All 4 entries tagged Rules
May 31, 2008
Apparently today is World No Tobacco Day.
So "Yay!" to no smoking.
Remember, if you smoke you're a damned fool.
November 20, 2007
July 01, 2007
Writing about web page http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6258034.stm
I couldn't be happier that there's a ban on smoking; I don't know about you, but I'm guessing that if you're not in favour of it then you're probably a smoker and therefore a damned fool, and as an idiot you opinion is automatically worthless...
I've never been able to understand the attraction of smoking; it doesn't achieve anything - alcohol generally makes you merry and kills you, drugs make you see pretty colours and kill you, smoking just kills you...
For the record, smoking does not give you a high; smoking gives you a low because of withdrawal and then the actual smoking gives you a normal. And it kills you. It also kills everyone around you. Slowly. At least the other vices only kill other people by your actions while under the influence (drink-driving, for example); it's the smoking itself that kills the others. (And as we all know, killing Others - while always morally questionable - can only be excused if you're LOST...)
As for the question of reduced revenue from alcohol, I think the important questions are "are there more smokers or non-smokers in the country?", "by how much?", and "if non-smokers are the majority (as I do so hope), how many will now start/resume going to the pub?".
So, hooray for the smoking ban.
November 13, 2006
I’ve decided to post these since so many people seem to be unaware of them. Also note that they do not apply to people who are immune to embarrassment.
Do not sit in the front row
If you sit in the front row, there it is strong possibility that you will be Talked To and may even be Made Fun Of. This is also somewhat true of the first few rows as a whole, but is especially true of the front row. If you have a choice, avoid the front row. If you desperately want the front row or cannot avoid it, a seat towards one side of the stage (i.e. not in the middle) may spare you…
Never arrive late
I cannot stress this one enough. You’ll probably be safe if you’re not in the stalls (although the front of the circle could still be risky), but if you are anywhere in the stalls other than possibly the back third then it is pretty much a certainty that you will be Complained At for being late with many Probing Questions about what you were doing that was more important. Always make sure you arrive early to a comedy gig. If you do turn up late, consider waiting until the interval before entering (well, the end of the interval really…).
Never leave before the interval
Not as bad as the previous one, but still pretty much a certainty for Being Picked On, probably with comments on Poor Bladder Control. However, it does naturally lead on to Coming Back In, which is actually a foolproof method for Being Picked On. If you need to leave, try as hard as possible to hold on until the interval, but don’t leave it so late that you need to run out; that will only serve to attract the comedian’s attention even more…
There are probably more, but these are the main ones. If you can’t follow the rules, hope you’re lucky enough to have a comedian that doesn’t pick on people; most of them do, however…
Also be aware that if you do get Picked On, you will likely be Talked To or just Referred To periodically for the remainder of the show.
You have been warned…