September 19, 2008

Financial Limericks

Just a bit of fun… they didn’t take me long and it probably shows!

Right now an old merchant banker
Might be viewed by some with some rancour
But if you give him some money
He might see it as funny
and spend it on another oil tanker

There was a man and his hedge fund
walking the streets looking quite stunned
He said, “have you got any cash?
cos of in the event of a crash
I’ll be sure to offer a refund!”

There was a wizard of finance
Who led the taxman a right dance
He said “With this government bond,
I’ll just wave my wand
But I’ll need an annuity in advance!”

Two banks talked about a possible merge
after feeling a definite urge.
“At the end”, said some top guys
“after all of the goodbyes,
We’ll have a bit left for a splurge”

A share dealer couldn’t shift some stock
Everyone thought it an old crock
They said “You should sell at a loss
Just like your old boss
Though they’re changing his office door lock…”

Some men tracking the FTSE 100
began to wonder if somehow they’d blundered…
They thought of their pension,
but didn’t dare mention
the others they’d probably plundered

There once was a stock market slump
that made everyone a bit of a grump
it turned into a recession
and brought on general depression
and we landed with a bit of a bump

The scene on the trading room floor
was normally something like war
but now it’s not “buy!”
it’s more like “goodbye!”
like nothing ever seen there before!


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