold tap, separately? I imagine people all over the world, every morning and every night, standing before their sinks as damned souls would stand before the maker on Judgement Day, quaking in trepidation as they ask themselves the harrowing question:

to freeze my hands solid with the cold tap, or incinerate with the hot?

I therefore believe that the hyperbolic bipolarism of bathroom taps is to blame for all radical and extremist thought and activity in the world today. Clearly.


the one in which I reveal that everything in my house was made in the Stone Age (Part II)


and I turn on my oven with a match.

the one in which I reveal that everything in my house was made in the Stone Age (Part I)


One of the taps in the bathroom in our house is a heinous liar. The one on the right is blue, and the one on the left is labelled 'Cold'.

January 2005

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