I have a certain feeling that when Paul Scholes retires, he should take up volleyball as a sport. Just look at what he did last night when he played the UEFA Super Cup. During the match, he was sent off for handballing. It was very funny how he handballed. It looked like a block out of a volleyball match. I bet he used to play volleyball when he was kid! Haha!
August 27, 2008
Brollyman Steve McClaren is back in town tonight! You will not find him in the Riverside Stadium, nor the Wembley Stadium. You will find him in the Emirates!
Tonight, he will come back with his players from FC Twente to be slaughtered by the great Arsenal (not literally). The last time he stood on an English touchline, he was holding a brolly, watching his English boys being beaten by the Croatians. I bet he spent too much time listening to Rihanna's "Umbrella"!
Tonight, I bet if anyone asks the Brollyman any question about his team, he will answer in a very heavy Dutch accent:"Our team is a very underdoggy team, but at least we have more than Twente-y players in it."
I've been thinking what it will be like when Brollyman meets Marco van Basten for the first time when FC Twente meets Ajax in the Dutch League. Here is my perfect conversation for them:
The 2nd half has just begun. No goal has been scored. Brollyman stands on the touchline with Van Basten and asks him for a chat. He speaks with very heavy Dutch accent.
Brollyman : Hi Marco. Can I have some of your hair please?
Van Basten: No Stevie. My hair can't grow on your head. By the way, I am trying to get my head back to its old self.
Brollyman : How was your Euro 2008?
Van Basten: Great, until we played Russia ('Russia' is said in very sexy way).
Brollyman : We lost to Russia too, Mr Hiddink and his crazy Russians.
Van Basten: Hiddink is one of us, a Dutch.
Brollyman : Sorry. I forgot that.
Van Basten: I forgive you this time. How was your Euro 2008?
Brollyman : Me, I was commentating on the BBC Radio for all the Croatian matches. I and the Three Lions were beaten by Croatians. That's why England wasn't in Euro 2008 and why I was put into the sack!
Ajax scores a goal. The scorer runs toward Van Basten like a child and Van Basten hugs him.
Brollyman : So do you think I am a failure?
Van Basten: Yyyyeeeeesssss.
Brollyman : So what can I do?
Van Basten: Go back to England and go to 'Fergie's'.
Brollyman : I've been to 'Fergie's'.
Van Basten: Then resign, go home and find another job.
The whistle is blown. Brollyman shakes Van Basten's hand. Both of them disappear into the tunnel.
August 21, 2008
Last night, Holland played Russia in an International friendly. But haven't they played each other before? Yes, Russia played Holland in Euro 2008 exactly two months ago and Holland was beaten 1-3 by Russia. But since that day, the Dutch national team has changed a lot. Let's compare:
Coach: Van Basten
Captain: Van der Sar
Goalkeeper: Van der Sar
Key striker: Van Nistelrooy
Coach: Bert Van Marwijk (don't worry, no one here really knows who he is, apart from the fact that he is the father in law of Van Bommel)
Captain: Probably Giovanni van Bronkhorst (he looked a bit Italian to me during Euro 2008 because he had heavy tan)
Goalkeeper: Maarten Stekelenburg (new to me even though he played during Euro 2008 against Romania. Not a clue about who he is)
Key striker: Robin van Persie/ Klaas-Jan Huntelaar ( everyone should know Van Persie by now, whether we like him or dislike him is another question, but who the hell is Huntelaar?)
Well, the Dutch Football Regime has changed. Hope the Dutch will get into the World Cup. If they don't, then support Scotland because they are in the same qualification group!
England played badly against Czech Republic last night. It was 2-2. It seems no coach can ever change the way England plays football, not even Capello. I predict in ten years' time, many people will say that Sven Goran Eriksson is the best England coach of the 21st century so far.
I am glad that big-headed Brian Barwick is leaving the FA at the end of the year. He was the one who hired the useless Brollyman Steve McCLa-Laren as the England manager. As a gesture of goodwill, I dearly wish Barwick the best of luck in the future, whatever he will be, because he needs it.
August 07, 2008
If you don't know, Man Utd played Juventus last night, but when you watched it, didn't you realise that the two goalkeepers have just played each other some weeks ago? Yes they did. It was when Holland played Italy during Euro 2008. The Man Utd goalkeeper was the Dutch skipper and rather similarly, the Juventus goalkeeper was the Italian skipper. So what were they like back in Euro 2008?
