June 25, 2006

Reid's Great new Plan

In a speech tonight Dr. John Reid is expected to announce the Government will be reintroducing trial by Ordeal. The move comes after a recent headline in the News of The World attacked what they describe as 'A culture of Witchcraft'.

Human rights group Amnesty attacked the move, a spokesman saying, "This is yet another slap dash response to tabloid pressure by those wankers at No. 10".

Wannabe Leader of the Opposition, Menzies Campbell backed this stance at an OAP Rally this morning. "There are a growing number of instances where incidents which used to be regarded as high–jinks or normal adolescent behaviour 15–20 years ago are being seen as witchcraft now," he said.

Under the new system the accused would be bound and thrown into water. If they sink they are found innocent and if they float they are found guilty. The innocent person would then be rescued, though the rescue may not be successful.

Criminologist and author of 'How to kill Witches in the 21st Century' Professor McDougal explained, "In the middle ages Witches were imagined to float supernaturally above water because they had renounced baptism when entering the Devil's service. Now science has proved this to be true".

Robin Wendallson, of campaign group Victims' Voice, whose own son was once tricked into talking to a plant by a witch said that the new laws were long overdue, "Since the introduction of the Human Rights Act it has become impossible to treat Witches with the cruelty and ridiculousness that has been a British Tradition since Salem." Salem was in the USA.

Another perspective on the situation is offered by Barry Scott, member of The Daily Mail Stereotypes League, who described the move as 'Common Sense'. "It is about time that this country recognised that only a rose tinted view of the middle ages can save it from the persistent threat of terrorism, paedophiles, foreigners, Young People, human rights lawyers and Witches", he said.

- 3 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Brilliant.

    25 Jun 2006, 10:28

  2. Disturbingly accurate.

    25 Jun 2006, 23:50

  3. Christopher Rossdale

    Nice and nicely done!

    26 Jun 2006, 19:22

Add a comment

You are not allowed to comment on this entry as it has restricted commenting permissions.

June 2006

Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
May |  Today  | Jul
         1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30      

Search this blog



Most recent comments

  • Apart from the plea "can I have your old one?" (the yearning never diminishes) I'd like to leave you… by Sue on this entry
  • Unfortunately I still haven't seen a film for which you have to read up on quantum mechanics as I mi… by Sue on this entry
  • I've never been to watch a film before when it's been recommended that you first read up on quantum … by Sue on this entry
  • Well this is very interesting, i really liked reading this blog, this was very informative and very … by Mio Navman Spirit S300 on this entry
  • I thought it was fascinating. Griffin isn't like any other, media–trained, polished politician, and … by Tim on this entry

Blog archive



Not signed in
Sign in

Powered by BlogBuilder