The Dutch skipper, well he was more like the 'Dark Knight' of Team NED, mainly because.....:
- his kit was mainly in black
- he saved his team from getting embarrassed
- he is the most capped player in Dutch football history
- he was the 'daddy' of the team
The Italian skipper, well he was a great goalkeeper who was also HOT, HOT, HOT, mainly because.....:
- he certainly saved Italy from an earlier flight home
- like many Italians, he looked red hot and sexy
So what was the result from last night? It was a goalLESS draw. Wah (sob).
July 23, 2008
Petr Cech doesn't just make one mistake. One mistake is OK. But he has made lots of them last season and he can't do penalty, which has cost him the Community Shield and the Champions League last season.
I think Cech has changed a lot since he got his head injury, but not for the better. He used to be the best before he got his head injury, but now, he is not the best.
July 21, 2008
Chelsea's Petr Cech has just signed a new contract and according to Luiz Filipe Scolari, he is the best goalkeeper in the world. Really?
I don't think so. I mean look at him. He didn't win anything with Chelsea last season and he did a blunder when playing against Turkey, resulting in the Czech Republic being knocked out of Euro 2008. Surely, there are better goalkeepers than him. Eh!?
So what do you think?
July 08, 2008
Today, the legendary new Chelsea boss Scolari had his first press conference. While watching it on Sky Sports News, I have realised there are many similarities between the new Chelsea boss and the 'Special One' (that's JM, in case you don't know.) These are:
- They both come from Portuguese speaking nations
- They are so much fun to watch.
Sadly, Big Phil's English isn't as great as JM, but he is still very entertaining.
So what do you think Big Phil will do next season?
July 07, 2008
After the sacking of the charismatic 'Special One', Chelsea made Avram Grant boss. Then, Chelsea sacked Avram Grant after ending the season with ABSOLUTELY nothing. Luckless Avram.
So where is Avram Grant now? Early sources have told me that Grant has been offered the job of managing the Georgia national team by the Georgian FA. Is this true or just a gossip? If you have any information about the whereabout of Avram Grant, put it as a comment and put on your source.
July 01, 2008
- Portugal: I have expected Portugal to do well. Before Euro 2008, I thought Portugal would reach semi final or even final with players like Ronaldo, Deco and Ricardo (gk), but they could only reach the 1/4 final.
- Croatia: Before Euro 2008, I thought Slaven Bilic was a genius: young, highly qualified, a musician and very successful, everything you want from a 21st century football manager. What happened during their match against Turkey before the penalty shoot-out was an act of foolishness: the Croatians celebrating after they scored a goal and Turkey replied by scoring a goal. This can't be cool.
- Holland: I had high expectation for Holland. I thought they might even win Euro 2008. Like all things that are related to the Oranges, it all started well. In fact, watching them play in the group matches was like reading a fairytale book. They played attacking football and everything went well. The 1/4 final was like a disaster. They did not play attacking football (the Russians did) and the back 4 did not defend well. Maybe that's what Holland is all about.
- Italy: I had a feeling that the Italians were a bit old and slow but they survived Group C, which was OK.
- Turkey: They had a more average team than the Russians. You see, some of the Russians actually won the UEFA Cup some months ago and they had a magical coach in the form of Guus Hiddink. Did the Turks have all of these? No. But they still did as well as the Russians.
June 30, 2008
OK, now we know that Spain is the winner. Well done Spain.
Now, let's have a Euro 2008 version of Eurovision Song Contest. Before we say what country gets what points, we must first as a gesture of goodwill thank our hosts Miss Austria and Mr Swiss for hosting a wonderful show.
Now we have the score for each team. The best gets 16 points and the worst gets 1 point.
- 1 point goes to Greece
- 2 points go to France
- 3 points go to Poland
- 4 points go to Switzerland
- 5 points go to Sweden
- 6 points go to Romania
- 7 points go to Czech Republic
- 8 points go to Austria
- 9 points go to Portugal
- 10 points go to Croatia
- 11 points go to Holland
- 12 points go to Italy
- 13 points go to Russia
- 14 points go to Turkey
- 15 points go to Germany
- 16 points go to Spain!
What do you think?
Remember, we have only got 2 years to go until World Cup 2010 to come around.
To finish this blog, here is something to remind you of Euro 2008: